I Was Sexually Harassed In High School, But It's Too Subtle And Too Late To Report It. (tw)

[Tei-Saji]

I was in special education. Everyday, I had to be escorted by a teacher assistant so I "would not ditch class." One of the days he escorted me to a classroom, he teased my obesity by pinching my nipple, blatant over the clothes I was wearing. I tried to tell the special education teachers about it, but they said that they will not let it happen again, and that there was no need to report it to the principal or anything. So I just kept silent. Very stupidly. Even if I did try to go to the principal about it, the teacher assistant who had to escort me every day would just not allow it. After school, he would make sure there were people stationed at the entrance to the principal's office so I don't go there and report it.

And now, the feeling of my nipples being pinched just looms over me sometimes. It really gives me the chills. I'm in college now, by the way, and I'm only now remembering things from my clouded past. I've forgotten so much of high school and middle school that I feel like whenever I remember something from those periods of time, I feel a need to hang onto them, so I don't forget them again. I'm afraid of forgetting again. And at the same time, these memories bring only pain and futile anger.

 

[NovemberStar]

I am so sorry you were treated this way. That is blatant ABUSE. And those other teachers who did nothing other than say 'oh we won't let it happen again' are just as guilty.

You may or may not want to report it now - yes it might be years later but for all you know there might have been other students complain and maybe the police / school officials are just waiting for one more person to step forward.

Are you receiving any help or therapy to help you work through this?

 

[Tei-Saji]

@NovemberStar

To be frank, this was only one incident where I got sexually harassed. And I haven't talked about this to my therapist. I never thought it would be worthy of discussing. It hardly---if at all---qualifies as sexual abuse. And there are people in the world who have suffered worse traumas, so I feel that my instance is belittled a bit. So talking about it like it's sexual harassment just makes me feel guilty when other people use the same term for worse things...

 

[Shaan]

@Tei-Saji it definitely counts as sexual abuse to me! I had a stupid tailor jus touch me and I could not sleep for two days. I cried like an idiot and did not tell anybody about it. But I finally took help from my friend and she came along with me and I blasted him. Even though I did not mention to him what he did I did mention "you know what you did". And trust me that small thing just because I made a point to tell him has made me feel so much better. It's been 2 years or more and sometimes I also feel like complaining to the police but then I just let it be. Don't worry if its too late to take action. If it bothers you and if you know that you are right you go and blast that guy.

 

[NovemberStar]

@Tei-Saji - it doesn't matter if 'it was just once' - it was wrong, and it is clearly affecting you.

Most of us diminish our experiences, it's common to compare what we went through to others, and many of us have said exactly what you have "it's not that bad compared to xyz".

Please tell your T. It is important. It affected you, and therefore it's important to talk it through with yr T.

 

[Shaan]

@NovemberStar Couldn't agree more. Please get it out of your system @Tei-Saji.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Also, it is never too late to report abuse, even if they do nothing. You can always report that person to the school district so they can watch him, if that is what you feel is ok and safe for you to do so.

He didn't touch you inappropriately because of obesity, or anything you did, wore, looked like, or said. He sexually assaulted you because he is a pedophile who sexually assaults people he has control over. What you are describing is sexual assault, not sexual harrassment. WHAT a JERK!!!!

That was ALL him, all responsibility for that was all on him, and you are to blame for NONE of his horrible decisions and behavior.

If you are being belittled, the people doing that have no idea what they are talking about. What was done to you was horrible, a terrible violation of all boundaries, a felony crime, and ANYONE would have trauma from that.

I hope you do tell it to your therapist. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I feel infuriated for you. You deserve to be proud of yourself for surviving that. Good for you for being strong and brave for writing that here!

You deserve healing and peace. I hope you can be gentle with your kind self. You are no longer alone. You have allies, friends, and witnesses here.

I believe you. (((((Hugs)))))

 

[Tei-Saji]

@BloomInWinter

I just might do that. But I'll want to consult my therapist about such confrontations first.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Great plan. I wasn't suggesting otherwise. :)