Relationship Is It Normal...??

[Nelson2015]

@Sweetpea76

It's just so weird bc literally 1 day he was fine and the next he was completely shut down. I'm aware that he was unhappy for awhile (now), but the behavior change was ridiculously fast. Sooo when he was fine (or acting fine) he never in a million years would have done this to me. He is literally someone that I don't know anymore...

 

[Sweetpea76]

That is why it is so important to take care of yourself... you can't help him or fix him. He has to do it himself. You can offer support if he seeks it out, but other than that, there isn't really anything you can do. On the other hand, you can help yourself. You just got knocked for a loop too, even if you are "the healthy one."

Take care of your own mental health. Get plenty of rest, exercise and good food. Get all your ducks in a row financially so you don't have to worry about what he is or isn't doing. Find a support system that doesn't center around him. Go out with other friends or social circles. Do things you enjoy, indulge in hobbies, pamper yourself a little. I know it sounds trite when your heart is breaking, but it will do you a lot of good. If he doesn't come around, you will be well on your way to healing from the loss of your relationship. If he does come back, you will have the skills you need for self-care as a supporter. Either way, it will be beneficial.

 

[joeylittle]

It's just so weird bc literally 1 day he was fine and the next he was completely shut down.

I just wanted to say that this is possible. A little ways down in your post you changed it to "acting fine" - that is likely what was happening. I know for myself, I can keep up an appearance for a good chunk of time while the underneath is crumbling. Then, when I can't do it anymore and the appearance has to fall, I drop really far because there's nothing under there anymore. Like Tetris. Bad analogy. Anyway - it must seem so bizarre to you, but I would just accept it as being what happened.

As far as the bill is concerned - he could believe he paid it. I'm not making excuses for him, just saying that he might not be lying. Or sometimes, when I say I've done something (when I'm really under), literally what I mean is 'I will do that ASAP' - I'm just afraid to admit to having dropped a ball. Of course, I then forget to do the thing. Or I do it but make a mistake.

 

[Friday]

Is it very normal to isolate? Yep.
Very normal to be moody? Yep.
Very normal for stress to cause us to shut down? Yes.
Very normal to have memory problems? Yes.
Very normal to have temper problems? Some of us, absolutely.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/

 

[Nelson2015]

@FridayJones

Thank you! I love you just listed it all out for me. I'm going to screen shot it and save it to my phone so I can read when I start feeling lost.

Now why does he still talk to me almost daily if he left me and acts like he doesn't want to talk to me sometimes. He initiates most conversations. I'm not complaining... I love talking to him. I'm just curious as to y?