joeylittle
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Not what I would call boredom so much as anhedonia - inability to take enjoyment in anything. Some people can call that boredom.
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Relationship Lets Talk About Sex And Intimacy
- Post starter Nicolette
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intuition2015
New Here
Well that makes sense joeylittle and thats why im here to get everyones different opinons of how ptsd is for them and its true sweetpea that everyone is different from how and where they got ptsd. My bf has told me that ptsd for him came from being in the war and the reason he has a hard time with commitment is because the soldiers from his unit he saw killed and they were like family and had love for them. Thats why he said he has trouble knowing what love is in a relationship. And why he dont show amotion. But like i said before he did tell me he loved me about two months into our relationship and maybe almost a yr he said he doesnt know if he loves me he said its the same as with his soldiers in his unit. But he knows he cares deeply for me and that the way he shows he loves me is not by saying it but what he does for me, thats how he shows his love.
Alright, ready to learn a lot more about me than you ever wanted to know? This won't be very censored, but I'll also try not to be crude. :) These are my thoughts for those not triggered by sexual abuse, they unfortunately, have other things to consider.
For those that don't know (or don't remember) my veteran and I are in a long distance relationship, he's in the UK and I'm in the US. When I went to visit him for the first time in March, I was already ready to give it up. I was madly in love and if he was game, so was I. I made myself available, but the entire time, I let him take the lead on how close we got because I already knew he was a slow burn. Turns out he wasn't ready yet, so there was not a whole lot of action on that front. Bummer! LOL
We've flirted and been fairly explicit (before the trip) in what we like and don't like. I am very big on communication and don't view sex as shameful or think it should be a secret, especially with your partner. However, he is not super-duper comfortable, but he will indulge me. He calls me a minx, which makes me feel unbelievably sexy. He's quite a bit older than I am, so his reluctance to breach these subjects could very well be a generational thing.
I like role playing and costumes and he seemed agreeable to my ideas, including being my Army man (helloooo!). I did get the feeling he is self-conscious about being a bit overweight, he's got the classic older man beer belly going on. I certainly don't care, I'm no super model, and I love him inside and out...especially his tiny ass and chicken legs that so many men have. LOL He comments fairly often about him being in green and how he used to be "fit as f*ck." We've also talked about our proclivities like who the aggressor would be - we're both 50/50. Sometimes you like to be in charge and sometimes you don't. How adventurous we are - I’ll try anything once! – again, he seems willing to try, but is too bashful to come right out and say it.
I would assume that men in the military get around, a girl in every port kinda thing. That's fine by me, why should I care what he got up to before we knew each other? As long as there are no STDs I need to know about, I'm glad he had a good time. But his ex-wife was the jealous type, and so he really, really dislikes bringing up old relationships for fear that he'll get in trouble. Therefore, I really don't know what his habits used to be or how wild he is/was. On one hand, there is every chance he's been with several women on several continents...could even be he's been with men, as lonely soldiers seem to do when there are no other options. Would love to know the answer to that one – I think it’s rather hot. On the other, I know he was a good kid, a naive kid (as in already enlisted for several years and stationed abroad) and I just don't think screwing around all the time is in his character, but then again everyone gets shown the ropes eventually. He said on the rare occasions in the war zone he did get some down time, he just wanted to get drunk. Does drunk equals sex? I have no idea.
There are other possible issues for him that I had considered beforehand; the emotional toll PTSD takes and how it could affect his sex drive, side effects from medications, his age could also potentially put a damper on his desire/performance, and his embarrassment about not being able to pull off a kilt or leather man-skirt like Gerard Butler or Huge Jackman (who can???). Or it could be that he is a horny beast who is physically and emotionally ready for some action and the holdup is simply because he is still working through the stress that creeps up on him at the idea of a real, full-time, in your face relationship with me, and he doesn’t have sex without commitment. As a girl, this is huge! Love always makes the act better for me, I don’t do one night stands and wouldn't want to be with him if there was no love.
The flip side is, of course, that things aren't in working order. In which case, my liberal young mind has all kinds of thoughts to address whatever problems...ahem...arise. There are lots of body parts, it isn't all about insert part A into slot B. There are erogenous zones, prostate massage, clitoris, G spot, mouth, hands, fetishes, Tantra, fantasies, adult toys galore for absolutely anything you can think of, gels, Viagra, positions, start with a romantic, oily, full body massage and see where it goes, set the tone and be patient. And if all else fails, one sided gratification - IE, he can get/help me get off if it just isn't working for him at that time.
