I Wish....

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

Here my furry. Got his 6 months ago and here is when he was a pup. Gets me through the day!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Here my furry. Got his 6 months ago and here is when he was a pup. Gets me through the day![...

Cute pup! Must be a lab. I wish my thoughts racing thru my mind would change, Im in constant state of termoil right now :(

 

[lostforgottensoul]

An animal lover !!! I prefer animals to humans most days... I recently had to put my 24 yr. old Tortie cat...

Im sorry you had to put your Tortie down! My calico is 12 and my orange tabby is 11 and my pitbull is almost 5. They all help anxiety for sure!

 

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

Have you read on Meditation and/or Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and/or deep breathing for anxiety/ PTSD

Helped me so much! I listen to mediation CDS now and also do deep breathing.

When I catch my thoughts running, I find creative ways to bring myself back in the Now. The moment. By saying "I'm safe, I'm safe I'm safe right now"

I didn't feel safe so this was hard. But logically I can think "well honestly. At this very second I am safe" so I didn't feel like I was lying to myself

 

[oasis2003]

hi
welcome to the forum, firstly " what is normal ? " I certainly am not normal thank goodness ! I have three cats who are gorgeous and a golden lab, sometimes they help me through the day, and other times they drive me mad, it is winter here at the moment and my cats love to be cosied up. Try mindfulness maybe? It has helped me soooo much.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Totally but the bond is more with the calico Codee who was thrown against walls. Its almost s...

Coping with physical pain does take its toll. I hope you take it easy on yourself.
I had a cat as a kid, saved from torturing boys. At first he stayed under the refrigerator all the time. He was named Uptight and would only come out when no one was about to eat and take care of business. For weeks every chance I got, I'd lay on the floor and softly whisper to him. Then with a drop of milk of my finger I'd slide my hand under the fridge always whispering. It took a while but he warmed up to me. When no one was around but us he would come out for me to pet him.
Never before or since did I ever have a cat with a louder purr or relish being pet like Uptight.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Have you read on Meditation and/or Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and/or deep breathing for a...

I watch Oprah's Super Soul Sunday (the only spritual thing that doesnt make me freak completely out) and I know of the book but being dyslexic I dont read much. Its a lot to get thru "The Post Traumtic Strss Disorder sourcebook" by Glenn R Schiraldi Ph.D , my therapist & I are going thru it together, im stuck on the Recovery part of the book, stopped reading there cuz I cant seem to allow myself to let feelings go by, ID them and certianly cant seem to go deeper but anyway, i found a free app in google play called "What's Up?" by searching anxiety and it helps. Its not just breathing exercises but things you can think about to lower anxiety pretty fast and i work as an internet and PC tech at a call center, people are always screaming at me and i got caught a few times yelling back cuz my anxiety got in the red zone. Since I had my meds increased & have 2 extra FMLA breaks but I have to calm it when im on the phone so i try the deep breaths, thinking of floating on my back on water, few other things. I would have lost my job if my supervisor wasnt so awesome. Ive been in call center work all my adult life so almost 17 yrs and its only beenthe last 5 that the anxiety has been ever increasing and now have no less than 8 massive panoc attacks a day. My dad bought me the book Risin' Strong by Brene Brown for christmas (he gave it away) which is a book of how to "feel, deal, heal" i believe is the order. Basically it speaks "me me me" lol. I'll start to read that w/ the PTSD sourcebook in combination w/ seeing my therapust weekly still and hope it helps. Anyway i caution of the books i get or try to read, of they are religous or spritual in anyway they may trigger a ritual, which isnt good at all. I can say that as an adult i have never hurt an animal but all the other rituals i still self do as its my normal, its what "im supposed to do", usually for punishment... Yeah, im complicated and Im sure thats why the young adults coming out of the still running cult that used to be called Children Of God, now called The Family ends up comiting suicide; one member murder suicide tho ive never wanted to hurt anyone but myself....cult survivors have soooo much to deal with in addition to the abuse. My main issue, seeing what my therapist calls brainwashing as not reality but a false reality but i believe it all like you believe the sky is blue and changing that seems so impossible.....

