A couple of months ago I was asleep in the bedroom and I woke up to hear J talking to someone in the living room. His voice was calm so I fell right back to sleep. When we woke up for work I asked who he was talking to. I assumed it was his brother on the phone. Nope. Someone knocked on our door at 3 o'clock in the morning.
J sleeps in the living room a lot. His vigilance is in overdrive during the night. He can hear everything when he's "sleeping" so he knew someone was coming up the steps. And the outside motion lights came on. He answered the door. Only cracked it a little and there is a baseball bat right by the door.
Some weirdo "wanted to talk and hang out". J cussed him out and told him he must be drunk or f#cking stupid to knock on our door in the middle of the night. Told him to get off our property....
While J was telling me all of this I was thinking I can't believe he was so calm talking to this guy. I thought if that ever happened J would put his hands on someone. He didn't.
He was calm on the outside but I knew he was freaking out on the inside. And I knew it kicked ptsd into overdrive.
His sleep is bad already. After this happened he was in bad shape for weeks. After
I would fall asleep he would go to the living room. Started keeping a knife nearby, again. Angry. Worried about me. etc. etc.
We never found out who it was because J didn't know him and I didn't see him.
I have to say the motion lights are awesome. We have a couple in the yard and one at the bottom of the stairs so J was able to see who was coming up the stairs before opening the door. J is a protector and he needed to make sure the man was OK and not in any danger before he cussed him out.
It enforced his reasoning for all of his safety measures.
Sorry for the long story just want to let you know you're not alone in your feelings. A knock at the door at any time of the day or night is enough to worry anyone and it would definitely set ptsd symptoms off.
Get some motion lights and the doorbell camera is cool too. We're looking into them now.
That would send me into high alert into the next day, after something like that I don't think I'd even be able to sleep. Thankfully nothing like that has ever happened to me before. Whenever I'm here and someone drives up and comes in, that is enough to make my heart skip a beat often even if nothing is happening. Too many things involving that have happened before on that note. In fact that's how a lot of situations started. Car pulls up, loud people/yelling, door slams open, and it's all downhill from there. I am also a knife sleeper, it's like my teddy bear. I started doing that a long time ago when I was in a different situation, it just makes me feel somewhat safer.