Friday
Sponsor
@Terry W ... It was meant less 'everyone has problems' & more that just because someone's a good person, doesn't mean you'll want to hang out with them, much less be friends. Just because someone is family? Doesn't mean that there "should" be a relationship beyond that.
I come from an amazing family, I married into an abusive as f*ck, one. What has just always confused me is the lengths people go in abuse to try and force relationships "like everybody else". Like there is an imagined idea of what mother/daughter or sisters or cousins etc. "should" be like, that everyone else has, and dammit! No matter how much our relationship has never been like that, will keep trying! Sigh. I can respect determination and stubbornness in spades, it's just heartbreaking to watch it smashed against the same brick wall over and over. No matter how much, or how often, one is hurt by that. When, facts are, healthy families not only don't -usually- look like the abuse-imagined versions of "healthy", but when people don't get on? They -usually- don't keep trying to force something to be something it isn't. They don't get on... And that's okay. It's not that the other person is evil, bad, terrible, abusive, or awful... They just aren't friends. They'll see each other & catch up from time to time, but they don't go out of their way to try and be friends. That's what friends are for. People who share more with you than a gene pool. It's not like it's some massive failure -on anyone's part- when sisters aren't friends, much less best friends. It's just personalities not meshing. And, again, that's okay.
I come from an amazing family, I married into an abusive as f*ck, one. What has just always confused me is the lengths people go in abuse to try and force relationships "like everybody else". Like there is an imagined idea of what mother/daughter or sisters or cousins etc. "should" be like, that everyone else has, and dammit! No matter how much our relationship has never been like that, will keep trying! Sigh. I can respect determination and stubbornness in spades, it's just heartbreaking to watch it smashed against the same brick wall over and over. No matter how much, or how often, one is hurt by that. When, facts are, healthy families not only don't -usually- look like the abuse-imagined versions of "healthy", but when people don't get on? They -usually- don't keep trying to force something to be something it isn't. They don't get on... And that's okay. It's not that the other person is evil, bad, terrible, abusive, or awful... They just aren't friends. They'll see each other & catch up from time to time, but they don't go out of their way to try and be friends. That's what friends are for. People who share more with you than a gene pool. It's not like it's some massive failure -on anyone's part- when sisters aren't friends, much less best friends. It's just personalities not meshing. And, again, that's okay.