I would do everything I could to satisfy him, but it happens to everyone – sometimes you just don’t get that O. But in the meantime, you are both feeling loved, connected, accepted, and cherished. And I would bet the sufferer still gets a sense of fulfilment from the activity.
Yes, all that is about sex and affection through that type of contact. I agree with what has already been said about kisses, hugs, hand holding, terms of endearment, etc. being very important for any relationship and it can be enough if there are no other options. To me, if you’ve both accepted the reality of what is and are in the right frame of mind, and all you can do is masturbate to meet the needs of the “healthy” partner with a little help from your lover and not have full blown sex, you are still together, and your feelings will grow.
But I think given all I listed up there, there is no reason why people can’t try things out. The sky is the limit! Chances are, something will work for you both!
If you can’t be open and honest with your partner, who can you be your true self with? They love you and are with you for a reason! Drop all the negativity and enjoy what they are offering you. There will probably be some trial and error, but it will work out eventually. :)
For those that don't know (or don't remember) my veteran and I are in a long distance relationship, he's in the UK and I'm in the US. When I went to visit him for the first time in March, I was already ready to give it up. I was madly in love and if he was game, so was I. I made myself available, but the entire time, I let him take the lead on how close we got because I already knew he was a slow burn. Turns out he wasn't ready yet, so there was not a whole lot of action on that front. Bummer! LOL
We've flirted and been fairly explicit (before the trip) in what we like and don't like. I am very big on communication and don't view sex as shameful or think it should be a secret, especially with your partner. However, he is not super-duper comfortable, but he will indulge me. He calls me a minx, which makes me feel unbelievably sexy. He's quite a bit older than I am, so his reluctance to breach these subjects could very well be a generational thing.
I like role playing and costumes and he seemed agreeable to my ideas, including being my Army man (helloooo!). I did get the feeling he is self-conscious about being a bit overweight, he's got the classic older man beer belly going on. I certainly don't care, I'm no super model, and I love him inside and out...especially his tiny ass and chicken legs that so many men have. LOL He comments fairly often about him being in green and how he used to be "fit as f*ck." We've also talked about our proclivities like who the aggressor would be - we're both 50/50. Sometimes you like to be in charge and sometimes you don't. How adventurous we are - I’ll try anything once! – again, he seems willing to try, but is too bashful to come right out and say it.
I would assume that men in the military get around, a girl in every port kinda thing. That's fine by me, why should I care what he got up to before we knew each other? As long as there are no STDs I need to know about, I'm glad he had a good time. But his ex-wife was the jealous type, and so he really, really dislikes bringing up old relationships for fear that he'll get in trouble. Therefore, I really don't know what his habits used to be or how wild he is/was. On one hand, there is every chance he's been with several women on several continents...could even be he's been with men, as lonely soldiers seem to do when there are no other options. Would love to know the answer to that one – I think it’s rather hot. On the other, I know he was a good kid, a naive kid (as in already enlisted for several years and stationed abroad) and I just don't think screwing around all the time is in his character, but then again everyone gets shown the ropes eventually. He said on the rare occasions in the war zone he did get some down time, he just wanted to get drunk. Does drunk equals sex? I have no idea.
There are other possible issues for him that I had considered beforehand; the emotional toll PTSD takes and how it could affect his sex drive, side effects from medications, his age could also potentially put a damper on his desire/performance, and his embarrassment about not being able to pull off a kilt or leather man-skirt like Gerard Butler or Huge Jackman (who can???). Or it could be that he is a horny beast who is physically and emotionally ready for some action and the holdup is simply because he is still working through the stress that creeps up on him at the idea of a real, full-time, in your face relationship with me, and he doesn’t have sex without commitment. As a girl, this is huge! Love always makes the act better for me, I don’t do one night stands and wouldn't want to be with him if there was no love.
The flip side is, of course, that things aren't in working order. In which case, my liberal young mind has all kinds of thoughts to address whatever problems...ahem...arise. There are lots of body parts, it isn't all about insert part A into slot B. There are erogenous zones, prostate massage, clitoris, G spot, mouth, hands, fetishes, Tantra, fantasies, adult toys galore for absolutely anything you can think of, gels, Viagra, positions, start with a romantic, oily, full body massage and see where it goes, set the tone and be patient. And if all else fails, one sided gratification - IE, he can get/help me get off if it just isn't working for him at that time.
