Is Dissociation Universal?

[Pencil]

For all the understanding I've gained regarding dissociation, this is an experience I cannot claim to know or feel. I know others have spoken about becoming "co-aware" with their alters, over time. I wish I had a fuller understanding of this.

It is also something I became of only recently, and why I am now aware of it, I don't know. But now that I am, I can see that I've always felt it. I became aware of mine when I became more aware of a feeling that seems to be recurring - like an 'old' emotion that replays. It was when I was feeling 'that old. old' pain one day, that the snapshot appeared, that I could suddenly access that state. Perhaps it is because I 'switch' between the adult and the others (ANP and EPs) that it took me so long to become fully aware of the children. I would be interested to hear how this works for others

 

[Pencil]

None of you have Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder, but now that you know what dissociation feels like, at least you can understand a little bit what it's like for those of us who do. That gives me hope.

And this, my dear Safenow, was why I thought my accidental posting of the article on your diary, instead of over here, might show you that we have something in common. While you are further on the scale of severity, it is a similar process.

 

[Pietro]

None of you have Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder, but now that you know what dissociation feels like, at least you can understand a little bit what it's like for those of us who do. That gives me hope.

Yes, this has been one of the most profound experiences I've ever had. And, as scary as dissociation can be, to have even the slightest understanding of what MPD/DID is, and feels like, is, to me, a gift of understanding something rare and understood by few others. And it's also a gift that, now, I'm finally beginning to know myself.

Your responses, above, were comforting, because they corroborated my experience. I was really starting to think I was a little delusional, making-up things that weren't really happening. :) And everything you commented makes absolute sense.
I'm glad you got some hope from this.

In general, I really appreciate everyone's feedback. I really feel I've made some progress on this, and getting feedback from y'all helps me to know whether the things I'm experiencing should be taken seriously or not. I hope I am able to provide some similar form of support for y'all as well.

 

[Pencil]

Pietro, and I think it is clear that the answer is: No, dissociation is not universal. :) Not this kind anyway. I think the word is used to mean such a variety of things that it becomes confusing. Until very recently I thought dissociation referred to DID exclusively.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Everybody has an inner child. He/she won't come out or be seen unless its safe.

And I LOL @ those who make their inner children grow up. (Not referring to anyone here.) Talk about a real buzzkill.

 

[Pencil]

those who make their inner children grow up. (Not referring to anyone here.) Talk about a real buzzkill.

Pop psychology loves the idea of a playful inner child.

What we are referring to here are parts of the personality that become containers for trauma. These 'inner children' are severely traumatised, and live in a perpetual state of trauma. Not much buzz to kill there.

 

[Pietro]

When I first encountered the inner child concept, I thought it was silly. Eventually, I got to the point where I accepted it as a gimmick for putting a concrete wrapper around your inner feelings, to make them more accessible. I think this is generally the idea that pop psychology has, and is probably a good device in general. However, it may be that this "inner child" may not be just a gimmick after all -- that, for those suffering from any kinds of issues where an "inner child" discussion becomes important, the "inner child" may actually be a real identity within yourself, perhaps at a very minimal level.

However, with increasingly significant trauma, the "inner child" seems to take on a correspondingly increasing separation of identity. And, with multiple traumas, each seems to create its own individual identity. If the traumas are horrible enough that the mind cannot accept them -- especially true for such trauma during childhood -- it seems the mind will take these "identities" as far as it can and simply separate them off completely, in order to get as far from a trauma as possible.

And I LOL @ those who make their inner children grow up. (Not referring to anyone here.) Talk about a real buzzkill.

I used to do exactly this; took me a while to figure it out. My "child" would parent me. ;) I understand what you mean by "buzzkill", I think -- taking your child and turning it into an adult, removing all of the innocence and fun that goes with being a child from yourself. This is part of the problem -- we try to kill-off this part of ourselves for some reason. I'm still trying to figure-out why I have had such difficult experiences with my "inner child".

 

[safenow]

I'm still trying to figure-out why I have had such difficult experiences with my "inner child".

For me, the inner children can disrupt my routine.

I mean, good grief, I'm 67 years old. One would think by now I'd behave as an adult should, right? WRONG! Growing up, I never learned how an adult is suppose to behave. I sure didn't want to be like those "adults" whom were around me. The only adult human I wanted to be like was the head mistress at the orphanage. She smiles a lot. Laughed a lot. She played baseball, and went swimming, and read books, and loved children.

The only time my little seem to come out really strong is when I'm trying to deal with a lot of stress in my life. When my pain level is high, or the anxiety is off the charts, all of my littlest of the little tend to come out and try to help me cope. It was the way they lived during those first 5 years of life. It sucks big time having 24 personalities. It is hard enough when I'm just myself. DUH. I guess you could say, that is being "just" myself. sigh

 

[Deleted member 1860]

What we are referring to here are parts of the personality that become containers for trauma. These 'inner children' are severely traumatised, and live in a perpetual state of trauma. Not much buzz to kill there.

No, it's all the same. And I don't think your inner child appreciates wanting to be killed off simply because he/she was traumatized! You *heal* the inner child. If you simply make him/her grow up, that's not healing, and then you've gotten rid of a fun part of your personality. No more playing with the kids/grand kids/nieces/nephews because you killed any childlike fun inside if you in the name of healing.

I still have my inner child and no, she's not going anywhere. I've been through trauma therapy. I can't do much more to heal her, but I can do more to heal me. She's fun and innocent and knows I'd do anything to protect her.

So no, it's not some "pop" psychology concept. I learned all about inner child healing in a trauma program.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I used to do exactly this; took me a while to figure it out. My "child" would parent me. ;) I understand what you mean by "buzzkill", I think -- taking your child and turning it into an adult, removing all of the innocence and fun that goes with being a child from yourself. This is part of the problem -- we try to kill-off this part of ourselves for some reason.

Exactly.

 

[Pencil]

And I don't think your inner child appreciates wanting to be killed off simply because he/she was traumatized!

I have no desire to kill anything. I'm trying to rescue it. If she will play or grow up afterwards is anyone's guess, but I'm not sure one can force these things.

 

[safenow]

I don't think your inner child appreciates wanting to be killed off simply because he/she was traumatized!

I had a doctor recently (last year) while I was inpatient, tell me I needed to "kill off" all my alters. I turned on him. I was not nice at all. My comment to him, "Perhaps you should cut off your penis since you're old and probably don't use it any more."

Pencil, Just you know. Our little don't grow up. Your body grew up, true. But you are still many ages in your mind. Everyone on the earth has an inner child. Only those of us with multple trauma have many ages frozen in time. That is, until each of those events are released.

Just my .02

safenow