General In need of some advice

[StarS1]

Let me give some back story first. A few months ago my husband was diagnosed with C-PTSD, we believe it is from a great amount of bullying that he experienced in grade school through middle school. The past few days he has had some really good days. Last night he saw one of his triggers that brought back some memories. Seeing him go through this has been very difficult for me, and I try to support him in the best way I can. Sometimes it is difficult for me to process.

Last night he admitted to me that he couldn't see himself past 40. It has been very difficult for me to process since. I'm not sure what to make of it. I know that it is very common for people with C-PTSD to not be able to foresee a future. I'm trying to support him in the best way I know how. Has anyone else dealt with something simmular? If so, how did you handle it?

 

[LuckiLee]

My guy used to say that he wouldn't be on this earth very long. With therapy he now says he will live past 80yo. Woo hoo!! :)

Is your guy still in therapy?

 

[dulcia]

Mine says the same thing a lot. I don't really know how to respond, so I just say something non judgemental like, "well that would make me sad". That's something my guy needs to dig through in therapy.

 

[StarS1]

Yeah, he's still in therapy. He still has a hard time forseeing the future, it's something that will take him some time to get through in therapy. But he's doing everything he can right now, so that's all that I can really ask for.

 

[grimalkin]

When I first met my sufferer (and soon to be ex), he claimed his "doctors" told him he only had 5 years to live. But, he had no illnesses that would cause premature death (he was 38 when we met). I asked him what made them tell him that, he had no answer. He hinted at Gulf War Syndrome (which he doesn't have). That was almost 8 years ago, and while he's not physically the most healthy, he certainly isn't on his death bed, either. He's had 2 heart attacks since, a back injury (that retired him) that's caused nerve damage in his legs and feet, and has gained weight.

When we were together, he seemed to "forget" he'd said that. When I asked him about it six years later, he just kind of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and laughed and said "Welp, I guess I'll live after all." He admitted he lied about any doctor telling him he was dying.

Now that we're no longer together, while he doesn't say he has x amount to live, he's also not really planning much for the future. He is resigned to....whatever he's resigned to. Being "misunderstood" and "unaccepted" and "f*cked by his job and forced to live like this" and close to being a shut-in.

My advice? I like the "Well that would make me sad," and, if you know what his doctors have said, "Well that's not what your doctor thinks." The latter might not always be appropriate (like for mine who claimed doctors told him that), but sometimes it helps to shift thinking a teensy bit.