I would do everything I could to satisfy him, but it happens to everyone – sometimes you just don’t get that O. But in the meantime, you are both feeling loved, connected, accepted, and cherished. And I would bet the sufferer still gets a sense of fulfilment from the activity.
Yes, all that is about sex and affection through that type of contact. I agree with what has already been said about kisses, hugs, hand holding, terms of endearment, etc. being very important for any relationship and it can be enough if there are no other options. To me, if you’ve both accepted the reality of what is and are in the right frame of mind, and all you can do is masturbate to meet the needs of the “healthy” partner with a little help from your lover and not have full blown sex, you are still together, and your feelings will grow.
But I think given all I listed up there, there is no reason why people can’t try things out. The sky is the limit! Chances are, something will work for you both!
If you can’t be open and honest with your partner, who can you be your true self with? They love you and are with you for a reason! Drop all the negativity and enjoy what they are offering you. There will probably be some trial and error, but it will work out eventually. :)
I am glad I have found this. I'm struggling so much to be intimate with my partner of nearly 3 years, the first 2 were fine until I went to court and re a historical sexual abuse case where I gave evidence, as a victim of the abuse...I was diagnosed with ptsd 6 months later...i can barely let my partner touch me. I was trapped and assaulted twice after the abuse. I had EMDR therapy and take medication ...it's driving me crazy, i feel so sad when I reject him, sometimes he feels it's him, it's not! :( I feel so lost...
intuition2015
New Here
Smit67 i feel what your saying but mine is the other way around its my bf with ptsd but his is not from sexual abuse. His is from the war and our sex life was great for the first 3 to 6 months. Then i dont know what happened hes not in the mood to much he tells me that its his ptsd kicking in, but sometimes i wonder if its really just me. Mine is a little different from your situation but still im guessing from what im told by him and a couple others thats why im here to learn much more of how ptsd is. I hope you can get some good help here to so far i have found some great information.
J
JP11
I suffer from combat related PTSD, and my libido is shot. My wife(4 years) and I have switched roles where she practically begs for it which makes me feel awful when I turn her down because I'm just not in the mood for lack of a better word. It has put a real strain in our relationship since she thinks it's her side, we've been to counselling and I quit all my meds and focus on coping skills when I disregulate, so meds aren't an excuse anymore. I still find my wife sexually attractive, I just can't bring myself to do it. I just feel backed in a corner and I'm afraid she might resort to something drastic. We do it at least monthly(longest was 4 MO without), but it's not enough to satiate her desires.
Thank all of you for your comments. My wife suffers from PTSD and bi polar disorder from the loss of her 2 children in a hurendos accident. We're have been through a lot, a divorce and some rough times but are back together now. The thing I can't understand is exactly the problems I'm reading about. When we first got together sex and intimacy wasn't that big a problem but now that we have worked through a lot of issues and have gotten mist everything talked out this has become the white elephant in the room for me. I try to continually to express my love and desire for her but each time the subject is brought up she gets withdrawn. Any advice?
JP
JP
T
Thewoundedwarrior
I'm a ptsd sufferer have been since i got back from my fourth and last tour of afghanistan in 2011. I really can't keep an erection or last long ( i didn't have any problems before my first deployment to iraq during operation iraqi freedom i lasted for at least an hour bfore) when me and my wife have sex. The doctor has put it down to my medication that i'm on for it. But i don't buy it. I started to go like that not long after coming back from iraq in 2007. I have tried allsorts of things to keep it up and last longer but nothing seems to work.
catlover26
Silver Member
Well since ya'll brought it up here I go trying to explain my confusing situation. Some of you may feel I am old fashioned but I won't have sex outside of marriage. My Vet is 15 yrs older than me and he will say he has problems with an erection anyway and the VA won't give him anything because he has a history of seizures but then he will say he doesn't want to get so aroused he gets 'blue balls' with no relief.
After we first started dating almost 2 years ago things were really 'romantic' and we were going as far as I felt comfortable but then I thought we crossed the line a little bit and told him we needed to stop. He seemed to be ok with this but confused. He has been married several times and is an Alcoholic and doesn't understand going 'half way' on some things if you understand what I mean. We talked about it so much what we could and couldn't do that he would get too confused and doesn't like conflicting issues anyway.
