Hello I'm new to this forum.I'm actually less stressed to tell people on this site about me as I feel people would understand. I'm 25 and recently learned to accept that I was raped by my ex bf at the age of 20. I learned to suppress that encounter because I refused to admit someone I've loved and trusted would do something like that to me. However that has affected me in many ways such as being terrified of getting checked by a doctor down there. I've always thought it was just nervousness but it's far more than that when I feel someone is hurting me down there. Therefore I've never had a Pap smear because I'm terrified and the first time trying to get one I felt like someone was putting knives in there. I suffer from PTSD due to a traumatic incident that occurred last year. I actually made an appointment with my moms doctor to get a physical exam. I decided to take my then fiancé to it because I was scared and anxious. I felt getting it from a female doctor would be better but i was wrong. She humiliated me and thought it was funny to have him there. After numerous attempts to get it down. She told me if I was raped or why the big fuss of getting a papsmear? She said that if I couldn't get something simple down imagine going through child labor. I felt like I've failed and after that incident I'm more terrified of doctors. Now my anxiety increased and fell like I'm a failed woman... my husband is very supportive and I'm currently seeking therapy. I want to get passed this but sometimes I get negative thoughts about whether I will ever be able to get one or have children..... thank you for taking your time to read my story.....
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Sufferer Learning to face and accept that i'm a rape victim and have ptsd
- Post starter Stephhhh
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Welcome to the forum @Stephhhh !
You're not alone in dealing with going to the doctor and the terror it evokes. I'm still working through that.
Glad to see you seeking out a therapist. Make certain it's a trauma specialist. I didn't know the difference until getting on this site and sharing and reading. It's making a huge difference in my life.
You're not alone in dealing with going to the doctor and the terror it evokes. I'm still working through that.
Glad to see you seeking out a therapist. Make certain it's a trauma specialist. I didn't know the difference until getting on this site and sharing and reading. It's making a huge difference in my life.
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Thank you! I didn't know these forums existed and it makes me feel like i am not alone anymore. I don't share it because I am embarrassed...I dont know if my therapist is a traumatic specialist but she is very understanding. And how are you doing so far? What do you do if you need to see a doctor? My therapist suggested to ask for a relaxant that it will help but I wish I knew someone who has been in my shoes......
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Chances are she does not specialize in trauma. Most therapists don't and trauma therapists need to be sought out.
I suggest seeking out a psychiatrist. Do NOT ask for "relaxants" as this will likely be seen as drug seeking behavior.
I suggest seeking out a psychiatrist. Do NOT ask for "relaxants" as this will likely be seen as drug seeking behavior.
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Justmehere
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Welcome to the forums!
Ugh, that sounds like a terrible experience with that doctor. I struggled with pelvic pain after being raped. It made sex and pelvic exams really awfully painful. I had a female ob/gyn say really dumb stuff too... I never went back and found a new ob/gyn who was a lot better. So much better.
There are a number of pelvic conditions, some psychosomatic, that can develop after rape that can cause very real pain.
I'd suggest calling around and looking for an ob/gyn with experience with pelvic pain after trauma. They will hopefully be able find some successful interventions, along with the work you have begun in therapy. I wouldn't yet write off the ability to have children. I can understand why you are concerned, but that's an extreme conclusion to make without getting a more complete work up done medically and working on solutions to get through pelvic exams.
Is your therapist trained in treating trauma? Have they confirmed that you have PTSD?
A trauma therapist will teach grounding skills that involve a lot more than breathing techniques alone - but breathing techniques will probably be an important tool to keep working on. The pain may be there in part because you are so fearful and slow deep breathing helps the brain send signals to the body to lessen the fight or flight fear response, which will help cope with the pain. People are taught breathing techniques to cope with the pain of child birth because it helps the brain and body cope with such pain.
Ugh, that sounds like a terrible experience with that doctor. I struggled with pelvic pain after being raped. It made sex and pelvic exams really awfully painful. I had a female ob/gyn say really dumb stuff too... I never went back and found a new ob/gyn who was a lot better. So much better.
There are a number of pelvic conditions, some psychosomatic, that can develop after rape that can cause very real pain.
I'd suggest calling around and looking for an ob/gyn with experience with pelvic pain after trauma. They will hopefully be able find some successful interventions, along with the work you have begun in therapy. I wouldn't yet write off the ability to have children. I can understand why you are concerned, but that's an extreme conclusion to make without getting a more complete work up done medically and working on solutions to get through pelvic exams.
Is your therapist trained in treating trauma? Have they confirmed that you have PTSD?
The rape from 5 years ago is the trauma that could lead to later development of PTSD. The doctor making dumb and hurtful comments during a pelvic exam? Not actually an event that would lead to the development of PTSD. It certainly could trigger and stir up PTSD symptoms from the past rape --- and that's a really important distinction to make. The real work will be to eventually process the rape itself.
A trauma therapist will teach grounding skills that involve a lot more than breathing techniques alone - but breathing techniques will probably be an important tool to keep working on. The pain may be there in part because you are so fearful and slow deep breathing helps the brain send signals to the body to lessen the fight or flight fear response, which will help cope with the pain. People are taught breathing techniques to cope with the pain of child birth because it helps the brain and body cope with such pain.
Hi Steph, welcome to the site. I was also raped, and I think there are a fair share of members here who can empathize too and are here to support you.
That doctor's behavior was, simply put, unacceptable and uncalled for. I hope you can find comfort in hearing this--
I'm 19 and single. I have fears about being in a relationship with someone after being raped, and it's taken me a lot of hours of therapy to be brave enough merely consider entering an intimate relationship.... The fact that you're married is a big deal after what you went through and is a nice "f you" to that doctor because you have a special person who makes you happy despite your trauma. Show that doctor wrong and have children. Raise them to be pure-hearted and have kind souls. The world is in need of those kinds of people. I hope you will not let that doctor stop you from that.
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