Sexual Assault Inappropriate Gestures By Doctor

[miss_isolated]

Something's bothering me right now. I just got back from the hospital with my mum where she had an ECG monitor fitted to her to measure her heart rate.

I came into the cubicle with her and the doctor drew the curtains. My mother lifted her top and she was wearing her bra underneath. The doctor stuck those stickers that the wires connect to on her in three places..

So she had her bra on, and she is overweight so has a cleavage. The doctor was suggesting she clip the monitor to her trousers and he proceeded to clip it on for her. Then he said the excess wires could be put somewhere and he put them into her cleavage.

Immediately this made me feel bad. I thought it was very inappropriate. I don't think it's funny at all. I was polite, faked a smile and we left, but I had rage inside of me. She agreed it was inappropriate and I asked her if she was okay after and she said yes.

I'm still annoyed and sad because the image is still fresh in my mind. I'm aware it's viewed as minor in comparison to other experiences and I'm not gonna complain or anything I just needed to vent what happened.

 

[rightkindofme]

I would call the hospital and ask to speak to a supervisor. You don't need to try and formally punish him, but it would be good for his supervisor to know that he isn't doing well at bedside manner. Those sorts of behaviors are easy to train away if a supervisor wants to do so.

It's ok to have your feelings and boundaries. You don't need to apologize. You don't need to tolerate stuff you don't like.

 

[Lucycat]

Then he said the excess wires could be put somewhere and he put them into her cleavage.

I agree this is inappropriate. He could/should have asked her to put the wires in her cleavage if that was the most appropriate place. Equally he could have made other suggestions. Doctors are notorious for poor communication and this sounds like another example of that.

I agree it should be recorded/reported to guide this doctor to act more sensitively and appropriately.

 

[miss_isolated]

Thank you for the replies. I'm scared to report it. I don't wanna kick up a fuss because these things are taken very seriously.

I'll talk to my mum about it.

 

[Lucycat]

I can understand your reluctance, and it really does need to be the right decision for you and your mother. However I think making a comment, without necessarily making it into a formal complaint can make changes happen. You could even say ' I don't want to make a fuss, and I am feeling scared about bringing this to your attention but...' They should take it seriously.

 

[cherryblossom]

As Lucy has said, I think you can word your complaint in the right way, so as not to cause a disciplinary, but to bring it their attention.

Clearly, I can't be sure, but it doesn't sound like he meant to be sexually inappropriate, but he needs to know how it has been conceived, otherwise he won't change his behaviour.

You can also look at in two ways. If he is a bad doctor, and behaves inappropriately towards women then your complaint might just add to many others to see a case brought against him. If he's a good doctor and doesn't realise how his behaviour has been conceived, then you're doing him a favour in bringing it to his attention. He will likely be devastated, but very keen to change his practice before he offends someone who does want to make a very official complaint.

I don't know if its the same where you are, but certainly in the UK, hospital websites ask for feedback, (I only know because I used such a form to commend a nurse who looked after both me, Dad and Mum, totally above and beyond her remit, when Mum had an operation). That could be a way to bring your comment to attention.

 

[miss_isolated]

I very much appreciate your help.