Interests Or Hobbies

[BloomInWinter]

I started going to my local game store 2x a week about 8 months ago, for card game night and board game night. It was very hard at first. I had multiple panic attacks but I just stayed in my seat, focused on the game, and did good self-soothing talk.

I couldn't absorb rules, and had to learn all games anew each week, and still do sometimes. However, it has gotten much better, and having regular gaming friends to meet has been wonderful.

I leave the traumas at the door, refusing to allow them in to disturb my game time. Whenever one intrudes, I tell the thought "nope, not now. It's game time."

There are so many wonderful games, and many who play and good people who are safe to be with. I've been enjoying life much more, and it has really helped me confront so many little traumas and the avoidances that it has greatly improved my overall functioning. So much so that my weekly 1.5 hour sessions are now just 1 hour every two weeks. I can finally see a time when I won't need therapy.

It's given my back connection to others in a safe environment. I have even made a great friend and we do lots of things together, not just games.

I've also gotten back into kiting, and made a kite club. I do demonstrations all over our area now, and have the backing of a large service organization to be able to travel with my kids and have people from their club meet me to help set-up the demos and chat with me.

I highly suggesting keeping on trying until you find something that works. It's given me the fun and safe time with others that was really necessary to move forward.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Wow @BloomInWinter, you're on your way. Happy for you! Jealous, but happy! Always happy to see progress for others. It gives me hope. I saw a board game meet up but I've never been able to play board games all my life. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD a few years and actually in an Adult ADHD book I have, that's one of the questions. Have you always been unable to play board games. All the rules are mental overload. I sure wish I could. It's embarrassing. Glad that you're recovering socially! Is there a recovery or 'steps to success' or 'stories of hope' or whatever on this site? There should be.this reply of yours is a story with hope in it.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I've always sucked at board games, or so I thought! But as it turns out, the Hypervigilence makes it hard for me to concentrate enough to absorb rules, and the blank out moments cause me to miss out on some plays throughout the game.

This still happens, but guess what? It happens to everybody sometimes. having difficulty concentrating, whether from Hypervigilence, stress, ADHD, loud noise, or stomachache. Nobody knows why, and usually they can't tell we're not listening just like everyone else unless we tell them. So, I just put on my "concentrating face" then ask questions when I need to.

When I have blank outs, I just listen and look and try to figure out where the game is. If it's my turn then I do my best and I don't worry about winning. For me it's just fun to play.

I actually win a lot more than I thought I would. I've gotten a lot better at gaming in general. I still cannot learn games by listening to the rules, but almost every game has tips and videos showing how to play it. So, I watch those when I can. I've purchased quite a few of my favorite games, and I always bring a few so if I don't feel comfortable with a group, I can suggest one of mine with someone I am comfortable.

Gamers are not the most talkative people, especially during games, and that provides me comfort. I am not someone who often likes to gab about celebrities or local gossip, and it's nice to be around more reserved types.

Before several years of therapy, I could not have accomplished this. I would be so worried about what others were possibly thinking of me. Now, I don't care. I'd be so concerned that I was the dummy at the table that I'd keep apologizing and justifying my decisions. Now, I'm not the one seeing others doing it and being grateful I finally have the self-confidence to not need constant validation from others around me.

I just go, play, and enjoy myself. I don't criticize myself for having symptoms. It's just part of me. Everyone has challenges.

I don't have to let mine stop me. Neither do any of you.

 

[RussH]

Age should not be a factor in finding a hobby, ok may rock climbing might be an issue:) but and hobby or activity can be started at any age. You don't have to be good at is, you just have to enjoy it.
I have turned in a casual interest in cooking into a bona fide hobby (gourmet), and I have taken up the guitar.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Oh, MAN, how did you find a game night? I'd LOVE that! @BloomInWinter

 

[BloomInWinter]

I was lucky that a good game store opened up in my small community. But there are also many gaming opportunities to be found from non-profits holding trivia nights, service orgs holding fun events, and I also started asking people if they liked playing games. Scheduling with others is tough, especially for parents with kids still at home, but it's well worth it.

 

[Changing4Best]

I took a self-defense course once, there was one lady who regularly took it, each time it was offered. She was in her 60s or so. She said she felt safer being in parking lots and walking home in the dark. I saw such a class offered by our local library and the one I took was for free in a local gym. I think adult school offers one too. It is kind of like a hobby, but also builds self esteem and a feeling of safety too. Skills for training. Our instructor was/is a police officer, so he had a lot of safety tips too. I was in my mid 50s when I took that course.