When my sister and mother were killed in the auto accident, I’d completely stopped eating. Only later the following evening had I realized that I hadn’t consumed any food nor water. I think I must have been stuck in dissociation. Weeks later, I’d often prepare my meals yet forget to eat them.I lost my ability to feel hunger (and later thirst) with my dissociation and numbing symptoms. Unfortunately, mine became pretty much constant within less than a year of them starting. That was in 2015.
Then too, my father was at home dying. He lived 4 more weeks. I very much hated waking up every morning because for a split-second I’d think everything was normal — then, suddenly this treaded reality would hit me like a ton of brick.
I can’t eat when feeling intensely sad yet, I can eat when feeling angry. That was once an earlier problem for me. My second T helped me resolve my ‘anger eating’ habit when he advised me to keep a food diary which helped me become more consciously aware of my binge eating.
Because my meals are no longer family social events, I also think this has taken a toll on my desire to eat. I don’t enjoy it that much. Sweet carbohydrates will stimulate my appetite yet, these I try to avoid.