• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

I'm old/ my life is basically over

Status
Not open for further replies.
This is a really hard one for me, because whilst I’m a bit younger than you?

I’m too old to work in my favorite careers, & too old / broke / broken / in too much pain …to do any of the things that I love, and most of the things I like.

So there’s a lot of fact, in there. Like the cut off age being 32. Or needing to be physically fit. Or have money.

I’ve lost everything too many times, and each time I do I start off worse.

Pretty much the only thing that helps is knowing it could be worse. That gets me out of the myopic of what I can’t do, and puts my brain to work thinking about what I could do if things were totally f*cked in a different way. Like instead of losing years to being sick/injured, or to being stalked, they were years lost to being in prison. So in addition to lost years of my life in the past, I’d now have to be working around a felony record. Or paralyzed with a broken neck, instead of just 2 dislocated vertebrae in my neck. Or whatever. Take whatever it is that I’ve lost or that I’m dealing with… and make it worse. Because things can alwaaaaays be worse. Still lost years, loves, opportunities, ambitions, etc., but with different & greater difficulties attached.

Because when I’m stuck in where I’m ACTUALLY at? There’s too much pain. But if I can think of things I could still do if things were worse? I know there are -probably- still things I can do now.
 
Last edited:
I'm 52 years old and I'm going to grad school with a bunch of whippersnappers literally young enough to be my kids. While it would have been a lot easier just not to and to try to do only easy things for the rest of my life, I knew I had to at least make an attempt to do this.

Do I feel incredibly old every time I go to class? Yes. Are there huge advantages to being the oldest person in my classes (usually including the instructor)? Also yes - life experience counts for a lot.

How can you make your age work for you and not against you?
 
True story - after getting my 4 year degree, marrying, and having a shortish career in my chose field, I then spent the next season of my life birthing and raising 3 kids and being a stay at home mom. When it was time to return to work, I decided on a new career and, like you, became the old lady attending classes with a bunch of teeny boppers...until I was hospitalized for nonstop puking. Yep, surprise! Baby #4. That second career never happened.
 
I know "old" is relative... for an 18 year old, someone who's 30 seems OLD and if you're 60, then someone who's 30 is YOUNG.

I'm turning 46 next week and I never worried about age/ feeling old for most of my life, but these last few years, where I've had major depression for the first time in my life, I feel so OLD. I feel like my life is "basically over" and that if my life were a movie, then all that's left is tying up some lose plot ends and then the credits and THE END.

I feel like this is a dumb belief (part of my brain knows it's rubbish) but I'm so convinced it's true that it just feels like an irrefutable truth that is unchangeable.

It's certainly contributing to my depression and vice versa.
im turning 40 this year and i can relate to how you feel. Getting old is hard on both physical and emotional level.. I would say especially for women but then I think men take it hard too.. (I read somewhere that Prince William is upset when Prince Harry brought up issue about his thinning hair is ahead of Harry).

Also, depression makes it harder. I had depression 5-6years ago. It was tough. Tough actually is understatement. It was painful beyond words. Do you have anyone to talk to? A support system like family member or a close friend? For me, my sister was my greatest support system. she encouraged me to seek a professional help. I went to see psychologist until I got better.
 
I struggle every day with the "I'm too old" litany. I'll be 62 in April, and I feel like I've lost the ability to do ANYTHING I want to do. It really feeds my depression, but I've not found a way out of it yet.

One thing I notice--which helps the idea of being old but doesn't do a dang thing for the stuff I really can't do--is that I'm sooo much smarter about things spiritually. My view of the world is sooo different now, and I'm definitely richer for that.
 
Depression is soul sucking and in depths of it when I was 49, I executed a suicide plan and fortunately my daughter saw the signs and had the police stop me. Fast forward and when I was 51 I was diagnosed with a terminal cancer, a shift happened inside and I wanted, really wanted to fight it and live. Fast forward to the past year and I came out of remission and there were a few times this summer there were real doubts that I would make it. Thing is I always have had the fight and its been in overdrive for the past decade. So in January, a new remission was achieved, and the damage is there, but I am living with my limits and always pushing it.

I'm 62 and don't really consider myself old. Each day is a gift and an opportunity, only now I can actually think about the summer, next Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Getting time with my husband, children, grandchildren, extended family and friends is what I live for. Also am working with my husband in developing our second business location and possibly doing some presentations for other cancer patients and in the not to far future, participating in Live Strong again.

No everything is not sunshine and rainbows and there are days after the chemo infusions it kicks my butt, but I kick back. Get your depression treated, and go back to basics as far as eating regularly, moderate exercise, get outside whenever you can, lots of water, a good sleep schedule and start adding in the things you enjoy. I LOVE dogs and when I was really low, not only did my own brighten my day, but I loved walking dogs and playing with puppies at the local humane society. I Love Lucy reruns would make me smile, a good novel, birds at the feeder, sunrises, sunset, etc. I just mad it a point to live each of the moments I could and be in the moment.

One thing I've learned is that depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. are disease no different than my cancer. They need treatment and without that we are robbed of life. I'm not so focused on my birth or my death, but the dash inbetween. I am hoping it is a longer dash, but damn in the mean time, I going to get as much out of it as I can.

Hope this helps and remember on this site we take what applies and leave the rest. Wishing you much peace and some really nice moments in each day. Sometimes its just baby steps.
 
But if I can think of things I could still do if things were worse? I know there are -probably- still things I can do now.
I never understood how the “could be worse” mentality is helpful for people but the way you described it I do now!
 
Get your depression treated, and go back to basics as far as eating regularly, moderate exercise, get outside whenever you can, lots of water, a good sleep schedule and start adding in the things you enjoy.
Treatment can be a sticky thing. I do all of these things, and I feel like I've exhausted all the treatment that feels safe or is financially feasible. I am not suicidal anymore, but I can totally identify with being miserable.
I Love Lucy reruns would make me smile, a good novel, birds at the feeder, sunrises, sunset, etc. I just mad it a point to live each of the moments I could and be in the moment.
Mine was Andy Griffith, although I like I Love Lucy, too. And Big Bang Theory. For me, none of it stirs me anymore.
They need treatment and without that we are robbed of life.
True. And unfortunately, treatment doesn't always work or isn't always accessible to everyone.

Just my own out-loud thinking.
 
I don't relate to the 'age' part exactly, but more so to @Friday 's post":

I’m too old to work in my favorite careers, & too old / broke / broken / in too much pain …to do any of the things that I love, and most of the things I like.

So there’s a lot of fact, in there. Like the cut off age being 32. Or needing to be physically fit. Or have money.

I’ve lost everything too many times, and each time I do I start off worse.


My body and choices (mentally, physically, spiritually) are profoundly impacted compared to my younger self. However I know how bad it can get- really bad it can get, at any age. I have also outlived much of my family. Yet, oddly to me, I was called beautiful several times today, and this dinosaur is 54! 🤣

That being said, much as I feel I have no future- the bigger part of what can be behind aging concerns- I really don't want to be who I was younger in the non-physical ways, and I wouldn't choose to switch for the sake of it. I have no idea why I am here. But as @whiteraven said, spiritually also, but just in the way I view the world, people, life itself, is very different. It's something much different than what I thought life was about, or even 'how' it is done. But in a better way.

I just remembered that I also used to have a note on my fridge saying "Life is short but it is wide".

I know of a similar Mexican one, ~"Life may be short but it can be wide". Meaning a whole lot of living in a shorter time than average. This has been my family's experience, and I hope in a small way I can't figure out yet mine can be also.

I hope it's ok to add something (for @whiteraven especially also), because it's why I came to this thread but I don't want to go too off-topic, but possibly as per treatment-resitant-appearing depression: (Thank you.)


PS- (Physically) I like to say the glue is falling out, or the gum. 🤣 Or like my mom said, "My wrinkles?- I've earned every one of them!" 😊 lol.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY soon @Ecdysis !! 😊💙❤️🥳
 
Last edited:
I had a kind of interesting thought on this core belief today...
This whole ageing theme has been so central to how I've been feeling lately...
Part of it is biological, I think... Entering menopause, feeling like I'm entering the "autumn/ fall" of my life...
Thinking that historically, if I'd lived in an earlier period than now, I'd statistically already be dead at 46.
And that it's only our modern way of life, modern medicine, etc, that's keeping me alive...
It's felt like if nature had it's way, then I'd not be around much longer...
And so far, that's been fuelling my depression, this sense of "life is basically over"...

But somehow, it made me smile today... The realisation that, in a historical/ natural context, every year from here on in, is a bonus.
I'm living longer than evolution ever intended me to.
Suddenly, that feels kind of thrilling.
Like a blank canvas, that I get to fill, with whatever I choose.
Because my biological/ evolutionary/ historical lifespan is "done".
Everything from here on in is borrowed time...
Each day from here on in is a gift and a grand experiment, in which I can try whatever I want.
I'm no longer bound by life's traditional rules, because I've outlived that span of my life in which they were relevant.
I get to make up my own rules from here on in.
This can be the biggest adventure, if I choose it to be.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top