So now we are at the point where he thinks we are fine just having little pecks as kisses and hugs. He doesn't really understand the importance of us having some closeness of even sitting on the couch next to each other. He thinks it will lead to other things.
I personally think he might be frustrated because he is not able to get an erection and anything to bring one on is just a reminder that that part of his life is not functioning anymore. I think it is probably medication related.
So without any closeness like that I feel our relationship sometimes is not much more than a friendship or it will end up that way. He doesn't see it that way because he says his feelings are the same. Don't know that anything can be done because he won't change the way he feels.
I read back where I wrote something last June. Same 'ol same 'ol but worse. He doesn't walk me to the car anymore so we don't have those quiet more romantic moments.
After we first started dating almost 2 years ago things were really 'romantic' and we were going as far as I felt comfortable but then I thought we crossed the line a little bit and told him we needed to stop. He seemed to be ok with this but confused. He has been married several times and is an Alcoholic and doesn't understand going 'half way' on some things if you understand what I mean. We talked about it so much what we could and couldn't do that he would get too confused and doesn't like conflicting issues anyway.
So now we are at the point where he thinks we are fine just having little pecks as kisses and hugs. He doesn't really understand the importance of us having some closeness of even sitting on the couch next to each other. He thinks it will lead to other things.
I personally think he might be frustrated because he is not able to get an erection and anything to bring one on is just a reminder that that part of his life is not functioning anymore. I think it is probably medication related.
So without any closeness like that I feel our relationship sometimes is not much more than a friendship or it will end up that way. He doesn't see it that way because he says his feelings are the same. Don't know that anything can be done because he won't change the way he feels.
I read back where I wrote something last June. Same 'ol same 'ol but worse. He doesn't walk me to the car anymore so we don't have those quiet more romantic moments.
Last edited:
LostHusband
New Here
I am glad I found this site. I confirmed this past year that my wife was sexually violated by her boss nearly 11 years ago (8 years into our marriage). She never told me. There were many, many little things over the years that never made sense until she said something negative about her boss for the first time. A light bulb went on and it seemed like I put together an impossible puzzle in a matter of minutes. I had started to get counseling myself a few months ago because I was feeling so alone in my own house. It's been beneficial but relief didn't begin until I gently let her know that I had figured out what "possibly" happened to her and she generally confirmed it. My wife has been a little more self aware now and I have asked her to seek counceling though it hasn't happened yet. She's been sleeping on the couch for the last 4 years due to my snoring she said though I knew it had to be more than that since intimacy had been non-existent. I just came to realize this past year after "discovering" her secret that PTSD had become prevalent and has gotten much worse. Before I confronted her I had gotten to the point of wondering what it would be like to be with someone who appreciates me. At that point I knew I needed to find out if our relationship could be saved. The overwhelming feeling of being rejected so many times over the years still is a problem because it's still hard for her to even hug me. Im a very affectionate person so the lack of it had been brutal for me. I'm very hopeful she will seek help. Our only child will leave for college in a couple of years and I'm hopeful we can demonstrate a healthy relationship before he leaves. I'm definitely afraid of the example that's been set. My heart hurts so much for my wife because she was all of the things that I value but she now lost. I know that she must have died inside keeping this secret. I really just want her to be healthy again so that she has a chance at being happy and in a place to embrace our relationship again. It's been amazing reading other's stories here and how much I can relate. Thank you for sharing.
A
Agnus
im struggling with this issue and I'm hurting so much that reading your comment, that there are other things in the relationship and to just let it be, angers me. For me, intimacy is a relationship and right now the physical intimacy is not there to the point where I cry, no sob, every few weeks over it. I am a very touchy person and touch is my Love Language. I love everything else about my partner but this is so painful. I feel punished by his trauma and left out in the darkness. I feel my self esteem plummeting to the point where i struggle to even care about my looks anymore. I try to stay busy and not get needy but then the anger takes over me and I lash out. The worst is that he gaslights me and makes me feel like the one with issues. I know it's his fear and shame talking but I can't help but think I'd be better off just leaving. It's gotten better in some ways but the sex is not there. We go months and he doesn't seem to care. And when we do have it, I feel so worried to do it right because I'm afraid if I don't act perfectly sexy it will be another 2-3 months until he wants to try again. And I'm starting to distrust him because I think the intimacy part is what's hardest for him. I don't think he's cheating but I feel like he's one drink night at a bar away from loveless passion, especially because he was a very actively sexual person before his trauma. Sometimes I wish I could cheat but it's not in me to do that to someone. I feel like when you become exclusive with someone and choose to love them you choose to help them feel loved. He says I make him feel loved but I know my anger makes him feel worse about himself. And Imthough I feel loved, I don't feel desired. And I'm startingto think that's even worse. Thanks for listening.
