Relationship It Feels Personal..

[Della]

@journey31, you can still contact him but keep it as minimal as you can. Maybe twice a week and if you do talk to him, try not to stay on the phone long unless he wants to. Keep the conversation sweet but to a minimal. Don't talk too much about the relattionship. Try to encourage him because he already said he screw things up all the time. If he makes you angry, let him know but in a stern but not aggressive way because an argument does not need to start. Send positive quotes to him via text messages. That has a tendancy to work as well. Best to you dear :-)

 

[Della]

@medley29, I understand that it's hard for you to back off because we sometimes get used to the person being there all the time and we can talk to them when we want to. Sometimes we men/women have a tendency to get clingy at times but a person with PTSD does not like to be clung to like that. If you are dating somebody with this type of disorder, just look to be pretty much on your own most of the time. Expect a lot of lonely days and doing things mostly by yourself because most of them do not have the drive or stamina to do just the basic daily activities. Do if you're the clingy type, then you may not be in a good position. but, patience is the key. focus on yourself as an individual and do the things that you like. Live life for yourself and enjoy yourself because we must not solely depend on other people to make us happy because if we do, then we will be disappointed most of the time. This does not only go for people with PTSD, this goes for people in general. :-) best of luck baby.

 

[medley29]

@Della I am learning a lot of these things. I guess since I've never dealt with any of this, it was just surprising to go from spending time together and talking, and even lazy weekends together to nothing. Before this medication change, he seemed to have a good handle on his symptoms. This isn't his first time with this, so I'm certain he knows what works better than I do. When he was feeling good I saw him a lot, and he seemed to really enjoy that time together. I have to remember that THAT is who he is, and this that I'm experiencing now is the PTSD. I'm learning more to stand on my own two feet and handle issues and just daily life on my own. I've been praying a lot and relying on God to guide me and get me through the tough times, and it's growing me because of it. I spend a lot of time praying for him too. I just have to keep on keeping on, and keep learning to be independent so I can be okay AND not make his load heavier.

 

[medley29]

When he feels good we do a lot of outdoors stuff, or we cook together or grill or something like that. He's a lot of fun when he is feeling like himself.

 

[Della]

@medley29 that's sweet. My sufferer does not spend the weekends with me at all since we have been seeing each other. when he comes to see me, we sit in his car and he has not met my daughter because he is not ready to meet her because he wants to see how we are going to work out first. We parted ways for about 30 days and now he is slowly getting back to talking to me. He worked on a project for me for school and that night when he gave the thumb drive back to me we talked for a minute and then we were intimate. I have no idea if that's his way of saying that he for gave me and we are tying to work on things or what. I guess I will see in the long run but I don't hardly bother or call him much now. I mostly let him make the moves as to what he wants to do. Yes but when his is in a good mood, I do see him more often. He told me that if I don't pressure him as much, then he will make love to me more and come around more. I guess I just have to take it as what it is. Just hang on Medley and it will be ok and keep on pryaing because what god has for you, it will be for you :-)

 

[medley29]

@Della I'm glad things are improving for you, and I hope they continue to do so. I want to keep from pressuring my honey too. It's just maddening at times trying to figure out the "right" thing to do. I have to learn more about self-care.

 

[Della]

@medley29 , your self care could be anything for buying something nice for your self, or going to get manicures or pedicure or massages, or hot showers, exercise, music soft music or aroma therapy just to name a few. anything to get you some me time. If you do that, then I think that you will be ok and just keep having high hopes and staying in prayer.

 

[Della]

@medley29 I hope that they are I'm scared to death to ask him are we back together or not?:confused::shifty: so I'm just going to play it by ear and wait a few more weeks before I ask him or see if he continues to come around once the project in completed.

 

[medley29]

@Della I admire your patience. I think that's one way we can show that we care is to be patient and give them room when they need it.

 

[A13]

I can relate to this so much, you appear to be a step ahead of me. You find it easy to.give him the space where I was putting pressure on my man to communicate (which was wrong).. I am really trying to figure it out myself as I don't know how to deal with it properly yet either. I have a feeling it's going to be trial and error, what works for your sufferer may not work for mine. Its so hard not to get insecure but I find keeping busy is the key!! Keep your chin up. Your doing your best!

 

[Deleted member 17302]

Well, just let him be for the moment, that's good that he has not been mean to you because some of them ca...

Your comments are both calming and encouraging. Thank you for being that way.

 

[Bubbles215]

So glad this thread has been created. It's made me feel so much better and chill a bit. I'm at a point where despite trying so hard not to take it personally right now I can't see any other way but to do so. To see someone you care about on FB time and time again while you're shut out, not contacted is hard and it really bl00dy hurts. So no more waiting and desperately wishing for a text, any text.