Sexual Assault I'm Doubting Myself

[Matilda]

So a few months ago when I had to file a police report on what happened several years ago, the detective asked if I had been raped, and I said no, that it was just one time assault. That was it (I've always diminished the significance of events that happen to me, I think it's my way of coping). He then asked a few more questions which I quickly answered without thinking. And everything was put down in the file and put away in case I ever decided to reopen the case.
So I'm taking a college class and the lecture yesterday brought up the definition of rape in america. "Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vaginal or an us with any body part or object...without the consent of the victim".
Since then I've been incredibly confused and panicky. I can't really remember well anymore but there may have been slight Penetration (he had been fondling me). And according to this definition, then I'm considered a victim of rape.
I don't know why, but I feel like it changes everything. I mean, the memory doesn't change but it's just that one word.
I'm sorry, some of you may think this is a bit of a dramatic post and I know many have been through way worse situations but I don't have anyone to talk to. Was I raped or...

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The legal definition of rape is different than the definition you are given in college classrooms. I will say that.... According to the law I was not raped but it was the same effect. I wouldn't focus so much on the definition of the word, as it may drive you crazy to figure out was it or wasn't it? I think that its good to accept that an assault did in fact happen, and that you are moving forward.

 

[Matilda]

This is the new legal definition as of 2013, at least in my state. For me, it's important specifically if I ever do decide to reopen the case or not

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You can always go back and tell them you want to update the file as you were unaware of the legal definition of rape. Then again, if he did not penetrate you, then it could end up being a false accusation which blows up in your face. At most you might want to say "possible penetration".

Sorry, your OP states the definition for rape in America, and it is a state matter, not a federal matter, so it can indeed differ from state to state, so that's why I responded the way that I did.

 

[RussH]

If you are unable to remember if there was any penetration, thus unable to claim rape, then, at the very least, you should be able to charge sexual assault if you so choose.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I know how you feel. I have struggled for years to accept that I was raped and to take myself seriously in how I feel because of it. I still am sometimes. I told myself it was my fault, that I was overreacting, that I should have done something.. etc. etc.
It's hard to take yourself seriously, because in a way, that makes what happened all the more real. You can no longer tell yourself it wasn't that bad, because really listening to yourself would mean admitting that it was. It means that you can't sweep it under the rug and try to forget all about it.

Whether or not what happened to you falls under the definition of rape, you deserve to take yourself seriously. The only person(s) to blame is whoever did this to you. And you would be right to report them if you want to.

If you want to talk, feel free to message me any time.

:hug:

 

[Lucycat]

It is very poor interviewing technique for the officer to ask you if you were raped. He should have asked for detail of what happened and then with his knowledge of the law he should have determined if that was raped.

I wonder how he would have taken the information from a five year old. He should ask you as a vulnerable person in pretty much the same terms; specific details of what the assault entailed.

I am sorry that you have been through this. It sounds like events have triggered you and the intrusive thoughts are a problem. Perhaps there is a counsellor available through your college?