I'm dating a much older man: it seems like a really decent relationship but i don't expect to last

[foreveralone2099]

And how are your going to emotionally handle the day when he cheats on you for another woman? You deserve an honest and upfront relationship.

it's up front and honest with me. i don't ask if he sleeps with someone else, just that he doesn't give me any bugs. he might be f*cking the woman he's living with but i highly doubt it, and i'm not bothered either way.

A true mentor does not crawl in bed with his mentoree.

it actually seems like the ideal starting point for a really decent relationship as the communication is already there. the sex is just for fun.

 

[Gs172003]

nope, he was entirely clear with me going into it. it would be a casual encounter and would n...

So he's leaving an abused woman FOR an abused woman and you don't see a problem here? Oh wait he's not. Yes cheating on....

 

[Gs172003]

He's not yes

 

[Ronin]

he girlfriend is a domestic violence survivor who is too dependent to manage on her own or so he feels.

So you're happy treating another DV survivor - who is very bad off and without stable living conditions and situations, as trash, and be basically complicit in her ongoing abuse?

For a cheap f*ck???

Girl, that isn't a noble savior knight in the shining armor you want him to be.

 

[Deleted member 541]

^^^^^^^. 100,000,000 likes @Ronin.

@foreveralone2099 you have some seriously skewed thinking about yourself. Basically you have no self esteem, self respect and you basically are slutting yourself out for the sake of being with someone....

 

[foreveralone2099]

^^^^^^^. 100,000,000 likes @Ronin.

@foreveralone2099 you have some seriously skewed thinking about yourself. Basically you have no self esteem, self respect and you basically are slutting yourself out for the sake of being with someone....

maybe but it doesn't mean anything to me. the sex feels good and the relationship isn't hurting me. i can't control other people's behavior and it's not my job to tell them what to do.

applying meaning to the situation is beside the point. ideals such as fidelity and commitment are just spooks imo.

So you're happy treating another DV survivor - who is very bad off and without stable living conditions and situations, as trash, and be basically complicit in her ongoing abuse?

i hate to say this but she's one of those people who was likely complicit in her own abuse, she had choices at certain points and did not learn to develop initiative. i left my abusers, she did not. i try to change so i will not be unhappy and unfulfilled when i reach middle age, she does not.

 

[Deleted member 541]

You are STILL with an abuser, you just won’t see it. The relationship IS hurting you, just wait and you’ll know.

 

[Gs172003]

maybe but it doesn't mean anything to me. the sex feels good and the relationship isn't hurti...

Wow. Just. Wow.

That's some seriously messed up stuff right there.

 

[Ronin]

who was likely complicit in her own abuse

Oh haven't we all heard that at some point or the other.

Don't you even try victim blame her and shame her in order to feel alright with what you & her current boyfriend are still doing.

 

[foreveralone2099]

Oh haven't we all heard that at some point or the other.

Don't you even try victim blame her and shame her in order to feel alright with what you & her current boyfriend are still doing.

DV victims are frequently gaslighted but there's always a point where you can exercise free will. I learned not to be a masochist. It's not my job to tell men to be loyal to their partners. That's not my responsibility.

 

[Justmehere]

It’s heartbreaking to see how badly you think of yourself and others. Do you blame yourself for the abuse you suffered as well?

Are you in therapy? If not, what’s holding you back?

 

[Gs172003]

Oh haven't we all heard that at some point or the other.

Don't you even try victim blame her and s...

Even worse coming from somebody that claims THEY were abused. You should know better.