Is It Necessary For Me To Tell My Boss About My Traumas?

[Hopp]

I got my diagnos two years ago and haven't been working at all for 1,5 years due to that. Next week I am going to make a try. I then have two weeks to decide if it is time to come back. Now to my question. My boss has been asking me to tell her and my co-workers what the problem is. She says that they all have difficult to understand because I haven't told them so much. I have told them that the things that has happend happend in my childhood. I really don't want to tell them anymore. Do I have to?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you explain more? Do they just think you're "sick"?

 

[franciemarnie]

You don't have to tell anyone anything ever. You don't have to answer anyone's questions when you don't want to and your gut says no. You don't have to be specific as to how you got PTSD. You don't have to justify your PTSD. I don't see why it would be necessary to explain in any detail the how and whys of your diagnosis. Respect your boundaries.

 

[cdg]

That's tough. It depends on who you are dealing with.

 

[stephanie44]

No, you don't. I do not share at work and tomorrow have a big meeting with several people, my boss, and my union leader to discuss(they do not know it involves me) totally inappropriate sexual comments that keep being made at work. I am telling no one a thing because, quite frankly, I do not trust them, they are not safe people, and they have not earned the right to be told.

 

[Hopp]

Thankyou all for your thoughts:) Stephanie I also feel like you: I don´t trust them. Actually it is hard for me to trust anybody ever, not even my husband, so it is a big step for me. Solara you asked if I could tell them a bit more. Well, maybe what alarms me. I don´t want people to come from behind without me being able to notice, for example. But I really don´t want to tell anythig more...:barefoot::depressed:

 

[p-no]

No! No, no, no, no, no! Seriously, it doesn't help! There may be few exceptions out there but whenever I have shared in such a context, it lead to further problems. I learned some things the hard way and that is one of them.

Now I don't tell anyone. When I'm off work sick, I'm sick. No matter for how long. When I'm back, I'm back. Then deal with the symptoms. You could, if you felt comfortable, tell your colleagues what they could do differently with regard to symptoms (e.g. not bang their fist on the desk), but I would come up with another reason as to why I'd want them to change it. I have found it to be better for ME to keep it all to myself.

I think this issue is one of maintaining your boundaries. If you're clear on not wanting to share, it may be time to put that through and keep your boundaries up, no matter how long it may take for colleagues and all to accept and not ask any questions anymore.

Good luck!

EDIT: P. S. It can depend on the job, too. But I think I would still go with saying nothing much.

 

[Hopp]

I do feel that this question has to do with my bounderies. Maybe I should be cautious...:confused:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well I think it's important for them to know you are dealing with something and perhaps you could tell them things like "don't sneak up on me". I don't think you should go into details at all. However, a minimum disclosure should get you protection under the law (disabilities). If you say nothing, unfortunately it's like forfeiting those rights (but I get the feeling you're already past this point).

 

[cmd]

They do not need to know. If you're sick, you're sick. They don't need to know the details of it anymore than they need to know the details of your bowel movements if you've got IBS.

 

[Padfoot]

I have inadvertantly shared a little with potential employers, only because I am an educator and have spoken to the schools in the area we're moving to regarding enrolling my daughter. I had to give a little background information to 2 of the 3 schools because my daughter was part of it and it has had a negative impact on her. In doing so, some of what happened was explained. These are potentially people I will work for, but I have not disclosed the full story or the way in which it has impacted on my life. I do feel, in that environment, that it is fair to let the Principal know because it's not good to be taking unexplained sick leave. If it weren't for that, it would depend on whether it was appropriate to divulge information to employers or not.

 

[jmni]

I agree with everyone who's discouraged you from talking about your PTSD at work. What country are you in? If you are in the US just claim FMLA and tell them you have anxiety. Your coworkers should not be asking about your personal life or your history. That is none of their business.