I'm In Love Have Ptsd And Can't Speak

[whserenitynluv]

I have no problem speaking to anyone in this world, on a short term friendly basis. I can meet people, I can be okay around people. The problem I am having is the fact I am in love with someone and cannot communicate it to them. Any suggestions?

 

[james Rinaldi]

take it slow.does he know this? maybe ask him out on a date.see where it leads. go with your gut . not just your heart. that is my opinion :regards JR

 

[whserenitynluv]

I am pretty sure that he does actually. But he thinks I'm weird. He said so one day when I was quiet and trying to pull my tounge out to speak.... It s so frustrating. I have seemed to lost the opportunity with him, and want to make sure this doesn't continue. Because of my ptsd and the past, I have never been in love to a technical standpoint of limitations. Now that I've learned and continue to learn I'm ready, have you ever experienced this before?

 

[littlestars]

Try pretending you've known them for a while and it might be easier to speak to them. I did that with the relationship I'm in now. That was over two years ago. When I first met my boyfriend, I just kinda forced myself to put my shields down. I felt comfortable around him - he was okay... but I knew it was me with the issue. I was really just uncomfortable with myself because I liked him so much. Honestly, I just tried to keep relaxed the best I could and pretended I knew him (like when I spoke to him I pretended I was talking to a friend or relative I was comfortable with)... and it kind of just worked out. I also kind of opened up a little with him about me being shy and how I am with other people. It's really good and amazing to be honest with people... especially when you first meet, but you don't have to tell them everything or go into a long explanation about yourself. Also, you can put on an "act" while being honest and completely yourself.
I'm sorry about what happened with the tongue thing. Maybe make a joke about it? Kind of roll it off somehow? My boyfriend used to say I was weird when we first met, but I just kinda giggled because I thought that was funny and I just told him, "Yeah, but I'm not the 'bad' kind of weird."

Good luck to you! :hug:

 

[whserenitynluv]

Thank you, yes it was kinda deliberate with other things, so with that said I should take your advice for the future, it was more than just a little joke, and I guess I did try to express myself in a way unheard of really lol. But it failed, and that's ok, it bites but I feel like the only way to future position myself into a love situation with someone who doesn't think I'm weird lol I think I would have resolved it by now but it's a tad bit more complicated than a giggly joke. :/

Doh!

And that - unlike I've ever experienced is still in my head.... Wth?

James , you don't know how many times I have said that simplest little thing, rather seen it over a hundred along with the Capitol letters of coward. Problem is the blockade ...

 

[joeylittle]

And that - unlike I've ever experienced is still in my head.... Wth?

I'm not sure what this means, can you explain it more?

 

[whserenitynluv]

Slow is great, best..actually. It isn't like an obsession per say, it just is and won't go away. Every time I go walk down the road something is right there reminding me of it again.

I'm just saying that I have noticed myself in the past and current situations that when it comes to allowing myself to be loved I take a fast track down the road and this time around it has ne researching and learning on how I can get this fixed in myself

 

[joeylittle]

Ah, I understand now, thank you.

Speaking as a staff member for a moment, you might not know that you have 1 hour after posting to edit your posts; and that includes being able to add to them. Instead of having to start a new post every time, you have the option to add on to the one you most recently made. It's a helpful tool when you realize you want to add something else, expand your thought, etc.

And welcome to the forum!

 

[bell]

It's always nerve wracking when you care about someone and don't know if they feel the same way, so don't beat yourself up about that.

And don't get too carried away with the "love" part yet, as that's not based on reality yet, only expectations and fantasy, which can run you ragged.

 

[whserenitynluv]

"It's always nerve wracking when you care about someone and don't know if they feel the same way, so don't beat yourself up about that.

And don't get too carried away with the "love" part yet, as that's not based on reality yet, only expectations and fantasy, which can run you ragged."

It isn't about running myself ragged, rather than the fear kicks in and stops the ability. This is the issue, I've been told in every relationship I've been in that I won't let them in. And because of this newness, it is important for me to overcome that time send place, do you have any suggestions? I liked what was said above about knowing it is me and letting the walks go with that in mind there is no fear. My way of before is literally to avoid this love in every way, doesn't make sence, thank you for the feedback:)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you explain how you don't let them in?

 

[whserenitynluv]

Because of my past experiences, I have recently learned that I had kept a wall up. Well, I knew the wall was there, but it wasn't until recently that I was willing to take all the masks off and become vulnerable to deep bonding. For me it was always a side crutch, like adrenaline, or distraction, or medication. It's taken years to get to this point, and it wasn't me who made me aware of it either. For the first time, besides my children and animaIs had experienced unconditional love and that moved mountains. Unleashing all kinds of havoc, although I was filled with emense happiness, my unknowing how to express myself now owe an amends for.at the time it was the only way I knew how, and lost one of the most amazing friendships In my life, and not only that friendship.... Every friendship basically

In my relationships, they were fast and uncalculated most of the time. I haven't had a huge amount of relationships per say, but the ones I chose were unhealthy, and so it goes. My last relationship was also very unhealthy. I hit bottom with it all, spiritually ,physically, and emotionally, but the most awesome part is the awareness to change didn't come from my ideas, because my ideas never worked. It came from others who love me, healthy ways. It showed me patience, love and acceptance from afar actually.

I would start off with the same dance l had grooved into stone on coping with situations rather than taking it slow and steadily loving unconditionally. Like I said before, fast and furious. Or the partners I chose were very aggressive or had severe codependency issues or characteristics which are now triggers for me.

Anyway as things went on, probably within the first couple of months or so I found myself doing the same flight response, in words or running in general, which hurt people. In no way am I saying that I was ever ok with some situations of abuse on me because that would be denial, but in order to grow, identifying patterns and behaviors was the first step in changing me, not only for me.

I have always said I have never been in complete love, and that's the truth... Until recently, when love was in my face, that was the day I saw who I wanted to be, and it changed me somehow

I would run in every way I knew how, and be callous and insensitive as well, and have huge remorse for and regret, the worse regret I've ever felt , And I wouldn't express my love. This is why I'm here to get help from friends who understand and can maybe relate, because ill do whatever it takes to change .

Can you relate..?