I'm Lost And Don't Know Where To Start.

[AlterEgo]

This is my first time posting on here so bare with me. I was in law enforcement for 14 years. The first 8 or 9 years were great, it was exactly what I wanted my whole life. In 2004, I was involved in a shooting, wherein the suspect was shot killed. I did not shoot him but my best friend did, while 2 of us were fighting with the guy and he tried to stab us (long story). The administration had us go through a one hour "therapy session" in front several people. Nothing else was offered. The incident really didn't seem to bother me until I began having a hard time qualifying with firearms because I would flinch so bad when someone next to me shot.

After burrying that and several other things, jump ahead to about 2 years ago. Being a supervisor I got called out on bad incidents all the time. This one morning at 3:00 am I got called out because one of our deputies initiated a high speed chase with a motorcycle. The chase ended with the motorcycle wrecking, killing the driver and passengerr. When I arrived, I discovered that the driver was a very good friend I have known all my life. I sucked it up and did what I had too. A senior supervisor arrived and told me I had to walk the scene with him to make sure nothing was missed. Knowing full well, the person killed was my friend, he insisted I do my job, which I did.

It seems from that point on everything began effecting me more and more. I found myself getting emotional

 

[safenow]

Hi AlterEgo,

Sorry for all that crap. It really sucks. Some things just are too hard to handle. Sometimes, we need someone to talk to outside the job. I do hope you found someone. If not, I recommend you start looking for a good trauma therapist.

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. You will find a lot of good, caring people here. We also have a number of law enforcement people as well. Take your time, and look around. There is a lot of great information here.

Safenow

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm truly sorry for the sorrow and pain you have felt. I'm grateful you were willing to do such a difficult and challenging job for as long as you did/have done.

This will be a process of adjusting. Good luck

 

[xena21]

I feel for you you. i was law enforcement myself. I had to medically retire a few years ago. I can't say I saw exactly what you did, but I just want you to know that others support you here and everyone has stories that can help in some way. Or at least they have a good ear to listen and know that you might just need to talk about something that nobody else could really understand. Believe me, you have seen things that people normally don't see or don't experience on a daily basis, and just explaining things helps get things out there. I wish you the best, and stay strong.