Is this true?

[shaken]

I live an hour away from him- I THOUGHT he was coming out here to pick me up- drive down to macon about an hour straight shot from my home then back here to stay with me the night. As it was, he wanted me to drive out to ATL to drive down to Macon with strangers to me and then back to ATL- no alone time with him- I did not want to do this. I do have freedom of choice and that is not something I was interested in- I said so nicely. I could not figure out why these other people would be going on our date with us and why he did not mention this before- It was so far away from what I had pictured in MY mind that it triggered ME- (although I do not have PTSD) i was not happy about it and bowed out. I do not regret my choice- just the unexpected reaction he had. That is part of relationships- discussion is necessary when partners don't see eye to eye on things they talk through and try to understand each other- I was so wrong that he was able to do this. :(

Dam ... I had typed out a longish response but now see it is not posted fir some reason. I ‘ll try again tomorrow

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[user47718]

I live an hour away from him- I THOUGHT he was coming out here to pick me up- drive down to macon about an hour straight shot from my home then back here to stay with me the night. As it was, he wanted me to drive out to ATL to drive down to Macon with strangers to me and then back to ATL- no alone time with him- I did not want to do this. I do have freedom of choice and that is not something I was interested in- I said so nicely. I could not figure out why these other people would be going on our date with us and why he did not mention this before- It was so far away from what I had pictured in MY mind that it triggered ME- (although I do not have PTSD) i was not happy about it and bowed out. I do not regret my choice- just the unexpected reaction he had. That is part of relationships- discussion is necessary when partners don't see eye to eye on things they talk through and try to understand each other- I was so wrong that he was able to do this. :(

Dam ... I had typed out a longish response but now see it is not posted fir some reason. I ‘ll try again tomorrow

<mod note: you weren't logged in, and so your post was waiting in moderation. I've approved it, here, but please make sure you're logged in, to avoid losing posts. If you need help, write to Contact us>

Apparently there is some issue with posting from both my PC and my phone

 

[user47718]

Do you isolate Eve?
I am saddened to learn of all who have basically had their brains “rewired” by childhood trama. From what I read Complex PTSD has different issues than PTSD that happens to adults.
My guy (ex) is one of the sweetest people I have ever known- unfortunately he Cannot handle intimate partnership relationships.
When I look back , I see how hard he tried though. I remember seeing some scrapes, red marks under both arms before his 1st episode with me. He was previously a cutter and hair puller - I think he had inflicted those scrapes himself- he said it was from a big rock- I didn’t put it together at the time but .....
What REALLY unsettles me is that - it was his 4 yrs older SISTER who caused his trama by repeatedly smothering him to the point of passing out starting at age 4 til he was bug enough to stop her. Somehow they have a descent relationship now and even go to shows together sometimes! She is now a social worker . It is strange to me that seeing / talking to his perpetrator regularly is somehow OK. But he will probably never communicate with me again - someone who would NEVER purposely hurt him and only tried to love him. I tried so hard. I see now that it could never work but I did try my best.

 

[blackemerald1]

That is part of relationships- discussion is necessary when partners don't see eye to eye on things they talk through and try to understand each other- I was so wrong that he was able to do this

If he was going to end the relationship over something so trifling you have done well. I agree with you - communicating is key to every relationship.

I don't believe partner relationships are the hardest I have encountered but that depends entirely on who I am dealing with. I don't think you can broadly brush that statement over every single dynamic and relationship for all people... each to their own. :)

 

[user47718]

Do you have COMPLEX PTSD??

If he was going to end the relationship over something so trifling you have done well. I agree with you - communicating is key to every relationship.

I don't believe partner relationships are the hardest I have encountered but that depends entirely on who I am dealing with. I don't think you can broadly brush that statement over every single dynamic and relationship for all people... each to their own. :)

do you have COMPLEX PTSD? From childhood trama?

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @Erinout - didn't see your post here...sorry!

Do you have COMPLEX PTSD??

do you have COMPLEX PTSD? From childhood trama?

Not prepared to divulge where my trauma derived from... why do you ask?

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you isolate Eve?
I am saddened to learn of all who have basically had their brains “rewired” by childhood trama. From what I read Complex PTSD has different issues than PTSD that happens to adults.
My guy (ex) is one of the sweetest people I have ever known- unfortunately he Cannot handle intimate partnership relationships.
When I look back , I see how hard he tried though. I remember seeing some scrapes, red marks under both arms before his 1st episode with me. He was previously a cutter and hair puller - I think he had inflicted those scrapes himself- he said it was from a big rock- I didn’t put it together at the time but .....
What REALLY unsettles me is that - it was his 4 yrs older SISTER who caused his trama by repeatedly smothering him to the point of passing out starting at age 4 til he was bug enough to stop her. Somehow they have a descent relationship now and even go to shows together sometimes! She is now a social worker . It is strange to me that seeing / talking to his perpetrator regularly is somehow OK. But he will probably never communicate with me again - someone who would NEVER purposely hurt him and only tried to love him. I tried so hard. I see now that it could never work but I did try my best.

My isolation lasts days, not weeks or months.

 

[user47718]

Hey @Erinout - didn't see your post here...sorry!




Not prepared to divulge where my trauma derived from... why do you ask?

did not mean to pry or ask details- just wondered if the trauma was in childhood. I ask because I believe it is very different to trauma when it happens to adults.