I'm Here Because I Have Been There...

[ptsdsolution]

Hi everybody, some of you may have seen some of my post replies and think I am too happy to have anything wrong with me! It has taken me a long time, over 5 yrs to be more accurate to get me here. We all suffer and some, including myself kept it hidden for years and unfortunately the longer it goes on, people assume you are ok and even when life seems good, it is deemed the problem is solved but it really hasn't. I see myself like an onion. I have so many layers and peeling off each one was tearful and stung-strange comparison I know!

Looking back I did bring everything on me. I was stupid, naieve, and thought everybody was good! How stupid and over simplistic I was! I has a husband and 2 very young kids when to put it politely a very evil but powerful person came into my life and tried to take away everything that was precious to me. I was vulnerable with 2 young kids one of which was a few months old, recovering from surgery and mentally not in a good place. This person exploited my vulnerability which left me in a state that I feared the doorbell incase some one was going to take away my kids. I had to undergo evaluations as did my husband. These has to wait till he was well enough to recover from tosic septacemia! I am looking back now and to be honest the only thing that kept me going was by me telling myself "they are trying to break me, if they do, they will feel justified in their actions, i won't go down without a fight and somehow I battled through, depression, acute anxiety, insomnia, anger, flashbacks, insecurity the works. Sorry I I have offended anyone here. I have come out the other side through prayer, meditation, trusting the universe, letting go, giving to others, expressing gratitude and becoming more compassionate. If I can help even one person I make no apology for that. I hope this gives you some insight into me .

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm sorry, but from what you've said here, there is no clarity.

I accept that many people with PTSD come here and can't articulate what they've been through and what they're going through. That's ok, it's accepted and appreciated and understood. This is a forum for people with PTSD or dealing with those with PTSD and some who haven't yet got a diagnosis, but need somewhere to turn.

The reason that people have picked something strange up enough to ask you if you have PTSD, is because your replies to some threads show quite a big gap in understanding the nature of PTSD. They are not showing understanding or compassion, even if they show a desire to be that understanding/compassionate person. That's why people have questioned you.

I have a great deal of understanding of spirituality, I was abused by so called zen like people and I've also found healing in my personal spirituality. But I understand trauma and PTSD also, and I would ask (personally) please be here to heal yourself, and in doing so, others might take some inspiration from you. Please don't be here because you think you've seen it all, been through it all and have come out the other side with the purpose of helping others. Because you can only ever understand what you've been through yourself.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

I still cannot speak about my second trauma, although I have more or less come to terms with the first and will often make a joke about it (I use humour as a defense mechanism sometimes, because its easier to deal with at that level, but again only to people who know about it.) Even my best friend and business partner doesn't know about the second one. To the best of my knowledge she doesn't even know there was a second one, and I am not sure I will ever be ready to tell anyone, even myself. But she is there on the other end of the phone when I am having a panic attack, as I am about to now, and just talks to be about meaningless, witty bits of stories until I feel it subsiding. No matter how long ago the traumas, you never, ever get over them, or the effects.

I am stronger now, most days, but not all, and no one with PTSD can ever say that they have come out the other side. They just have more good days than bad ones - a least for a while.

 

[ptsdsolution]

Yes maybe I'm just blocking out the bad stuff and trying to get on with things to the best I can. Alot of people rely on me so I must hold it together.

 

[bell]

I think you've also encountered what you have in part due to your username, as sometimes people come on here only to try and sell their "solution to PTSD," not to help others. And since there is no "cure," those people smack of trolling and snake oil.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

No, it's not that we think you're too happy. It's that you lack an understanding of what PTSD is from a sufferer's perspective and this is evident in your replies to us.

You can't self diagnose PTSD and I think I'm a bit perplexed as to how you came upon this self-diagnosis. It is easy to incorrectly self-diagnose and then say "I'm cured" when the truth is that perhaps you never had the disorder in the first place. I think that your symptoms point to perhaps another disorder, but not PTSD, as you state that you simply held it all together. I sort of find this insulting in that I think every sufferer who has been diagnosed has had a point where they simply could not hold it together anymore. (As in, when didn't have a choice.)

