Is X-box Really That Bad?

[Truckinjoan]

My partner is angry with me for playing x-box. Says it is an addiction and she refuses to be with an addict! Can you believe that? Does anyone agree with this train of thought? I don't know if I am being stubborn or if she has a point.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

What? X-box, is a, huh? Well, if the x box is getting in the way of leading a normal life, as with any addiction I suppose, then it's a bad thing. If you are able to enjoy it for reasonable periods of time, and it is not interfering with your normal life and you can go with out it without having withdraws or other symptoms, than no it is not an addiction. I guess.

I suppose all three of my kids need rehab, stat. :p (Me too- I am a game junkie! shhh... MW3, oh- do not get me started...)

 

[J'aime]

Hahaha omg, she's being overly-dramatic. An addict?? To a gaming system? Wow, what a disrespectful label to put onto you. I myself LOVE XBox, so I suppose I am automatically going to disagree with her. But beyond that, calling you an addict is just so absurd thst I can't help but laugh. I know when I play Xbox, it's a total relief for me...an escape from reality. I'm not an 'addict'. I just can't get past her labeling you like that. If it were me, I'd sit and talk with her, and tell her that her comment was extremely outlandish and dramatic, but also sympathize with her...she obviously wants your attention. So maybe set aside some time when you can game and she's busy doing something else. She's gotta be frustrated, and obviously she is, to be tossing around terms like that. I think you two just need to sit and work out a plan of when it's "us time", and when it's "me time".

I'm an extreme extrovert, and my fiance is an extreme introvert...so, I have all this energy and I talk waaaay too much, as a form of releasing my pent-up energy. Him, on the other hand...his way of releasing is inner reflection, whether it be just by watching tv, or napping. Either way, it took us 4 years to figure out when each other just wants to be alone, and when we need our space, or when we want to be around eadh other. But it took us TALKING to figure it out. Good luck! :)

 

[sea]

Videogames and computer usage do what?

Stimulate the brain. How so? Release of dopamine. You're engaged, you're doing things, you're happy, excitement, adrenaline, dopamine. Big thing....dopamine is also released while doing cocaine or ecstasy.

Take 30 people with ADHD and ask them how many play videogames or surf online excessively or go shopping or do drugs or listen to music or....ding ding...get bored....

Take the basic principle of ADHD which is an inherent lack of dopamine & dopamine seeking behavior...perfect breeding ground for? Addictive behaviors in general.... due to again, the dopamine problem.

So absolutely, sit in front of your X-Box for 30 hours in a row and you've got yourself a wee little minor problem, there. You play videogames and are constantly releasing a flow of dopamine into your brain as you do so...then the videogame gets BORING after the dopamine stops releasing...so you play a new videogame....

Or..you STOP playing videogames and suddenly you are struck by a NEED to play them that is insatiable. Because you don't wake up going "oh gee, I need some dopamine"...you just recall the last activity that produced it.

Solution? Stop playing em. If you can't, you're an addict.

 

[olaja]

I am a gamer. (MMO, not XBOX) While I am not sure I would use the word "addiction" I am 100% positive that people can use the video games to escape from reality, get hooked on the "achievements" the video games have set up in game, and build another world for themselves that has nothing to do with reality. But, people do this with other things, too, so it's not just gaming. There is the guy who goes on fishing trips or golfs to escape, as example.

IMO, there is a fine line between an interest that you have a passion for, and something that you use to escape the world. That is what I had to check in on within myself.

I also appreciate what sea wrote. I would check in about the way you feel if you haven't gamed in a long time.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Well, I have to chime in on this, because I've been on the other end of the addiction.

Having said that, I do not know how much time you spend on Xbox. (I personally, love my Xbox Kinect for exercising. :) ) So I am not going to comment on that, other than it's something you need to really think about and be honest with yourself about.

My partner (previously fiance as we split up over the summer and are now back together and working on our relationship) is a TV addict. He may not classify himself so, but it was the primary thing (other two were smoking and not exercising when he has chronic fatigue and a poor immune system) that made me extremely unhappy in our relationship. He might not have seen it that way, but TV was more important to him than I was (I felt), it was like "the other woman". Our home life revolved around the TV. The TV was almost always on. When he came home from work, first thing he'd do is turn the TV on. On weekends? Unless we went out, the TV would be on all or most of the day. The kids there? The TV would still be on all day.

