Sufferer I've Been In Denial

[Tanishq]

Therapy is lot of work, yes. That's great to hear you have got positive support there. I hope you find someone who understands you and I get it, it's a good idea to have good natural network.

 

[sweetcandy]

Its very difficult to let work colleagues know of the diagnosis. You've been at your job for over 20 years, which is great. Your employer must think you're a great worker to have you employed there for that long. Getting triggered at work is a challenge. I find grounding myself in general really hard, at work it would be even harder.

Its not your fault that you happened to experience trauma in your life. In my experience, when I finally accepted my diagnosis, I educated myself about ptsd and only really told people who were on the "need to know list." The people who would be directly affected by it, like family and very close friends. You've accepted the diagnosis, which I think is the first step to recovery.

 

[Hope4Now]

I feel your longing for understanding and peace.
I just got out of my first (and hopefully last) stint in a locked psych unit. I met once with a psychiatrist I quite liked. I walked away from the meeting with him remembering only one thing he said to me. I share it with you because I too am in mid-life and have just taken leave from my longstanding professional career. Am hoping to find what I am really meant to be doing. Anyway, the psychiatrist said: "As long as you are not singing your own song, you will never find happiness." I wish you well as you explore how to move forward in your life.

 

[anthony]

After years of fighting this and trying to prove everyone wrong I have finally come to accept myself and work with my ptsd rather than against it.

We all have our unique roads to travel before we understand ourselves and accept what is. There is no time limit, that's for sure. Well done... to be honest... as many never accept what is in front of them, so they can deal with it appropriately instead of trying to convince themselves it will go away, or doesn't exist.

Congrats.

 

[liv now]

Thanks for your reply Anthony. On some level I still wish it would go away or wouldn't exist, and maybe if I tried every possible technique or proceedure that existed to rewire my brain I might have some success, however the length of time they would take... I think I would die trying and miss out on all that life has to offer....I've wasted enough time trying to "fix this". Everyone has experiences in life that shape who they are as a person....I'm a person who just happens to have experienced traumas in life which has helped shape who I am... The question I now face is how do I wish to spend my life having now accepted myself ...ptsd and all.

 

[intothelight]

@liv now Self acceptance is critical to be able to "live now" (love you screen name). PTSD is not who a person is, it is something they have like any other chronic condition. I hope you discover what you really want to do and how you really want to live as although change is frightening, it can be a really good thing.