BSSupporterGB
New Here
I'm really glad I found this forum and this thread. I have been looking for support on this issue for a while, even just to know there are people out there experiencing similar things to me and can understand and be empathic to my feelings.
It has taken me a while to write this, because I have been sitting here in tears reading all the responses. Many of which I can relate to.
I hope you all don't mind me sharing part of my story and venting a little.
I met my partner 9months ago, so it's early days still I guess. He was very upfront about his PTSD. Me, being a counsellor, had some idea what that meant. Now I think, I knew nothing at all, nothing at all about being with someone who has PTSD. He is great, knows when he needs to get help and is one of the things I really admire about him.
At first he was loving, affectionate, intimate, we had sex and made love almost every time we saw each other. Then slowly over time, and especially in the last 3-4months things have gotten worse in the bedroom department and the affection/attention and intimacy department, to the point where he won't even try. I do feel rejected. All of the time. For those saying it's not rejection... it is rejection. It is the very definition of rejection. The difference is that the rejection is not because of anything I have done/said/or may look like (feeling like I don't turn him on because I am not attractive enough). This has been a hard thing to realise and it's retraining my brain to remember that. To say to myself, yes I am being rejected right now but it's not because of me. My self worth is just as important and I can't let the rejection damage that. I must remember it is not my responsibility to turn his switch on. That is up to him. And if the switch is broken due to PTSD and can't be turned on right now it is 100% not my fault.
The thing that I have come to realise is that the rules of relationships don't seem to apply. And this is the hardest thing that I am learning to accept. Or maybe not. Some days I feel like I am just not strong enough to deal with the rollercoaster of emotions that I am experiencing. The rejection. The feeling I am not loved. The feeling that I am not worthy. The passion. The listening ear. The connection. The mutual understanding.
I feel like I have to always be in a state of understanding of him and I can't express my emotions because I have to be mindful of how it will affect him. Whether he is in a good place or not. Relationships should be about understanding each other but when I don't feel like I am being understood by the one I love it hurts. It hurts when my needs are not being met. Yes some of those needs can be met through other people but there are some needs that only he can meet. One of them being the need to feel loved by him. And it's not always about expressing love for each other through sex. There are so many other ways to express love. For him, the other ways of showing love and affection lead him to believe that I am hoping that it will lead to sex, which is not true, but because he doesn't believe that or it reminds him that he can't express his love for me through sex he is pulling back in those areas. And it feels like he is purposefully pushing me away. Sometimes I feel like the PTSD is an excuse. And that is a shitty way to feel, but that is how I feel sometimes. Does having PTSD mean you can't try? Or that I am not worthy of him trying? Am I not worthy of him putting in some effort for me? It makes you feel like shit. But here I am again, having to be understanding of him and trying to pull myself out of the emotional pain I am in because it is not me. So where is the line? Am I ever going to be able to express my emotions fully? Things that other people take for granted in their relationships, like having someone just grab you and kiss you passionately and say how beautiful you are. Someone who will just drop in to see how you are? Or buy you a bunch of flowers, leave you a love note. When the PTSD and depression starts to set in those things are gone, and sometimes for months on end. It is hard. Really hard. I guess for me these are the things I need to be thinking about. Whether I can cope with that and still know that he loves me without him actually expressing it to me during those times, and during those times that are quite lengthy.
My love language is primarily touch. So I guess for me it is particularly emotionally painful. I have told him this, and I guess under different circumstances this would not be such a problem, but when intimacy and affection are the first to go when the PTSD starts to kick in and he is unable to do those things there is not a lot I can do. And I need to consider my needs and whether or not I am able to continue on with this knowing this is how it will be. I love this man, I fell in love with him for some many different reasons, so for me to even be re-considering the relationship at times is hard in itself because I am not an a**ehole and it is not something I ever thought I would consider breaking up with someone over, especially someone who I have fallen in love with. Is my love for him enough to get us through? Do I need to work on my self worth and self esteem more to make me stronger and able to cope? Probably.
Well that's my ramblings for now. It feels good to be able to write all this down and just let it out and know that there are other people going through similar issues/feelings etc. I am going to try and I'm not about to give up on us yet. There have been some really good ideas out there that I think would be useful for us and different options that are worth a try. So thank you.
Much love to you all.
xoxo
It has taken me a while to write this, because I have been sitting here in tears reading all the responses. Many of which I can relate to.
I hope you all don't mind me sharing part of my story and venting a little.
I met my partner 9months ago, so it's early days still I guess. He was very upfront about his PTSD. Me, being a counsellor, had some idea what that meant. Now I think, I knew nothing at all, nothing at all about being with someone who has PTSD. He is great, knows when he needs to get help and is one of the things I really admire about him.
At first he was loving, affectionate, intimate, we had sex and made love almost every time we saw each other. Then slowly over time, and especially in the last 3-4months things have gotten worse in the bedroom department and the affection/attention and intimacy department, to the point where he won't even try. I do feel rejected. All of the time. For those saying it's not rejection... it is rejection. It is the very definition of rejection. The difference is that the rejection is not because of anything I have done/said/or may look like (feeling like I don't turn him on because I am not attractive enough). This has been a hard thing to realise and it's retraining my brain to remember that. To say to myself, yes I am being rejected right now but it's not because of me. My self worth is just as important and I can't let the rejection damage that. I must remember it is not my responsibility to turn his switch on. That is up to him. And if the switch is broken due to PTSD and can't be turned on right now it is 100% not my fault.
The thing that I have come to realise is that the rules of relationships don't seem to apply. And this is the hardest thing that I am learning to accept. Or maybe not. Some days I feel like I am just not strong enough to deal with the rollercoaster of emotions that I am experiencing. The rejection. The feeling I am not loved. The feeling that I am not worthy. The passion. The listening ear. The connection. The mutual understanding.
I feel like I have to always be in a state of understanding of him and I can't express my emotions because I have to be mindful of how it will affect him. Whether he is in a good place or not. Relationships should be about understanding each other but when I don't feel like I am being understood by the one I love it hurts. It hurts when my needs are not being met. Yes some of those needs can be met through other people but there are some needs that only he can meet. One of them being the need to feel loved by him. And it's not always about expressing love for each other through sex. There are so many other ways to express love. For him, the other ways of showing love and affection lead him to believe that I am hoping that it will lead to sex, which is not true, but because he doesn't believe that or it reminds him that he can't express his love for me through sex he is pulling back in those areas. And it feels like he is purposefully pushing me away. Sometimes I feel like the PTSD is an excuse. And that is a shitty way to feel, but that is how I feel sometimes. Does having PTSD mean you can't try? Or that I am not worthy of him trying? Am I not worthy of him putting in some effort for me? It makes you feel like shit. But here I am again, having to be understanding of him and trying to pull myself out of the emotional pain I am in because it is not me. So where is the line? Am I ever going to be able to express my emotions fully? Things that other people take for granted in their relationships, like having someone just grab you and kiss you passionately and say how beautiful you are. Someone who will just drop in to see how you are? Or buy you a bunch of flowers, leave you a love note. When the PTSD and depression starts to set in those things are gone, and sometimes for months on end. It is hard. Really hard. I guess for me these are the things I need to be thinking about. Whether I can cope with that and still know that he loves me without him actually expressing it to me during those times, and during those times that are quite lengthy.
My love language is primarily touch. So I guess for me it is particularly emotionally painful. I have told him this, and I guess under different circumstances this would not be such a problem, but when intimacy and affection are the first to go when the PTSD starts to kick in and he is unable to do those things there is not a lot I can do. And I need to consider my needs and whether or not I am able to continue on with this knowing this is how it will be. I love this man, I fell in love with him for some many different reasons, so for me to even be re-considering the relationship at times is hard in itself because I am not an a**ehole and it is not something I ever thought I would consider breaking up with someone over, especially someone who I have fallen in love with. Is my love for him enough to get us through? Do I need to work on my self worth and self esteem more to make me stronger and able to cope? Probably.
Well that's my ramblings for now. It feels good to be able to write all this down and just let it out and know that there are other people going through similar issues/feelings etc. I am going to try and I'm not about to give up on us yet. There have been some really good ideas out there that I think would be useful for us and different options that are worth a try. So thank you.
Much love to you all.
xoxo
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