Hi there,
I've been watching this forum for a while, but have been too anxious to post myself. I have this huge fear of saying something wrong and being rejected. I'm actually pretty shaky and crying while I'm typing this.
My name is Faolán and I live in Scotland. I've been through several abusive relationships and have been suffering from untreated PTSD for the past 10 years. I never talked to anyone about what happened and the only support I've had during that time was my dog, who is now very old and senile :cry:.
I started therapy a few months ago. I had wanted to do this for years but never managed to reach out for help. I'm glad that I did. My therapist is specialised in PTSD and very gentle in his approach. We're taking baby steps and have been trying to ground and stabilise me. I felt pretty much OK for the past 3 weeks, up to the point where I denied that I had any problems and was about to quit therapy. But I have a lot on my plate right now. One thing led to another and I had a sudden and unexpected crash yesterday. I'm just feeling so, so lonely because I have absolutely no one who understands how I feel. I tell myself to keep going and I know there will be light again at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it's just so hard to believe.
I have a very patient partner, but he is constantly and unconsciously triggering my fight/flight response and since we started digging into difficult stuff in therapy, I've become very snappy around him and things are going a bit rocky. After a few weeks of therapy I was finally able to open up and tell him how I feel about things, and I was able to reach out to him for support. I find that very difficult to do at the moment and completely retreated into my protective shell letting nobody in although I need it so much right now :cry:.
I'm sorry for all that rambling. I just needed to get this out :(
I've been watching this forum for a while, but have been too anxious to post myself. I have this huge fear of saying something wrong and being rejected. I'm actually pretty shaky and crying while I'm typing this.
My name is Faolán and I live in Scotland. I've been through several abusive relationships and have been suffering from untreated PTSD for the past 10 years. I never talked to anyone about what happened and the only support I've had during that time was my dog, who is now very old and senile :cry:.
I started therapy a few months ago. I had wanted to do this for years but never managed to reach out for help. I'm glad that I did. My therapist is specialised in PTSD and very gentle in his approach. We're taking baby steps and have been trying to ground and stabilise me. I felt pretty much OK for the past 3 weeks, up to the point where I denied that I had any problems and was about to quit therapy. But I have a lot on my plate right now. One thing led to another and I had a sudden and unexpected crash yesterday. I'm just feeling so, so lonely because I have absolutely no one who understands how I feel. I tell myself to keep going and I know there will be light again at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it's just so hard to believe.
I have a very patient partner, but he is constantly and unconsciously triggering my fight/flight response and since we started digging into difficult stuff in therapy, I've become very snappy around him and things are going a bit rocky. After a few weeks of therapy I was finally able to open up and tell him how I feel about things, and I was able to reach out to him for support. I find that very difficult to do at the moment and completely retreated into my protective shell letting nobody in although I need it so much right now :cry:.
I'm sorry for all that rambling. I just needed to get this out :(
