"learn To Accept Your Position In Life"

[StarChild]

Hi @EveHarrington, I wasn't able to read your whole thread. But I read your post # 35. And I remembered something: I once watched kind of a documentary about a movement that calls itself: Cuddle Party Movement. It's only for cuddling, nothing else, nothing more. And that's no joke. So you maybe want to have a look at the following links I put in for you?

http://www.al.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2015/12/what_the_heck_is_a_cuddle_part.html

(....Or just google: cuddle party or snuggle house)

 

[EveHarrington]

@Ragdoll Circus

I'm not ready for that step.

I also do not believe a random hug here or there is going to satisfy my need for human touch.

I'm stuck at age 13. I want someone to cuddle with. Cuddling is a relationship thing where sex is expected/required at some point.

I need to stop talking about this right now. Maybe just give up? I see no way out.

 

[EveHarrington]

@TreeHugger

I've looked into cuddling services. They're too expensive for me.

I'd also feel that it was fake because it's like paying for sex. The other person isn't there because they care about you genuinely; they provide a service for a fee.

I feel like I'm asking for something that doesn't exist. Maybe I need to simply accept that I won't be having sex ever again, won't be entering any relationships again, and won't have my need for touch by someone who cares without expecting sex met.

Maybe I shouldn't be asking here because I don't think these issues are a part of the PTSD criteria.

 

[EveHarrington]

Spinning BAD. I can't seem to figure out what is real and what is not. Doesn't feel like a grounding issue. Feels more like an I'm going insane issue. Last time this happened I just walked away; never bothered to separate the real from the unreal.

Thought I'd be ok-----someone I've known for a few years, someone I considered a friend asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. He knows I want to find real love. He knows I don't want another "just sex" situation. He knows about this other guy who twisted me to do bad things.

My mind freaks out. I totally shut down and go into self punishment mode. I think that if my friends view me as only good for sex then maybe it's true? I think that maybe that guy wasn't wrong for twisting me into doing all of those sex acts. Maybe he was just seeing me for who I am? I contacted him and he asks to meet me. I hate myself so much right now that I say yes. I expect what I've gotten before but now I want more. I want it to hurt, I want it to be violent. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I want to be punished.

I don't expect anyone to understand and that is ok.

If you can't beat em, maybe you should just join em.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't expect anyone to understand and that is ok.

I think there are more people who understand this than you think.

(((((Eve))))), please try and be gentle with yourself. I know it is a hard thing to do.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I think you need better friends, if that's what they think of you. You are not here to be used like that, but you won't hear that from ones who just want to do exactly that. Don't hurt yourself. I know that people are mostly crap, and a lot of them obsessed with sex, but there are decent people in the world too. Unfortunately, they're rarer, so harder to find, but when you do, you can see just how much you are truly worth.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"Learn to accept your position in life"

I love this phrase and i think (i think) this is sorta what i said second to last reply in the other thread. Had no clue this one existed.

For me, sort of meeting myself where i am, took a long time to get and even more to start to do but its making every place ok as its where i am.

 

[EveHarrington]

Actually @lostforgottensoul it was said by the lovely guy I mentioned in the other thread. He meant that I should learn to accept my position in life as a worthless nobody who is here just to give him sexual pleasure no matter how disgusting and depraved it is.

Imma gonna barf.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Oh god @EveHarrington no f*cking way, then i take that back about doing more with him. Sorry, i think i ended up getting 2 guys confused?

But that is so not correct but if where you are is that thought, then meet yourself there as thats where you are.

If thats not where you are and only what he said then cool cause he's totally wrong.

I think this "meeting yourself where you are" and "accept your position in life" are the same or at least related?

Maybe not and maybe im way off topic, and if so i appologize, just sort of see the two the same. Either way its takes a ton of practice for sure.

 

[EveHarrington]

Lol

@lostforgottensoul The guy who said this crap is the guy who I have slept with in the past, not the friend. The friend and I are cool, no issues or worries as we talked things out.

The guy who said this crap to me is the guy who messaged me yesterday and in a moment of extreme weakness asked to meet because yanno when you're craving affection and punishment so bad you just forget about the horrible side of it all and tell yourself that you'll put up with it all just to get that human touch and/or punishment.

Thank GOD you bumped this up because I needed a reminder of how horrible he treats me!

I deserve better gosh darn it!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I deserve better gosh darn it!

Amen! Sorry for getting the 2 confused.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

There are people who are fine with cuddling, even intimate cuddling, and don't want to go all the way to sex because they just don't want it. It's a spectrum though—some don't want touch, some really do, and everything in between. There are even some who are fine with sex if their partner desires it. Life is complicated.

Look for asexual people. No, we are not emotionless robots who never need the touch of another human being—even the ones without romantic tendencies, i.e. aromantic asexuals. There are heteroromantic asexual folks, homoromantic asexual folks, and biromantic/panromantic asexual folks. (The last one is me.)

Unfortunately I don't know of a dating service equivalent for *romantic asexual people. :/

Anyways, we are totally out there.