Is He Abusing The Fact That I'm Easily Startled? Or.. Am I Misreading?

[Springer80]

Hi AmyC

Just wanted to bring this to your attention about some of the features of your long freeze seizures....

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/embarrasing.31056/[/DLMURL]

:hug:

 

[Hashi]

I kinda get where he's coming from... but I'm still mad. Why do I keep trying to make him happy? It's like he cares but doesn't care. I just don't want to hurt his feelings =/.

Amy, his behaviour is really wrong and it's serious. I think you need to stop thinking about his motivations and think through your own motivations for trying to find excuses and not upset him.

Please talk to your therapist about this as soon as you can. I don't know if you can talk to your Mom while you're waiting for your therapy appointment - is she a safe person for you to talk to? Do you think she could help you with this? I'm not clear from what you said about how much she knows and how she's feeling with regard to his behaviour.

It's possible that your trauma history and/or having Aspergers is stopping you from being able to take good enough care of yourself. This often happens with people with PTSD and other conditions. His behaviour is abusive and it sounds damaging and dangerous. I think it's important that you talk to someone in real life who can help you with this.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Amy,

Hope your okay? :hug:

 

[jmni]

I just hate to call it off after a only a few days dating again. He's already told EVERYONE that we're back together, and I don't want to look like a jerk for breaking up a second time.

You shouldn't really worry about what other people think. Besides it wouldn't sound like you are a jerk, just that it didn't work out.

Also you don't want to hurt his feelings... ok but don't think of it like that. You set a boundary and he crossed it. If he is so sensitive he should have a mom not a girlfriend.

To answer the first question: Is He Abusing The Fact That I'm Easily Startled? Or.. Am I Misreading?
When is the last time that watching someone jump made you laugh? In my case it's never because it's just not funny. And he thinks it's cute? Screw him. You don't like him and should of listened to you. He already knows that he's getting a second chance. If anything he should be trying to get you to like him more. Also this thing where your body freaks out in his company is a bad sign. I can't vilify him without evidence but that does sound a little suspicious.

If you are in a relationship part of the ultimate goal is to be physical with someone you trust but you don't trust this guy. So this is a failure. If I were you I would tell him it's over and that you don't want to be friends and never talk to him again. Just make it easy and end it quick.

 

[AmyC]

I broke up with him last night. It wasn't easy, and I could tell he was upset... sorry for not replying, it's been a rough week. I talked to some of my friends and they think it's a good idea as well, and they helped me. Thank-you all for the support...

 

[Abstract]

I think you are very brave Amy. Well done to you.

I think a lot of people think its funny to startle us (awful) but there was so much more happening than that. Your safety is important.

 

[Springer80]

I broke up with him last night. It wasn't easy, and I could tell he was upset... sorry for not replying, it's been a rough week. I talked to some of my friends and they think it's a good idea as well, and they helped me. Thank-you all for the support...

Hi Amy,

So glad to hear your okay and back on the forum. Do take care of yourself, your bound to be upset and feel a little lonely. It's takes a while to get used to changes, especially relationship ones and sometimes if your feeling lousy you can wonder if you've made the right decision, cos you remember the relatively positive when your feeling like crap, which is a pain. :rolleyes:

I'm glad your okay though and I agree with Abstract, that your brave. :happy:

I hope you can find some things to do which are nice and take your mind off it and make you feel better...

:hug: