Initial consult triggered sh/si urges

[FauxLiz]

Thank you all for the support. @blackemerald1 I really appreciate all your encouragement. I spent today traveling and with my son. What I mean is I spent three hours traveling to where I used to live I met up with my son, worked on college financial aid stuff and then shopped for college dorm stuff. While I was there all I wanted to do was reach out to my primary therapist even though it was Sunday. I didn't do anything and just struggled with it. Then I drove the three hours to me new home. It has been 48 hours since my initial text to him and I will try again tonight plus an email I know he is not intentionally blowing me off I am just struggling and the new therapist is on vacation this week I have an appt with primary therapist on Saturday and I am spinning.

 

[FauxLiz]

I have had a chance to email back and forth a couple times with my primary therapist this week. The first response from him Tuesday morning was pretty much a life saver. Literally I had spiraled down that dark hole and was planning my end. I have stabilized and we are meeting Saturday but I am scared. I know that I was able to stabilize this week without actually seeing my T or talk to them but I wouldn't have been able to without at least email support. I know that I have to transition from my primary therapist. He doesn't do teletherapy and when my insurance changes Sept. 1 he is not part of the new carriers in-network providers and they are not accepting new behavioral health providers. I don't want to freak out again but the new T doesn't even know he caused me to have a meltdown. Why am I trying?

 

[blackemerald1]

Well thank goodness your old T responded and helped.

I think you have to be really upfront with both of these T's and let them both know how unstable you became. They may be able to work together?? As in communicate with each other... would this assist?

So you have 4 possible appointments till 1 September with the old T? Book them in and use them. You can always cancel if you do not need them. Maybe email support will be ok going forward for a while... This all should be worked through with your old T and the new T.

Remember everything is new, different and yes scary. But you are a very strong and capable person and can handle everything even when scared.

Thinking of you,
:hug: