It's Very Hard For Me To Tell My Mother About My Problems,

[Abstract]

I think anyway you find you can do it is fine. The main thing is for you to tell her and as quickly as possible since you are at riak. Sometimes going into hospital can be a difficult thing depending on the country you are in and what is available. So many people who should be in don't end up in. But regardless of whether you go into hospital or not it is good to tell and ask for help. Your mother wouldn't want you to be quiet and then harm yourself. Well done for deciding to ask for support.

Does your mother know what your father and stepmother did to you? .

 

[digger]

Is it ok to ask about your siblings? Are they older or younger than you? Do they go with you to your father's?

 

[DMerish]

Minty - I know it would be difficult to talk (or read the letter) to your mom face-to-face. However, doing so would be the best way to assure her that you're letting her know what's going on because you love and respect each other. I strongly advise against sending an email then leaving. Most mothers would become terribly frantic reading about the type of news you intend to deliever. They would want to express their concern, their love, desire to help, and express their support for you - Receiving news that you've been talking about without having the opportunity to honor what's been said, and to "mother" could really make things worse. If you really can't stand to inform her face to face, please, p-l-e-a-s-e be somewhere she can reach you, somewhere rather close by, like another room.

Think about it . . . if a very close friend or family member that you loved brought this type of stuff to your attention, wouldn't you feel compelled to want to talk to them and to help them? If you give her the information but don't make yourself available, that could cause her to be a lot more upset, worried and concerned. That's not what you want, is it? It's not fair to either of you.

 

[a3a2]

As a mom, I know DMerish is right. She'll be scared. But if you recognize that you may not be able to handle her immediate reaction, let her know this in the e-mail, and let her know where she can immediately find you.

 

[Abstract]

I understand everyones thoughts but I really think Minty's mother would prefer to be told in any way possible rather than not be told and something happening. I know I would. Personally I think it's unhelpful to be discussing her possible feelings in this context - just my opinion. Minty sounds as if he may not be able to do it in any other way and Minty you already sound like you feel overly responsible for others emotions.

Please do tell your mother what is happening. None of this is your fault and that includes any worry your mother may have. Any worry caused to your mother is the direct responsibility of your father and stepmother who caused this situation. You have no fault here and are important.

 

[Minty]

I just don't know, I've already left, I also don't want her to tell my father I'm suicidal. I've been thinking. I've weighed the risks. I am going to tell my therapist first thing next appointment.

 

[littlelostchild]

Hi Minty - I am so glad that you have decided to tell your therapist! It is really important that you give him this information so that he can work with you knowing how deeply this is affecting you. He can also make sure that you are safe and work with you to help you get some relief from the intensity of the feelings. I encourage you to tell him about the self harming (you infer this in your second entry) because that is also important. Many of us try to hide these symptoms because of a perceived stigma, but there is no shame in any of these - they are simply what they are - symptoms of an illness.

Are you seeing your therapist soon? If you become overwhelmed before the appointment, is there another trusted adult you could go to or is there a Crisis Line you could phone? I know you are concerned your mom would hear you, but could you find privacy? Is there a clinic nearby that you could go to?

I am so proud of you, Minty! You are so strong!! If you are OK with it, I am sending you a big safe hug: ((Minty))

Be well

 

[Abstract]

Minty,
How long until you are back with your mum?

Please remember that asking for help if you get desperate is the right thing to do.

If you can't bring yourself to tell your mum right away then some crisis centres have email options as well as telephone lines.

Take care. I am also sending you a hug if OK.

 

[DMerish]

Hi Minty - I think telling your therapist at your next appointment is a very good decision! And, also to reach out to a crisis center if you feel you need to.