I was told that i’m narcissistic because i have ptsd

[Gs172003]

Narcissism is rare. The word is thrown around alot though.

 

[jade53]

I've been told the same Eve and had a certain psychiatrist list that as one of my axis' or something in a doctored report to cover where his excess brains come out when I had to request a copy of one that got destroyed in a fire when I was appealing my conviction as the result of his testimony. What I've generally found is that most times it's a pot calling the kettle black in an attempt to demoralize, discredit, or dissuade.

 

[Mee]

I agree with Friday: I feel very selfish. I am not as functional as many here however .

One of the early things I took to my therapist was a fear I was narcissistic . She actually chuckled. She assured me I was not. This started a bit of a trend where I looked for other things that could be wrong with me ... that made me like this .... that made it more my fault till one day my therapist said.... that what I had to face was I had had a really shitty hand of cards ; that I had handled a lot really well and the last thing was .... something that was a trauma on top of trauma and was poisonous and NOT MY FAULT but something I was not equipped to deal with. We talked about how it every one got PTSD and she said but at some point the toughest nut cracks.

I think I ( we?). have to be a little selfish because i ( we) cracked! i ( we) spend a lot of time checking our cracks aren’t going to let leaks in from outside and THAT is my (our?) need. And that’s ok .

We owe it to ourselves to keep ourselves stable and squire the tools we need to get more stable .

 

[Changing4Best]

I guess this goes along with my T being surprised that I care about other people and our nation. Like... of course! Just because so far my therapy has been about me, does not mean I don't care about others! It just means that I was focusing on me, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do in therapy.

No really, this is absurd, Eve. You are NOT a selfish person! That is evident by the way you interact on these forums. Please get that person out of your life, or lessen contact with them. Seriously.

 

[Actually..]

So yeah....

I recently opened up to someone new about my PTSD. He responded that the disorder e...

Actually - i was married to a TRUE Cluster B bonafide Narcissist (covert type) and it was uet ankther abusive relationship which replicated my earliest trauma (i have CPTSD even though its not formally classified in DSM). It was what got me to treatment in the first place and where after decades of therapy, misdiagnoses and self destructive behaviors i finally started to get proper treatment for PTSD.
With therapy and medication it took me 3 years to physically extricate myself from the relationship and i am now in (another) year three of trying to mitigate the damage and process in addition to my initial and subsequent traumatizing events - and i have amazing therapist and psychiatrist. 6 yrs altogether so far.
That relationship exacerbated all
Of my symptoms. Most of the time I still have trouble leaving the house (i live alone). I had to take 6mos off from work to avoid constant triggers. In short - narcissists are not only selfish - they take pleasire/empowerment from harming others. They use a variety of psychological tools to suck u in to their web and they will only discard you when they have taken every ounce of fuel they can get from you - financially (they are parasitic) emotionally mentally and spiritually.
Does this behavior sound anything like PTSD? Or does it sound like a situation that triggers you over and over?

 

[TruthSeeker]

Narcissism is rare. The word is thrown around alot though.

Narcissism is not rare- most people are narcissist to different degrees and this may take place in only certain environments(eg work) A NPD individual does not believe they are crazy- they believe they are the greatest and sanest thing walking- and it’s everyone else that’s crazy. I believe you see fewer people w NPD in therapy because of this personal belief. They really think there is nothing wrong with them. Alcoholics and drug abusers often can be quite narcissistic- very me oriented to others detriment. NPD require co- dependent personalities to continue their habits successfully. NPD also runs in families- since narcissism - lying, manipulation, guilt, shame, secrecy, lack of boundaries, and loyalty to the narcissist, are all tactics family members learn from very narcissistic parents. I think it is more common than people think.

 

[jade53]

Narcissism is not rare- most people are narcissist to different degrees and this may take place in only...

I've got to say that I completely agree as apparently many others do now. Apparently as more and more people have had difficulties recovering from the psychological damage they can do, it's really eye opening with all there is on the internet about them and I recommend everybody take a look.
Particularly the psychiatrists that I had experience with and labelled me for my narcissistic traits when they didn't think I was smart enough to know they appeared more interested in finding a sexual deviance, than what my problems already were.

 

[joeylittle]

Everyone has a personality.

But everyone does not have a personality disorder.

It’s entirely possible to have narcissistic tendencies without qualifying for a NPD diagnosis.

 

[Mach123]

Everyone has a personality.

But everyone does not have a personality disorder.

It’s entirely p...

That's good, I can keep killing you and telling you I'm not.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@joeylittle even you and I could have a little too much self- love at some time in life-butbnot likely to the detriment of others.

However I believe I have been taught the skills necessary to survive and have narcissistic tendencies that I’m working on that we’re used to survive there-since I lived in a narcissistic world - I understand it. I am now aware- now I choose my path- but that’s just me and I wish harm to no one.

NPD is serious self love to the exclusion of others feelings and mental well-being- narcissists with NPD are to be hated and pitied all at the same time- they can’t feel empathy. Someone did this to them- someone hurt the person with NPD to make them that way- likely an influential or significant person with NPD in their life-just like someone hurt us and we now have PTSD and or other issues. I feel like I have an empathy bowl- just not much empathy in it at this part of my journey right now- but I see a person diagnosed as NPD as not even owning an empathy bowl-nor ever acquiring one- that is sad. I have many family members who are very narcissistic to my detriment. I stay away-close those doors and I feel better. They find me when they get low on narcissistic energy. Arg. I try not to engage or even answer.

@joeylittle -Leaving a narcissistic family is hard, and takes a commitment to walk away and stay away. I have been lured to go back with many promises of forgiveness, inclusion, love, being able to see my grandson- nope- for me to be sane- I can’t go back-it hurts not to belong somewhere but hurts more to be shit on emotionally. My Reality, I don’t belong there and don’t want to. So I must find a new way- a new place to belong-and repair the damage in me that has resulted from that life. Awareness brings choices-and I can’t get better being caught up in their manipulative games. It’s getting better-slowly I’m finding more of me.

 

[jade53]

@Bkinder
Thank-you. I feel less alone for being half way around the world

 

[New]

@EveHarrington I can’t believe you were told you were a narcissist because of PTSD and I’m so sorry.

I haven’t been called a narcissist but have been told I’m being selfish now.

In my opinion I think we are not trying to be selfish by shutting people out. I do it so I don’t bring them down and make them feel sad.

Putting myself first has been and continues to be one of the hardest things for me. I hate focusing on myself and all my feelings.

I think you are awesome Eve. Thanks for posting this.