 

[lostforgottensoul]

hi
welcome to the forum, firstly " what is normal ? " I certainly am not normal thank goodness ! I have th...

Not sure i want to be mindful of what runs thru my mind a thousand miles an hour. No, meditation is impossible for me, i cant shut up my head...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Sorry for all the typos, in addition to dyslexia im also on my phone when im on this site, only place 100% private and always with me. I dont know why i dont turn the phone sideways for a bigger keyboard, maybe i feel like im reaching too much, but im always having to edit miss hits on keys next to the keys i wanted lol

 

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

I totally understand. Like my therapist says, one thing that works for one person doesn't nessasaily work for the next.

Just throwing out some ideas of what helped me. You can cross those off. Luckily there are many suggestions out there

 

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

For a very long time I could not be my own head. I drowned out everything with work, TV, puzzle games all sometimes all at the same time.

Then I went camping once. And haD no choice but to be in my head. It was extremely uncomfortable. Painful is not a strong enough word but honestly I feel like the nature helped me.

Now when it gets too much I shut it all down and go in nature.

Never thought it would have worked or it would be possible.

I do beleive that you have to do things on your own clock. Do what works for you.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

For a very long time I could not be my own head. I drowned out everything with work, TV, puz...

My therapist says the same thing "nature heals" and I never understood what he meant until I saw the Super Soul Sunday with the guy, cant remember his name, that does timed photography videos, watch8ng flowers open, the vines climing the tree, the stars moving as the earth moves, light moving inside of a caven, and slowing down the wings of a humming bird, even watching mushrooms sprout...it was the most beautiful capivating thing and as long as i have no way to "end it all", n9 drugs or way of getting them and no sharp objects to cut, i might be able to once my pain dr levels my pain pump to a point where i can take my dog to a near by park even for a short time, its just across the street a few blocks butive never been able to push myself that far due to phsyical pain but im hoping this pain pump decreses that some. Im still sleeping in a recliner but in hoping to be able to ride a bike again, something i havent been able to do for 7 yrs, almost as the accident was march '09. My dog is allergic to grass when when i run him (throwing his fav toy for 15 mins) he breaks out in red hives on his belly and nothing helps it but to keep him out of grass as much as possible but if i can ride a bike i can run him on pavement. I dont know if i would be able to handle it. I tried to sit alone in a quiet house and ended up grabbing my box cutter and cutting "down there". I cant stand that i hear my mom's voice in my head or AND REALLY CANT STAND that thinking about the "gentle" sex my step dad had with me actually brings comfort at night. Makes me sick and I just have to dish out the punishment. Its like these rituals have me locked in a prison and my therpist found this site by googling "PTSD control"....he says i control them now and if i let them go i feel like everything will fall apart. I dont know. I just so miss my brother, i just so wish i could be invited to family functions. My cousin by marriage is a pastor, he was trying to help me understand all this "god" stuff and i told h8m i was having thoughts of coming on to him cuz thats what im supposed to do, i dont want to and they are intrusive and i thought i could trust him enough to, even if he told me i crossed a line, to keep it to himself or between him and my cousin his wife but no, within 15 mins, 20 people in the family knew and said i came on to him when i didnt and now im branded the weirdo, the person no one wants to be around. No one hets it but my therapist, i dont want to come on to everyone that helps me but its what my brain says im supposed to and women terrify me (probably due to my mom) so thats were attachment disorder comes in. Borderline Personality Disorder isnt fun either and feeling every single emotion in the most extreme, theres no middle ground and its so many emotions. Some parts of DID in there without actually having DID. I have several "personalities" but im aware they are there and none of them really "take over", i jusy sorta morph from one to the other as the day goes on but at night is when my "little girl" personality comes out and when most of the wmotions are felt. In the day i numb them as much as i can to get thru the day and be able to work. Im sorry, did t mean to ramble. Sleeping meds and the one anxiety med i take at night are starting to kick in...