It was how he "relaxed" and despite the fact that it was a stressor for me, I did not have an issue with that. It was the amount, the way it took over our lives, the way everything revolved around the damn TV. Finish watching a movie? Turn on the TV. As the woman, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I felt like I wasn't much different than the living room lamp. I wanted him to pay attention to ME. To feel like I could count on that as much as I could count on the fact he was going to watch TV. Whether or not he'd turn it off, whether or not he'd get off the couch--was the day going to be good or bad (ie an all-tv day)--I never knew.

Don't even get me started on the effect of that on the kids.

Which is another thing: My stepkids. Think it's not possible or an exaggeration to say TV and video game addiction doesn't exist? You would be wrong. Because of their mother (my partner didn't live with them, and because of me, we were the ones who would make them do something else, and was that ever an uphill battle) these kids watch TV and play video games 24/7--or as close as they can get and still sleep. They even do it in order to FALL asleep, they will watch a movie until they conk out at their mom's.

Because of this, they have poor social skills and do not know how to have friends (except 1 who was blessed with a very easy going disposition), they fight constantly because they do not know how to interact with one another when the TV and video games are off, NONE of them knew how to play, and never learned. They developed none of the creativity and ability to entertain themselves that other kids have. They couldn't sit down with toys and play, they would be bored because they didn't know what to do. They are all, and have been since they were very young, obese.

The mother tells the youngest girl, that my daughter is a "stick" because she is a healthy weight. Every time this little girl realizes she is fat, she is traumatized. Denial quickly kicks in--one time my partner found an online calculator which put all 3 of the youngest in the 95 percentile of the obese category. She was devastated. Next morning, she was bright and chipper and told us it had all gone away while she slept. Her mother is perpetuating this, and one day she will realize--for good--she is not normal. The 2nd, has severe back problems due to lack of activity and excessive weight--we have watched that poor child cry and cry and cry for hours no matter what we do to help, because HE EXERCISED. The 3rd, well his behavioural problems are so severe I just hope he doesn't end up in jail one day, he certainly will never become a functional adult. He has autism and he FREAKS if you take video games and TV away from him. He is more extreme, but like the others, he has no idea how to cope without the TV and the videogames.

This didn't happen when their parents were together, they were a healthy weight and started out as healthy kids.

Can TV, Xbox, Gamecube, Wii, etc. be addictive and destroy families and lives? Hell yes.

It can overtake relationships (like mine).

It can make kids think the only way to "connect" as a family is to disconnect and put something distracting in the way.

I am not saying this is the case with you, but if she is telling you it is a problem, it is a problem.

I was not an unreasonable shrew when I got frustrated with my partner for spending more time with the tv than with me. Unless you know your partner to be one, take her concerns seriously.

I never made an issue of it unless it was getting so frustrating that despite my attempts to be understanding it was just too much.

Also, it makes him sound really bad, just this isolated piece, but my partner is a very considerate and self sacrificing man. He did many things for me and showed me love in other ways. But this was a huge issue for us (me). He just wasn't very good in this way, in the past. The results were the same though: I wasn't getting my needs met in the relationship.

 

[anthony]

Video gaming can be addictive, yes.

If it interferes in your life and/or relationships in an unhealthy manner, then yes, it does need to be addressed and could be an addictive matter.

 

[Truckinjoan]

My partner was saying the same thing you said Phoenix, that she feels like a piece of furniture when she is in the room with me. It is just such a good distraction method, I almost don't feel the pain while I am playing. But I am going to try to spend an entire day without playing any video games at all and see how it goes.

 

[anthony]

Replace x-box and add anything that has the same effect... same end result.

Everything comes with a moderation of use, otherwise if within a relationship, guaranteed it will affect that relationship. If single... sure, nobody is affected except yourself, thus the addiction is an issue, but not hurting anyone but yourself.