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Insert Swearish Rant Here

For the umpteenth f**king time... I'm not an ambulance DRIVER!!!!!
In Canada, there's no such thing as an ambulance DRIVER!!!! Why? because we're highly skilled MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS!!!! Guess what, we drive AND save your life AND put up with your (you seriously called an ambulance for this?!?) bullshit!!!!

The next time you want me to hold your hand while you puke, cry, and shit yourself on my stretcher, all while smiling and telling you it's okay and totally not gross and we see this all the time, and I'm trying not to gag, but your napalm farts are fogging up the back window and smell like something that came out of a demon's ass, :hungover: and you have snotsicles hanging past your chin.... oh, and you'd like 10 of morphine 5 minutes ago but it makes you constipated so can you have the non-constipating narcotics???? And if you cough in my face one more time I swear you and the stretcher are gonna learn how to fly... OMFG don't call me an ambulance DRIVER!!!!!! or all you'll get is a driver and you can clean up your own shit and IV your own damn self and all I'll stock is f**ckng 14 gauge harpoons!!!!! I hope your favorite colour is orange!!!! and I'll bill you $500 for having to put up with you during that fancy taxi ride. I am not Mother Jugs and Speed!!!!!!

And I always laugh at your underwear afterwards :wtf: I've earned it
 
:wtf::wtf::wtf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrGGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhh :banghead::banghead::banghead:, do you REALLY need to hit the like button on every friggin' post you read and screw up recent activity??????:unsure: Sometimes it's an annoyance, here lately it was a peeve... but today? It makes me want to pull my hair out or punch somebody.
 
To the f*cking millennial douchecanoes at my local Starbucks. How the f*cking f*ck do you run out of f*cking Dark Roast?

Ok number one you're a f*cking coffee shop. You NEVER run out of coffee. Let alone your number one f*cking c*nting f*cking seller at 8am.

Number f*cking two why is your generation so f*cking stupid and lazy and arrogant? That's not a healthy combo and it's f*cking UGLY to look at. No I don't want Americano with some medium to top off it of. If so can I pay you only $2.75 of my bill with legal tender and the rest with cocksucking motherf*cking BUTTONS AND CHARM?

And f*ck your 23yo gum cracking manager who can't properly schedule you f*cking muppets so this insanely busy location has more than one f*cking person doing drivethru, till and food heating, a barista who shouldn't be allowed to leave the f*cking house without a f*cking SUPPORT STAFF, two generic knobtwirlers whose main job seems to smiling constantly and some mysterious person in the back whose shadow I see but never does anything.

If I wasn't addicted to your shit I'd piss on your f*cking pastry display.
 
Motherf*cker.

That's all that certain motherf*cker gets, through gritted teeth. (Pheew, and I'm supposed to remember how to bleed off stress. Well. I came here for f*ckin' ideas. So that's something.)
 

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