I'm Scared- Recently Diagnosed And Feel Low

[Echo]

@indiangirl - well, you are not the odd one out here!! Use this forum to ask all the questions you have. You might want to start different threads for them if the subject matter is different.

My GP first offered me 10 counselling sessions with the practice-based counsellor. I found them really shallow and not tailored for PTSD at all. I hope your counsellor might have a little more experience. When my memories of child abuse started shooting out, she quickly signed me off, because she realised she was out of her league.

The NHS took so long to get me an appointment first with a psychiatrist and then subsequently with a psychologist (over a year in all - grrr!), that I found myself a trauma therapist. And I am so glad I did. I am a great supporter of the NHS in principle, but in this field, I must admit I don't think they are up to it at all - it was a massive time waste. My county has no provision on the NHS for trauma therapy, though I believe some counties do have it available on the NHS. I pay my therapist £45 a week.

I believe I will get much better and certainly better at managing the symptoms. It is a lot of hard work, but if it makes your life so much better then I think go for it. It really depends on you and why you have PTSD, I suppose. I have CPTSD. There is no competition; it just means we are all a little different, but essentially the work is the same.

The best thing is to stick out for the best treatment you can get. You may have to wait many months before the NHS provide you with any trauma therapy, even after you've had the appointments.

There is a massive amount of information on this website. Find out as much as you can, so you know what to ask when you see the professionals. Best of luck.

 

[Echo]

If you get really clued up about the condition show your parents the book I suggested, for instance, you can help them understand that you are not mentally ill. I know from talking to Muslim friends that some cultures worry very much about mental illness. But really, if you are likely to marry in the UK, you are likely to find greater understanding of the condition. And if you want to marry a lovely, caring man then he will be the kind of man who will be understanding and supportive of you whatever happens in life. I expect everyone in your family just said the first thing that came into their heads and panicked. They will understand more as you progress with all of this, I hope.

 

[indiangirl]

Thing i am scared about it opening up. I only ever told one friend who I've known since i was 11. She doesn't know the full of it either. The dr had asked have I gone through any abuse I said yes, he asked for details and i said its personal. Obviously he couldn't diagnose with out the info so I told him briefly. I was physically, emotional and mentally abused as a child. And I was also groomed by a peadophile. Broke down crying and felt like a vulnerable child. He was the first "adult" in that sense that I had ever told. broke me even writing this now it feels like I'm left open

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@indiangirl you are amongst many of us with CPTSD like you describe. I am a 43 yr old man with a wife and 6 children. I was really scared of opening up at first especially as I don't see my family at all now. Take this journey of recovery one steep at a time. You are in a safe place on here and you WILL meet lots of great 'Cyber-friends' 'fellow sufferers' who totally understand where you are with this condition.

 

[Echo]

You don't have to tell anyone unless you want to do so. You don't even have to tell your family what you discuss with your therapist. If you find a good therapist, s/he will teach you how to put better boundaries in place and create emotional safety in your life.

 

[indiangirl]

How do I know if I have CPTSD or just PTSD? Stupid question I know xx @laurie71

 

[scout86]

Here's the thing, you are the person you are, with the issues you have, whether you get help dealing with it or not. If I could deliver a message to the "23 year old me", it would be "Get help NOW, you actually NEED it!"

If you lose a relationship because you tell someone you have PTSD, it wasn't the right relationship to begin with. If someone has a problem with you because you have PTSD, they will have the problem whether you admit the diagnosis or not. In mostThe big difference is, by confronting it and dealing with it, you enhance the odds of a better quality of life.

I've done a lot of stupid, self destructive things in my life that I might have done better if I'd realized I needed help sooner. As far as losing a relationship goes, how about marrying a psychopath because your own sense of self worth was so screwed up you couldn't see where that would be a problem? I did, and it's not something I'd actually recommend. LOL

All in all, dealing with it is going to be better than not dealing with it. I'd be really surprised if anyone here disagreed with that. Your family might have issues for a lot of reasons. It is what it it.

Welcome to the forum and good luck in your journey!

 

[indiangirl]

@scout86 thank you. :) it means alot what you said says alot to me to. I "liked" a guy who was one who said i have alot mood swings hence i went to gp. I told him i got PTSD and his response..i shouldn't always think negative. I told one of my best friend who says no one needs to know as i will get cured.

its just knowing deep down i will never get "cured" as its not a disease its just mentally something gave for all the crap. i guess thats my way of trying to understand it i dont know

 

[Deleted member 20280]

CPTSD comes from multiple abuses by multiple abusers, not necessarily related to each other. I have CPTSD as I was abused by family members, sexually abused by a babysitter, urinated on by the local kids and beaten mercilessly by my forces sergeant. Technically single trauma results in PTSD, multiple = CPTSD. I am no expert but this is how my T described my diagnosis to me.

 

[indiangirl]

CPTSD comes from multiple abuses by multiple abusers, not necessarily related to each other. I have CPTSD as I was abused by family members, sexually abused by a babysitter, urinated on by the local kids and beaten mercilessly by my forces sergeant. Technically single trauma results in PTSD, multiple = CPTSD. I am no expert but this is how my T described my diagnosis to me.

wow. massive hugs . my dad was the one who abused me in the home.. it was a guy from outside of the home who groomed me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Your abusers haven't won. They only "win" if you just give up. I don't see you doing that.

PTSD is a condition that doesn't have a "cure" but you CAN heal and your PTSD can go into remission. That's my goal and while I'm not there yet, I'm well on my way.

If you ignore your condition and deny it for the sake of getting married, your chances of healing will be greatly diminished. This isn't something that goes away on its own and if you don't work on healing, symptoms are likely to just get worse.

Technically CPTSD doesn't exist. The DSM decided just to stick with the PTSD diagnosis and if you have significant dissociation then you get another diagnosis as well. I think the term that is used is complex trauma, which is what I have--physically, emotionally & sexually abused, all by different people at a young age.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Echo]

@Solara - in the UK CPTSD is accepted and widely used by professionals. That may not be the case elsewhere. But since indiangirl is in the UK, it is sensible that she knows the distinction as it is currently used here.