If I see ONE MORE “tactical” “recon” “mission ready” or any OTHER tacti-cool bullshit nonsense named civilian f*cking backpacks... I might just throw my tablet across the room. Or march my grumpy ass down to their stupid marketing departments and cough on them. FFS. I’m just trying to buy a motherf*cking BACKPACK. Snap a bedroll on the bottom. 2 changes of clothes, med kit, food substitute, & coffee pot inside. Poncho, flashlight, tent outside. Why the f*ck does it need to be “named” some ridiculous Rambo self important nonsensical... brick wall. Bang head. Brick wall. Bang head.
I might could deal with some Princess Snowflake nonsense name... if they weren’t all ALSO made of “look funny at from across a crowded room” and it will melt &/or rip city-people-satiny-nylon. My packs? Need to have sparks blowin against them without melting to my skin, and dumping my kit on the ground, thanks. And possess the ability to, you know, actually GO OUTSIDE. Not the atrium of a skyscraper, or waiting for an eco-conscious bus outside. But outside/outside. With rocks, and thorns, and water, and sun, and the occasional set of claws & fangs. Che chazzo vafunculo fai.