Sufferer Just got out of a relationship and this is bringing up issues of staying in bad relationships.

[DarkVixen]

Just got out of a 2 year relationship and he keeps trying to suck me back in. Which has been a pattern the whole 2 years. This is bringing up issues of why I stayed and how my healthy radar was clearly off for this person. Just trying to put my thoughts in order to just move on and not let this person affect my wanting to have healthy relationships. I was diagnosed with PTSD 16 years ago. Most of those symptoms have resolved but clearly the choices I make have been affected and I need to work on getting back to a healthy mentality and away from this person and stay away from people who are just unhealthy. Sadly I feel that he used the fact I have PTSD to manipulate me and I will definitely be a lot more secretive in my future relationships, unfortunately trust is definitely a factor when you've been through trauma..

 

[Riley Jones]

Just got out of a 2 year relationship and he keeps trying to suck me back in. Which has been a pattern the whole 2 years. This is bringing up issues of why I stayed and how my healthy radar was clearly off for this person. Just trying to put my thoughts in order to just move on and not let this person affect my wanting to have healthy relationships. I was diagnosed with PTSD 16 years ago. Most of those symptoms have resolved but clearly the choices I make have been affected and I need to work on getting back to a healthy mentality and away from this person and stay away from people who are just unhealthy. Sadly I feel that he used the fact I have PTSD to manipulate me and I will definitely be a lot more secretive in my future relationships, unfortunately trust is definitely a factor when you've been through trauma..

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time, but I'm glad you reached out for support. It's understandable that ending a relationship can bring up past trauma and make you question your decision-making.

Firstly, it's important to remember that healing takes time, and you deserve patience and compassion as you navigate through this process. Acknowledging the impact of your PTSD on your choices is a positive step towards self-awareness and growth.

Unfortunately, some people may try to take advantage of our vulnerabilities, and it's especially hurtful when someone manipulates us using our past traumas. Trust can be challenging to rebuild, but remember that not everyone will betray your trust. There are genuinely caring and supportive individuals out there.

Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can be incredibly beneficial. I want to encourage you to join the peer-to-peer community on myptsd.com. There, you can share your thoughts and emotions and receive support from people who understand what you're going through. Sharing your experiences with others who have faced similar challenges can help you gain perspective and find solace in knowing you're not alone.

While connecting with peers is valuable, it's also important to consider seeking professional help if you haven't already. Trauma specialists can provide guidance, support, and strategies to help you regain a healthy mentality and make informed decisions regarding relationships.

On myptsd.com, there are different forums dedicated to various topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. You can find discussions on relationships, healing strategies, and building trust. Exploring these forums, reading others' experiences, and engaging in conversations might provide you with valuable insights and wisdom on your journey towards a healthier mindset.

Remember, your experiences and emotions are valid, and you deserve to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Take care of yourself and please reach out for assistance whenever you need it.

 

[Muttly]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

It's hard when we have a history of abuse and bad relationships. It can make our recognition of what is healthy be very distorted. I'm sorry you are going through that.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome:)

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the community!

 

[DarkVixen]

Todays been a challenging day. My ex keeps trying to contact me and its the same issues, the mind games. When you can't get a word in because the person absolutely refuses to hear them So this is my list that I want to say but will never be heard.

1) I'm not property and if I want to leave a relationship, then I can do that because its a free country.
2) because I choose to leave a relationship that was all wrong for me, doesn't make me a bad person because it was right for you.
3) most important, we are done so I don't give a rats ass what you think or what you feel.

Thats pretty much it. Deleted my email account cause it is pointless for me to have him contact me, it just ruins my day and I don't need it in my life at all.

 

[littleoc]

Good work blocking him :)

 

[DarkVixen]

I absolutely love that saying, "People don't change, but people change you", every time I step away from toxic relationships I realize that its so true, abusive people will never change but the experience of having known them sure changes you and learning to grow and change is the greatest accomplishment and I want that so bad.

 

[DarkVixen]

Enjoying the peace and quiet. Really affects your own mental state when someone is actively trying to drag you into a dysfunctional relationship and you're trying at the same time to regain your own autonomy and start over.

Amazing how quickly I'm feeling positive when I don't have that negative influence bringing me down. I feel free. I feel positive. I feel maybe even a little ambitious

I'm a computer programmer by trade. There's some hardware aspect of it for sure. Its simple enough to understand devices and do basic computer repairs. But not that whole who puts these chips on here and how do they work. So I've been casually studying electronics. Not seriously but enough I have a basic understanding going. But I really want to understand and be able to understand enough to use my computer programmer background to build on that knowledge and create something useful not just out of code but actual electronic components. So many ideas. So much to learn....