Is It Ok To Get Angry At Other People?

[The Albatross]

I think that anger/assertiveness/aggression is a more astute way to define it. But that is just me.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I had a woman in my art therapy class once try and tell me to ask "my angels" to help me get rid of all my anger,

I have mixed a lot with people into spirituality, and a lot of it seems fear based and some aspects breed fear of emotions and create some very dark stories about people deemed to be 'negative'. It can be quite scary stuff, especially when you think about that fear and aggression go hand in hand.

This is very interesting topic! Can I think about it and come back to lay a few more eggs?

Well it is Easter, so you can lay as many eggs as you want (as long as they're chocolate)

@albertross, yes, that's a good example. I think most recognise that suppressed anger isn't healthy and that, when it is channelled properly, it has healthy power behind it. And most people will lose their temper and fire at others at some point in their lives - but like you have done here, you recognise it as something that isn't ok, and try work on it.

 

[The Albatross]

Personally, I don't think anything about "people" or their responses is simple.

 

[The Albatross]

When it goes down, it is a time for self reflection. But rather than fault find, I have to take a hard look at what it says to me and whether or not I am in line with my personal integrity.

 

[Philippa]

I know that I'm sensitive to other people being angry, so their self-justification makes me wonder if it's me and my issues that make it seem so unpleasant.

No, I think many people do try and turn it around on the person if they are sensitive, and that does suck when it happens. People don't like taking responsability for what they have done or when they hurt people. Everyone on this forum knows this is true from experience.

I think it is an unpleasant truth that abuse makes people over sensitive to many things, and hypervigilant to attack because they are so used to it from their childhoods. It is hard getting an apology out of someone who may not be in touch with their sensitivity and view someone elses sensitivity with disdain or dismiss it. It's not fair when it happens.

It's a fine line though, because being told you are "overly sensitive" is one of the first things an emotional abuser will say to try and shift blame for their actions, and that can leave the person who has been hurt with nowhere to go and frustrated at being dismissed on top of being hurt by their outbursts.

 

[The Albatross]

Assertiveness is in the middle somewhere. I am still struggling to learn that.

 

[Philippa]

I have mixed a lot with people into spirituality, and a lot of it seems fear based and some aspects breed fear of emotions and create some very dark stories about people deemed to be 'negative'. It can be quite scary stuff, especially when you think about that fear and aggression go hand in hand.

Yes she was very into the spiritual scene...always talking about "energies" and claiming to see and hear things the rest of us didn't, because she was so "special". Later she confessed to having had schizophrenic episodes from too much acid in her teens and early twenties.

Art therapy courses are breeding grounds for projection and other peoples issues bleeding into each other. Lots of boundaries needed to be erected and I had to drop out after 8 modules...couldn't handle it. I was basically homeless at the time and had just cut contact with my parents on top of all that, so I had a lot going on without her putting all her crap on me too.

The "Anger is bad" tribe really annoy me.

 

[shimmerz]

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

[DLMURL="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/aristotle.html"] Aristotle [/DLMURL]

@Pencil, this is beautifully applicable. This is a society that is filled with rage (PTSD or not). I learned through raising 5 children that if you feed loud with loud this just leads to a big ball of bad. A guy yelled at me in the parking lot last year. Just raged at me. I just looked at him until he had finished, because obviously the reaction was way over the top, looked at him with coolness in my eyes and told him to have a nice day. He stared at me with his mouth agape. I startled him with my reaction. I left it with him. I didn't fret about it at all from there. It does no good to get pulled into something like that. I have enough problems than to take on others as well. Who knows, maybe his mother is really sick or whatever. I don't care and won't take it on - but I am not feeding it either.

 

[The Albatross]

"projection and other peoples issues bleeding into each other".... I think that's what makes things so damned complicated, in any enviornment.

 

[Pencil]

It does no good to get pulled into something like that.

Well said! I love the expression: 'You don't have to attend any argument you're invited to'. The funny is that for the first half of my life I thought it would be RUDE to walk away. :rolleyes:

 

[The Albatross]

On cue I'm walking away.

 

[Pencil]

I'm walking away

Why??