Is It Normal?

[Kla]

Recently, I have been having some trouble. I haven't had trouble sleeping, just trouble staying asleep due to night terrors. That's what I call them.

Is it normal for someone who has PTSD to relive the traumatic events in their sleep like me?

These night terrors feel so real that I can smell of the cologne my abusive boyfriend used all over again. When he hits me in my dream, I wake up and feel like I really was actually hit. Sometimes I really think he is inside my home hiding somewhere when I wake up it feels so real.

I jolt out of my sleep a lot. The crazy thing, is you would think this would give me a panic attack and don't. However, I'm usually scared beyond measures. Why does this not trigger me? Should it?

I suffered so much trauma I myself, along with many others are surprised I made it. I went from victim to victor..to only lead to stuff like PTSD, anxiety/panic attack disorders. Now, I'm a victim and a prisoner of my own mind.

I keep the details of the trauma mostly to myself, never really talk much about it. Is it healthy to lock it away? . Should I tell what happen to me and get it out?

Is it normal to miss the good parts of him? I don't want to at all. I want to hate him. Yet, a part still misses who he was before it all started.

Is this maybe why I dream of the abuse? To remind me of my pain? To remind me that no woman should have to suffer like I did? To remind me that that kind of relationship was toxic for me? Are my night terrors trying to tell me something?

 

[WillyKat]

Yes, nightmares about abusive situations are common with PTSD, as are other forms of reliving. Having mixed feelings about those that abuse us is common too.

I've always believed that dreams and nightmares are important and deserve some attention. Are they trying to tell us something? Sometimes, they symbolize what we're thinking deep inside and by figuring out the symbolism, teach us things. Another way of saying the same thing is that dreams represent what we already know, but at a deeper than conscious level. But they also can be repetitive of stuff we already know consciously.

In your case, I'd say the latter applies to you. Your dream is trying to tell you that you were abused, it hurt, it was terrifying. Of course, you already know that, but maybe really feeling it is still elusive. A lot of my therapy over the past 18 months or so circulate around that theme: of knowing what happened to me intellectually, but not quite feeling all its weight emotionally.

Are you working with a therapist? If not, I'd strongly recommend it.

I would also do some reading in the Articles section of the forum for more useful information.

 

[Deleted member 10686]

I experience this, not as much as I used to though. I used to wake up every hour on the hour, in a panic and thinking my sociopath ex was really here to get me. I also had sleep paralysis where i would wake up, unable to move but hallucinating things happening to me. Now I am taking a medication called prazosin, it blocks out nightmares for some reason, it is really helpful. Maybe ask your doctor about it?

 

[Kla]

@WillyKat
I can not find a therapist who will help me in my town. They think I am faking my symptoms, even when my doctor tells them otherwise, or my insurance is a problem. The we don't work with panic attacks come up also. Its been very hard to get help "talking" to someone.

This is why I tried this forum, thought maybe I could find some help. I thought I could find at least a little peace of mind.[DOUBLEPOST=1398542463,1398542402][/DOUBLEPOST]@forwardmotion462
I don't have them all the time. It's a random thing. It's not a huge problem, like the panic attacks.

 

[Springer80]

I used to have them really bad, they've lessened over the years. Recently I had one which is pretty unusual now. Someone was creeping up on me. I was a sleep in my dream in my actual bed. I woke up with a mild jolt.

I found it intresting because it was like my subconscious was checking my reactions.

Dreams are important. Night terrors are horrible, disorientating...paralysing in some instances and very exhausting but they serve a purpose. Its beyond your control really so dont be hard on yourself and take extra good care of yourself as it sometimes takes quite a lot of hours to get over them.