Relationship Is this 'normal' with ptsd sibling

[Bart1]

I AM more than willing to offer help / support but the 'help' they seem to want is as I described above - financial immediately and ones presence at really difficult times of the day. They have said that they are in therapy but no-one knows if this is true or not. I also don't know if this is a self-diagnosis or not. I have suffered from depression in the past so I know how much I was so grateful for the people who were supportive of me during that really dark time.
Willing to change is what I am not sure about. Like i said - they were like this ten years ago, so on that front nothing is different. In terms of attitude, behaviour etc except this time they have returned after 10 years with a PTSD 'explanation'. That's it really.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’d avoid giving them money.

 

[Bart1]

I haven't but others around them have been pressured into doing so. Which they have done for 'peace'. When I politely declined as I'm not really in a position to do so being mid-Jan etc that's when the abuse began...

 

[EveHarrington]

Oh that’s a bad sign. The abuse started after you refused to give them money? It’s proba a good idea to stay away from them. Maybe the only reason they came back was because they need money?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Yep... don't come to me after years of no contact asking for money. Red flag.

Deperation because they needed bail/food/medicine would be different of course. But asking for money then getting in a snit when refused is a different story.

 

[Bart1]

Yes they did say they need the money for food but this is what everyone gets told. One person was smart and insisted on driving to the supermarket so food was definitely bought but the demand for "money for food" kept coming even after being taken to the supermarket...so I became uncertain and whilst I was pondering my decision either way...the abuse came.
Totally unexpected after this 10 year absence but made me raise my guard up immediately.

 

[Bart1]

Ultimately it's been a ten year disappearance and then unexpectedly just prior to Xmas they've resurfaced.
No Hi how r u howve u been. It was more like a Hi I've been doing great these last few years me n my kids need cash for food and bills like tomorrow morning what time can u drop it off.
And I'm sat there in a daze. Like nothing's ever happened. At first I thought I should be grateful they've resurfaced just "go with it" but something held me back

 

[Hojay]

This may be totally off the mark, but could substances be at play here? The requests for money and subsequent abuse for not providing, also the short time frames and odd hours? It’s just a thought. You’re in an awful position, but your instincts seem on point.

 

[Bart1]

I did think that too but from what others have said who've spent time with in their company. It's not likely. And this person knows all about substance abuse. Seems to be expensive lifestyle choices I believe a lot of debt maybe credit from stores catalogue cards etc

 

[Bart1]

From the little I've learned on here crisis meltdowns can happen at odd hours and in he middle of the night. Apparently they suffer from insomnia bcos of PTSD also but again I just don't know if it's true or it's just them choosing to be rude to me anyway as I didn't respond immediately to the demands being made , like others did.

 

[Rumors]

Clear boundaries and a list of expectations as it pertains to respect in the relationship. Good luck

 

[EveHarrington]

Do NOT rescue someone for bad lifestyle choices!

My dad has hit up all three of his kids for money because he is living well beyond his means. He’s told us he is going to declare bankruptcy. It’s all his own fault. He refuses to cut corners, scrimp and save. I say good luck to him! It’s his own damn fault he’s in this predicament.