Valentina Sudia
New Here
I just joined this site and feel some relief that I can freely express myself....only a few people in my life know bits and pieces about what happened to me, and 2 people know everything, but not with much detail.
I have 2 somewhat "well off" parents who are still together and have a relatively happy marriage from what I see and a younger brother, I'm in my 30's. My mom was my abuser, physically and sexually. (my dad was emotionally neglectful) I started therapy for 3 years at 20 years old for only the physical part.
I didn't know I was sexually abused until I was 30. At that point I started having digestive problems (wheat-gluten). The therapy in my early 20's was tremendously helpful for me. I was a very troubled young girl with depression, suicidal thoughts, despair, grief, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, to name a few problems. I have grown into a pretty successful adult and am very happy, into exercise, volunteering, travelling, etc.
I live within half an hour of my parents and see them regularly. I confronted my mom about the physical abuse but not the sexual. The realization of the sexual abuse at 30 really threw me for a loop. I don't know what to do with it. I have an"ok" relationship with my mom, she has issues (that might be getting worse as she gets older- things seemed great for a while, while I was in my 20's with her) and I am just trying to look out for me. I don't know if I should confront her, how often should I see her, etc. I know I don't want to confront her. I want to do what will be best for me. I want to know if it's healthy that I see them.
Sometimes I have great times and sometimes I am triggered and I try to deal with it. My only issue now is that I am still not in a relationship. I have only had 3 relationships and none of the 3 have been with healthy men. I only date and don't become attached. I want to have a healthy relationship. I don't know if I can ever get married/have kids. I don't know if I can deal with it emotionally. I know I want to (somewhat). My brother has been able to get married and it seems he has a good relationship. He was not abused as far as I know, but he did witness me physically getting abused and has had his own problems with that. (anxiety, etc.)
I have 2 somewhat "well off" parents who are still together and have a relatively happy marriage from what I see and a younger brother, I'm in my 30's. My mom was my abuser, physically and sexually. (my dad was emotionally neglectful) I started therapy for 3 years at 20 years old for only the physical part.
I didn't know I was sexually abused until I was 30. At that point I started having digestive problems (wheat-gluten). The therapy in my early 20's was tremendously helpful for me. I was a very troubled young girl with depression, suicidal thoughts, despair, grief, an eating disorder, sleeping disorder, to name a few problems. I have grown into a pretty successful adult and am very happy, into exercise, volunteering, travelling, etc.
I live within half an hour of my parents and see them regularly. I confronted my mom about the physical abuse but not the sexual. The realization of the sexual abuse at 30 really threw me for a loop. I don't know what to do with it. I have an"ok" relationship with my mom, she has issues (that might be getting worse as she gets older- things seemed great for a while, while I was in my 20's with her) and I am just trying to look out for me. I don't know if I should confront her, how often should I see her, etc. I know I don't want to confront her. I want to do what will be best for me. I want to know if it's healthy that I see them.
Sometimes I have great times and sometimes I am triggered and I try to deal with it. My only issue now is that I am still not in a relationship. I have only had 3 relationships and none of the 3 have been with healthy men. I only date and don't become attached. I want to have a healthy relationship. I don't know if I can ever get married/have kids. I don't know if I can deal with it emotionally. I know I want to (somewhat). My brother has been able to get married and it seems he has a good relationship. He was not abused as far as I know, but he did witness me physically getting abused and has had his own problems with that. (anxiety, etc.)
