Layout of Rooms - Back To The Walls, Doors In View

[batgirl]

Yeah that's a good way of looking at it too Claire. Mine isn't very positive, sorry!

PS. What is Tim Hortons?

Tim Horton's is a coffee shop where you can also get food, it's extremely popular here in Canada. There's even a Tim Horton's on the Canadian base where my uncle was stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Tim Horton was a hockey player originally, hence the name.

 

[becvan]

Timmy's has great coffee.. but way way too many windows.

I only go there when my anxiety is really low and usually very late at night (like 3am) to sit otherwise, I do drive through.

I watch doors windows, placement of objects, everywhere. At home, at dads whereever I go. In fact when I walk in a place, the first thing I do is "scope" it out before I find where I will go to sit.
bec

 

[batgirl]

I only go there when my anxiety is really low and usually very late at night (like 3am) to sit otherwise, I do drive through.

Oh I've never been to Tim's late at night... maybe it would be different for me then. However I guess I'll never know, because a certain person who shall remain nameless would never let me go out that late anyways!! :tongue:

 

[anthony]

Very very normal Evie... to say the least. It is one of the attributes that helps a physician know if PTSD is present actually, because the person will always have their back to a wall, door generally in view incase someone walks through it, or opens it, windows in view so there are no surprises. Anxiety....

 

[cookie]

i can definately understand this for a lot of reasons (soldiers, etc.) i have a little trouble understanding why it affects me. my husband thinks it is funny that i want to sit certain places in resturants, church, etc.

 

[anthony]

It is a combination of control, our exaggerated startle response, and needing to see everything to control anxiety levels.

 

[Eagle3]

Boy, it's nice to know this is a common symptom. Even when anxiety levels are low, I have to face the door, and I have to be able to see everything going on around me to make sure that nothing takes me by surprise. At work, while digging or weeding, I am almost constantly looking up to see where any people are and watch their movement patterns, making sure they aren't coming near me. I can't tell if there is any anxiety involved in the constant landscape-perusals, but they have to happen, or I get grouchy. Gotta see, gotta be ready, gotta have an escape route.

 

[anthony]

Exposure therapy helps move past this Eagle, being you intentionally go and sit yourself in the middle of restaurants, you get anxious, but afterwards you look at the facts, being "nothing bad happened to me sitting in the middle, having my back exposed, not seeing windows and doors, it was all in my head."

 

[Deleted member 93]

I am actually being forced to change this now and it is getting easier. Anthony had suggested when I discovered an exposed back triggered me to push it. Continue the exposure. Well, the layout of this new house has helped with that. I have a front door out of view due to the entry hall being completely enclosed and fairly deep and no front windows except my kitchen and it is high (some bedrooms face out front so big windows there), I cannot see out front at all or who is coming or when they get here. I was used to seeing people coming at my old house and the long driveway. More of the living area layout is a couple big windows and a glass door all facing unfenced back yard facing an alley and on top of it I am on a corner so road runs right there too. But the way the cable is layed it is on the only whole wall. So entertainment center must go there. The other full wall is mostly fire place and has the backdoor and windows. I have no choice but my sofa be backed by the back door and acts to seperate the dining and living area so it is open behind me. Only place for my arm chair is to have an open back facing garage door entry from the mud room. I am "exposed" all the way around. I am enjoying my open widows now more for the birds outside and sunshine (need to go toss some seed again) not to be watchful. No coffee table anymore as well... It for some reason it did not react well with a fit I threw. So no blocks in here either, it is open space. I would encourage more to go with rearranging. It is painful at first, but in this house there simply are just no fast exits and easy to be cornered plus no way to not be exposed and it is helping me now.

I still come out of my skin when the dog barks but I know having my living area rearranged has helped me learn to ease up and my old ways and set up actually encouraged these feelings to keep going. I am learning the painful way I do not need to be as "paranoid" as I was at all times and I am learning to relax at home.

 

[batgirl]

Thanks for the input everyone. Good to know how common it is.

That's great you're working on exposure with it veiled. I wish I could too, but there's just too many things happening right now, I have to concentrate on other stuff. I guess I need to learn some patience.

 

[kers]

Veiled, that's awesome. It gives me hope that I can get out of this place of weirdness!

I have to be able to face doors, but I also need to be as far away from windows and additional dorrways as possible, with my back facing the wall. I can't even sleep on my side, because that means facing away from the door or the window!

 

[Deleted member 93]

Evie and kers, it takes time. You go slowly into things one thing at a time. It gets easier over time. I never realized how bad off I would be the first time I was forced to sit in open space. But that was months ago, I have been at this new arrangement about 6 weeks and am still getting accustomed to it. Just don't expect it to happen over night. Like all of our obstacles it takes time but it does take action too. Just don't do too much at once at any of this, but when you get comfortable don't stop because it feels good, keep pushing your limits just a little further. It is easy to tell when you went too far.