Internal Dialogues

[winterose]

The couple that came and looked at the house were a really nice couple. We were left with some hope and they will be calling us. They were here 2 hours. And I started feeling overwhelmed. The internal dialogue I had going on was sad but hilarious now I am looking at it after I calmed down.


It went something like this to help me stay focus and aware.

Ok, time to go now, I am done. To which I tell myself, Yes, I know people are in your space, I know this is the most social you been in awhile. I know it's hard but you have to finish this.

Ok fine so let me give you a bit of an anxiety attack since you aren't listening. Ok me, if you end up giving me an attack, the possibility of blowing this sale is there, with the possibility of this ending badly. We are almost done. You may have a break down then.

Ok, fine now I am going to get pissed because I am dealing with too much. Me: OMG will you shush up for a bit and look! No threats! We're even laughing here. They will be leaving very soon. We will explore why you're so upset after they leave.


Couple leaves happy. Now I start the eternal dialogue of what, when, how, why's. PTSD self answer to Me. I'm ignoring you. I am too tired to talk right now.:banghead:


I know this may sound like I am a fruit loop, but this is the kind of dialogue I have with myself when I am testing ptsd limits. I ended up taking a nap. Now exploring why I got so overwhelmed and what exactly was triggering me.

 

[WillyKat]

That dialog you're having is a strong sign of health. At least for me, there would have been times when there was no dialog, just the overstressing, triggers, etc.

I'd take this as good news.

 

[safenow]

Good job, winterose. I'm glad you were able to do that for yourself.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Winterrose,
I'm so thankful that you posted this. These internal dialogues are so LOUD sometimes. What's so frustrating about PTSD is that, perhaps, on the outside know one knows that all this is going on in my head, until a flashback kicks in and all semblance of outer normalcy breaks down.

Everyone has internal monologues, yes, but I'm not sure they have a large enough cast to put on a full-length opera in counterpoint verse!

:banghead: You also used one of my favorite emotion symbols.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

winterrose, you are going through a stressful time.

When we had our house up for sale I was a nervous wreck. I had so much anxiety and the inner dialog was horrendous. We finally sold our house and it all worked out in the end.

The end of the anxiety for me.

I was so happy to be free of it.

It takes alot out of you when you are selling a house, because there are so many details to be worked out.

I am rooting for you for a quick sale. Hugs.

 

[winterose]

Im glad so many understand this. I was sitting there arguing with myself after they left. I am so glad bro does his, look at me , then just walks away. Sometimes the dialogue is so loud in my head I swore I spoke aloud. Eesh. Big hugs all if safe.