Relationship I Wish I Wasn't So Weak

[Seaotter]

As an update ...things have taken a turn for the worse. In a week he went from being angry and upset that I ignored him to two days after he asked me to leave him alone and said "my hot/cold was painful". At our mutual event we had normal behaviour three days later. The next day he posted something on his FB and I commented privately - it was me bringing stuff up and I got home and was de-friended, then I asked why and he read them but didn't respond. When I woke up I was blocked.

The last two nights I have smiled at him from a distance, but it is really tense - I think he thinks I'm going to be angry with him. I am going to let him go and let him do what he needs to do and hope I am not always going to bad the guy. I am going to pull up my socks and live my life without him. It's been a tough six month break and we were stuck in a loop - so I don't blame him for deleting me, but it hurts. It makes me feel like I've been a crazy, ridiculous, love-sick girl. By blocking me he has just told me he doesn't respect me and doesn't want me in his life. I am probably the only person he's ever blocked. Even an abusive ex that he dated is still on there.

I still love him and want him to come back to me but I agree with you Sephira, he doesn't feel safe because I always want to talk about us and can't cope. With time and distance do you think there's any hope?

 

[bell]

Yuck, what an uncomfortable situation, @Seaotter! Why not write him an email that says that you care and will be there for him, but not as long as, @nursenurse says, you're not a fish being reeled in and out? (I.e., when he's ready to be in your life permanently again.) Then you can go about your life as you do and if he gets better, he will find you. While being blocked sucks, it helps break the "loop" that you mentioned, which can be as helpful as it is hurtful. Best of luck with you and be easy on yourself as you rebuild your heart. :)

 

[nursenurse]

Quit holding on! Regain your own self respect. While you may have a been a bit pushy, his reactions are way beyond that. You become his doormat. In the non PTSD world, if any guy treated someone the way he treated you, it would be adios! Do not expect any less for yourself than the way you would treat someone else. You are not a second class tuna starving for bait. Leave him be, get out of that mutual activity if you can, I don't care how much you enjoy it. Your heart is more precious than that. He is the loser.

Keep up with your therapy, you are worth it. Find out about your own tendencies, and why you hook up with guys who do not value you. There are lessons to be learned all around, and they can only make you stronger and more resilient. Good luck.

 

[Seaotter]

All good points. I feel very sad that it's come to this but I'll have to move on.