Kick Abusers Out Of Your Life......

[Anarchy]

Hi Shimmerz,
I'll start a fresh thread for that. the subject can get very contentious, very quickly.

 

[Kintsugi]

No idea if this is what @Anarchy was saying, but I'd like to add that adoptive parents (at least those who adopt "from birth" [or early early infancy]) seem to get the same treatment.

My parents (adoptive) were not my abusers, but god help me if I say they handled my incestuous abuse (from an adopted brother as well) poorly, that I need to lessen contact with them, or, unholy of unholies, cut off contact for awhile due to the damage they inflicted surrounding my trauma.

Edited for a post script:
A small minority of people seem to believe that if I had been with my "real" parents, abuse would not have scathed me. They are wrong. My biological family had just as much abuse in it that would have surely damaged me as well. Abusive adopted brother, abusive biological father... there's no use ruminating on dead-end what-ifs in such a situation.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

My mother wants me to reconcile with my abuser eldest brother, UH... Don't think so. You stand your ground @Solara and like you say Screw her. Big :hug:s

 

[ms spock]

Even though Freud had gone to such lengths to avoid publicly inculpating fathers, he remained so distressed by his seduction theory that within a year he repudiated it entirely. He concluded that his patients' numerous reports of sexual abuse were untrue. This conclusion was based not on any new evidence from patients, but rather on Freud's own growing unwillingness to believe that licentious behavior on the part of fathers could be so widespread.

And his inaccuracies have caused a lot of problems.

Abusers count on this. They know society doesn't want to know, so when called out they simply blame the victim(s). Society is good with that.

It is convenient.

 

[Anarchy]

Abusers also play on the shame aspect. none of us wants to admit to having been victimized, whether by force or by subterfuge. and we tend to be good at blaming ourselves.

 

[Numbalina]

Abusers also play on the shame aspect. none of us wants to admit to having been victimized, whether by force or by subterfuge. and we tend to be good at blaming ourselves.

It's the guilt. The loads and tons and overbearing guilt!