In Desperate Need Of Grounding Techniques

[Forgetful]

Hope this makes sense. I need some kind words and advice.

3 days ago I left a Facebook message to my best friend L stating I had set up Skype and would call her later. She has terminal cancer and I knew she was feeling poorly, tired of fighting it and in her words is "ready and scared".

A couple hours later she replied not to worry if she doesn't answer as she is really I'll and was being admitted to the hospital either that day or the next and she is really scared. I immediately sent her a message basically telling her how I was scared for her and I wish I could afford (financially and mentally- she lives in UK, me in USA) to be there to keep her company and hold her hand maybe it wouldn't be so scary for her. There was more all along those lines. Anyway, i didn't receive a reply.

After 30 min she still didn't reply. My head immediately went to the thought of her lying dead in front of her computer. I literally stared at my phone hoping for a reply for the next 6 hours. I couldn't do anything else I disacciated alot. I sent her a message saying I hope I didn't upset her, what picture was in my head and PLEASE talk to me so I know she's alright and apologize if I upset her.

Long story short she called me later that night saying she was OK and no I didn't upset her. I felt better but now 3 days later I'm still disacciating alot, my body movements (similar to tics) are still on hyper drive (they increase when under stress), I'm exhausted. Nobody in my support system including me can understand why I'm still feeling this way 3 days after she said she's ok. She would understand (she's undiagnosed PTSD) but I have no way to contact her in the hospital.

Help please

 

[lux.]

I use a lot of different things for grounding. Initially I was taught more mental things like naming objects around the room, reminding myself of my name, age, the date including year, where I was, who was President. The one I felt was most helpful was naming and describing objects in detail (in my head).

Since then I've moved on to more hands-on things. It's hard to use those when you're with people because you have to take a moment out to think. When I'm in therapy or group, I usually use something tactile. Play-doh, a string of beads, and my favorite, Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty (you can find it on Amazon). There are also things called Tangles on Amazon. You focus on the feeling of it in your hand. If you're at home, you can try holding an ice cube or frozen orange smelling things like essential oils (candles are good for smells but I wouldn't recommend them; I always forget to put them out). Putting on a good-smelling lotion will both ground and soothe, as will baths with bubble bath or whatever those little dissolving smelly oil things are.

I do a lot of coloring in coloring books with colored pencils at home and in groups where it's acceptable. This is my new favorite and most effective. It requires a lot of focus, especially when the detail is very small and you have to keep in the lines. I also make friendship bracelets.

I have a hand-out of 99 grounding techniques that I got from Sheppard Pratt's trauma disorders unit. Too long to post here, but I could scan it and send it to you. Some good ones on it are:

• 5 by 5 by 5: 5 things you see, 5 you hear, 5 you can touch
• say the alphabet backwards
• feel the chair underneath you
• mindful walks--notice your surroundings, the feel of the air, the ground beneath your feet
• yoga or stretching
• drink a cold or hot beverage
• count items of the same color
• play with clay
• pet your pet

Anything that involves noticing your senses is good. You have to try different ones and see what works. It's good to have an arsenal of a few of your favorites.

Hope this helps!

 

[Forgetful]

Thank you lux for your suggestions. I just remembered that I was interrupted the other day when I was replying so I never finished. I've put your suggestions in my phone and my therapy book. I would love to have the longer list you have but I don't have enough memory space in my phone for said list. Thank you anyway. The zoning out has improved drastically for the better since yesterday. Now just dealing with the headaches, muscle aches and exhaustion after effects.

 

[lux.]

Glad to hear you're doing a little better!

 

[intheprocess]

this is a good resource: Link Removed