 

[Justmehere]

Hi everybody, some of you may have seen some of my post replies and think I am too happy to have anything wrong with me!

Maybe others think you are too happy to have something wrong with you. To me, and this is just my perspective, you don't seem happy.

You come across like you are in denial, like you are holding up walls, and are quick to offer sunshine rather than sit with the darkness that people are struggling with here.

I could be TOTALLY wrong about how you actually are, but if you want to know how you come across to me, as just one person on this forum, you don't come across to me as the well put together person you seem to be trying so hard to convince us that you are.

Looking back I did bring everything on me. I was stupid, naieve, and thought everybody was good! How stupid and over simplistic I was!

Can you clarify this? I'm not sure I understand how you brought everything on you. What did you bring on you?

Sorry I I have offended anyone here. I have come out the other side through prayer, meditation, trusting the universe, letting go, giving to others, expressing gratitude and becoming more compassionate. If I can help even one person I make no apology for that. I hope this gives you some insight into me .

This comes across as confusing and a little backhanded.... You are basically saying, I'm sorry if I have offended you... I'm not going to apologize for helping people. Huh?

I would be surprised if anyone was asking for an apology for someone being helpful.

I'm apprehensive around people who come across as feeling like they have everything figured out and have all the solutions. You come across as someone who maybe needs a very positive exterior maybe because you feel like you can't let any of the walls fall because you are scared you won't be able to care for the people who depend on you. For what it's worth, you don't have to keep it all together here too.

Just some thoughts.

 

[Sally sue]

I have to agree that your name "ptsd solutions" is a little off-putting.

Maybe I've missed something, but are you here looking for support and understanding? I can't image hanging on this site if I wasn't ...hum...well, all messed up ha, looking for answers, a sense of normalcy, and understanding from people who get it.

 

[Hashi]

From a different thread:

have you been diagnosed with PTSD by a medical professional in the field of psychiatry?

@Meadowsweet I never went to the doctor!

So you self-diagnosed. You might not have had PTSD.

No matter how long ago the traumas, you never, ever get over them, or the effects... no one with PTSD can ever say that they have come out the other side.

I have to say that different people have different views on this. That's for another discussion, and there are a few threads related to that topic. However, I definitely don't think you can say you have come out of the other side of PTSD if you haven't been diagnosed with it.

I could say I healed myself of a brain tumour and wanted to encourage other people with brain tumours. But I wonder how they'd receive that if I had never gone to a doctor and got a diagnosis for those terrible headaches I was having.

I have come out the other side through prayer, meditation, trusting the universe, letting go, giving to others, expressing gratitude and becoming more compassionate.

This is a statement that doesn't seem to fit with the experience of healing from PTSD. I have a metaphysical approach to healing, and I don't believe that these sorts of nice things alone can bring us out the other side of PTSD and trauma. Going through a lot of darkness - carefully, and as safely as we can - is also needed. Plus some very down-to-earth work on ourselves as well.

Perhaps you've made a false start here on the forum.

I'm sure you mean well by joining. At the same time, I think you need to be sensitive to other members here and the purpose of the site. You have self-diagnosed, which isn't accepted as valid. You seem to see yourself as a kind of benefactor, which feels very uncomfortable to me. You may not have intended this, but you have also given yourself a username which is provocative on a site like this.

I'm still uncertain whether you have/have had PTSD. The things you say just don't resonate with me, in terms of either PTSD or healing.

Perhaps you're in denial about your experiences and their effects on you. If you're now thinking you might still be affected, then I think you really need to see a qualified professional. Only they can assess whether you have PTSD or not. They can guide you to the most appropriate treatment for whatever your diagnosis is.

There is also a sister forum [DLMURL]http://www.mytraumaticstress.com/[/DLMURL] which is for all trauma types, with or without specific diagnosis.