There are so many layers to this thread, and I tend to be a rambler, so I will try and stick to the topic.
1)
The snapshot to me limits the 'memory' to only visual cues. Memories are full sensory experiences, each sense provides input should be explored to truly capture the moment. This translates to traumatic flashbacks because they can be triggered by any of the senses.
2)
My inner child I lived in my own little fantasy world growing up, for this I am grateful. I read a lot, and I would often 'rewrite' new endings for random stories. I continued this habit into adulthood, so in many ways I have turned dissociation into a mental exercise. From hiddenhurt dissociation.
Children are commonly seen to dissociate---not because of trauma, but because every time they get a new type of experience, they have to modify or expand their faculties in order to assimilate it. In the meantime, the experience is dissociated and held in the unconscious. There, they "play with it," using their imagination until they work out a way to make a fit. Children go through a very high rate of new experiences and may frequently dissociate as a normal response to an unfamiliar event. They are continually modifying and expanding their system, or conscious mind.
My trauma occurred later, starting at about 15 and coming to a boil at 25, I don't know how I would have coped if I hadn't been able to assimilate some rather bizarre experiences. The trauma came as a result of understanding the impact my experiences had in shaping who I have become. Finally,
3)
Frozen Emotions
My therapist has attributed this to me cutting off, or disassociating from my emotions. Since most of my flashbacks are emotional, she has referred to them as frozen emotions. Has anyone else run into this concept or has a similar type of disassociation?
We are trained to distrust our emotions at a young age and I believe this to be the most damaging aspect of modern society. We are setting ourselves up to be traumatized. Our instincts for self-preservation are grounded in our emotions, so when we don't trust them, or worse, feel ashamed of them, we are diminishing our ability to cope with trauma and avoid future traumatic experiences.
For example, I took a leave of absence from school because I was falling apart. I had a nervous breakdown but I picked myself back up. I went back to school where I met a girl who was an emotional roller coaster. I told my stepfather that I was afraid of her. He told me that I should be afraid
for her, and that my reaction was selfish and unsympathetic. At first I was ashamed, but then I got angry. I couldn't control my gut reaction to this girl. If I have no control over an emotional response, why should I feel shame or guilt? Her instability threatened the fragile stability I had worked so hard to achieve, dang straight I should be afraid of her, she was a danger to my self-preservation.
Emotions are neutral, how we deal with those emotions decides their connotation. Guilt and shame serve no real purpose in therapy.
