Is this true?

[Deleted member 45408]

I feel there must b some way for someon

You're free, girl. Don't let them enslave your mind now that they don't have control over you physic...

thank u,,,its so hard to comprehend,,,,,,my brain really cant wrap itself around it..that I feel its tying to find something....that's not there...

 

[Supervixn]

I do this too. I recreate my trauma and feel like it births itself into my present reality. Idk how much of it is me/paranoia/fear and how much is real. It's part of PTSD. It feels like a big mindf*** sometimes.

 

[desiderata310]

When my mother started to slip down into the hell of dementia, I looked into taking guardianship mainly because she wouldn't let me help her and I could tell things were going wrong- bad wrong and fast. The thing is, it would have taken a court order just to have her evaluated and if she had a good day? it would have made things worse between us.

All that to say that someone can not came in and take over your life in that manner. I get the anxiety. I REALLY do but you are indeed, free.

 

[Esterio]

Here in Canada there are 3 ways that I know of
1 you give someone control voluntarily (this one you can do your self or with the assistance of your Attorney
2 They arrest you under a mental health warrant (this takes a doctors orders)
3 for some one to take control though "Committee" (this takes a judge) May be similar
it is not some thing that happens easy.
Hope that helps some. I would check with and a Attorney or legal aid.
Hope that helps some.
peace be safe

 

[mumstheword]

That sounds like a cognitive distortion. You would have to be in a situation where you were causing a lot of trouble for others, or being exploited and harmed and not having the cognitive ability to safeguard your own welfare for that to happen.

For instance, sometimes elderly people with Alzheimer's end up with a guardian when family members are trying to protect them from losing all their money to someone exploitative and they are not fit to care for themselves.

My adult son has a guardian because he is a medium-functioning autistic young man who developed a psychotic illness.Who's father is a malevolent influence on him. His psychiatrist and community mental health case worker decided to apply for guardianship after I suggested that I would because his father was mistreating him, neglecting him, drugging him, taking all his money and depriving him of services and supports.

I wanted to be his guardian, because he is an adult now but has a very biddable nature, very easy to manipulate and I wanted to be able to advocate for him, without his father blocking supports for him and he wasn't able to assert himself or protect himself from his father.

Mental Health suggested an independent guardian because they knew how abusive his father is towards me and that I would be a too-easy soft target, so I agreed and now he has an independant state appointed guardian.


The guardian got him supported accommodation. He was still allowed to visit his father. Recently my son's support team and I lobbied access to his dad's be further limited because of the severe decline in his health when allowed too much time at his dad's.

So you see, it would have to be proven that you were making choises that were extremely detrimental to yourself because of reduced facilities and that would have to be proven to a tribunal with lots of evidence. So it's very hard, unless the circumstances are extreme, to get a state appointed guardian or be awarded guardianship of an adult.

 

[MandyLucio]

Don’t fret to much dear. I understand your concern but your husband is correct. You are your own person now hun...you escaped your childhood and you are free to do as you please (as long as it’s legal). Be kind to yourself. When you are feeling overwhelmed just take a deep breath and count to ten! :hug:

 

[Friday]

....true or ptsd?

Not true.

Your husband is correct. Adult guardianship is designed for folks in comas, with severe autism, Alzheimer's, etc. It's designed as a kindness, to keep people safe/protected who can't do it themselves. Who cannot make decisions, period. Not people who make decisions other people don't agree with. And it's hard to get. If the person it's being applied for is physically able to say "no", then they're able to make decisions, and almost it's impossible to get... unless they're also applying for it, and even then it's hard to get approved. Because most people take their freedom -and the freedoms of others- very seriously. People fight wars for freedom. We enact laws protecting freedom. Freedom is very important. You're not alone in believing that.

I'm hesitant to say it's entirely PTSD, however, because it may be... or you may have some other things fueling this fear. Young mom = Post Partum Depression, hormones a bit imbalanced, & sleep dep = very likely as well. And I'd hate to see you solely focusing on the lessons you learned in trauma if they're only coming out because of something easily fixable.

Speaking as a mom (and therefore sleep deprived), with PTSD, who had antepartum depression (PPDs cousin, who shows up whilst pregnant, instead of after birth)... I'd really urge you to talk with your doc. This stuff is hard enough without an easily fixable physical thing making it 10,000 times worse.

 

[shimmerz]

You know, I can relate very much to your posting. As a kid I was literally held hostage in my home by my mother. I was grounded incessantly, for 6 months to a year at a time. And there is a special feeling that comes with that. It is like a guilded cage in my mind. I swear, I struggle with this each and every day. I haven't gotten to it yet.... it is way down the list of 'PTSD shit to deal with'. But it really does feel awful to me.

I say start with small things. Changing your thoughts and your idea is a great start. 'I choose to brush my teeth right now' comes to mind. I choose to have a shower, each and every time you see, based on your self care schedule, that you need one. I choose to eat. I choose to get in the car and drive xyz place.

It sounds really stupid, but it really did work for me. It allowed me to acknowledge that I CAN and WILL make my own decisions. And, of course, that in itself.... allowing yourself to make your own decision, is no small feat.

Welcome to the world of being able to make your own decisions! Scary, I know. But so incredibly freeing!

Enjoy!

 

[Butterflies2023]

I never felt free until my mom passed away from cancer. It’s a difficult thing to admit too. My mom was very controlling and critical of me.

Distance is helpful if you can physically move away with your family

If not then break all ties with those that make you feel trapped.
Simply stop calling them (block phone numbers on your cell)
Stop all visits - stop all communication.

My older brother went so far as to ask my mom to take a picture of me using her cell phone to see what I looked like (that’s when my mom was alive and living with my sister under her care) I just went to visit her because she was dying. When I saw what she was doing I was appalled and she knew it. (My dad and mom and brother were very abusive)

So I do get this feeling trapped or Not Feeling Free

Daily Practice being more mindful of your anxiety and know that is getting the better of you

If you have TV - follow along the yoga stations
Go for long DAILY walks while your husband watches the kids

Be easy on yourself - for me the kids (I had 4)
became a wonderful distraction. Playing - reading - teaching them new things and being amused by their developing personalities. Your life will get consumed by their school and their friends and parents - you will develop parent friendships.

For now rest your mind if you can - talk to yourself about rest and letting go.
Avoid all contact with those that are toxic in your life (family can be quite toxic)

You have to care for yourself to be the best mom and wife - because nobody else will swoop in to save the day. That’s one LONG lesson I learned

 

[Deleted member 45408]

been struggling thinking someone can take me for adult guardianship and my husband says its only for mentally incompetent...,,maybe I am ..and I don't know??? makes me so anxious not knowing

 

[EveHarrington]

Nobody here can tell you if you are mentally competent. Please seek out the help of a psychiatrist or therapist.

 

[mumstheword]

The fact that you've married and had 3 children, that you still have in your care, indicates that you are mentally competent.

My son, the one with the guardian, will never be able to marry and care for children, unless a miracle occurs.