Life Beyond Forum - You Can Too

[Deleted member 93]

From me, veiled. I hope you know you can take so much away from here, from our experiences. Just know walk away and do not listen to what you know is not true. Personally I think that is key. So much help but that help can cross a line and see things not there. Do not forget your doctors are trained professionals and no one knows you better than you.

I am going to go on about me but first I am going to go on about someone who has busted their hump... I saw it happen and was there to see it. I am so happy to see it. I only wish others here saw it and did not assume things were not in action beyond the forum. From Her - And I will be a weenie and say I tried to play a part. She can kill me later. Her thoughts...

I just thought I would let everyone know how I am doing. I am officially stabilized! My anger issues are well under control, as are my flashbacks, anxiety and derealization episodes. I was given big kudos for doing all the hard work at home to get to this point.

I know socialize, have friends, grocery shop, do errands, exercise regularly and yes, *gasp* even date a bit

I am soon to do trauma therapy and have an excellent foundation for the hard work to come. I can't wait to see what I look like when I come to the end of that! I never imagined that I could get this far and do so good

Matt is also doing excellent. He is working hard and making major headway. He is starting to make friends, go out in the community and has stabilized at home and school.

Thank you to everyone for all the support in the last year and a half. It meant the world to me. I encourage everyone to continue their unique journey to coping and healing! We can ALL do it!

Bec

Me... I was fed a bunch of crap. I know what I do. I learned how to escape my home. I shopped. I shoveled sidewalks. I quit meds. I quit smoking. I did frigging awesome. Almost no one stops smoking. I face my fears. I dance. I smile. I act silly. I cut up with a friend. Before this I stayed in bed. My heart was fried. I had tachycardia. My heart is now down to 76 bpm resting!!!!!!!! You have no ****ing idea how cool this is. I can move.

One person here pushed me. Someone as bad off as me. And now I am better. I am not angry. I watch my words. I do not fold. understanding is not the same as giving up. So many need to give up and so many need to learn where not to. So many need to learn where to live and I hope they do like I did as it is awesome.

No matter who thinks I do not... I know I so do. Thank you for the one who pushed me to live.

We all can... We just have to decide to.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Veiled,

I'm glad that you are feeling better. I'm just not sure what you are trying to get at with this thread.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Others have felt held back I have spoke with off forum. I am hoping others see you can be well off forum and it is OK! Just because we are here does not mean we have to be unwell, we can be so well!

 

[Deleted member 541]

So what I think you are saying is that this forum/Anthony is keeping us sick, holding us back, not allowing us to get better?????

Veiled, I usually don't like to get into pissing contest with people as I really do think that everyone has there own opinion and is entitled to it, so for the sake of that statement....Here's my opinion.


I personally don't think that this forum/Anthony holds anyone back. He encourages people, he pushes people to talk. He makes you see a different side to the equation, a different possibility, a different way to look at things. Is he the GOD of PTSD and his word final??? NO !!! Everyone here has a mind of there own and should use it. Anthony and his knowledge is just another tool as I see it.

What I also see from your post is this. You are angry at everything that has happened, and are still trying to *FIX* things. You can't fix it. Bec and Anthony have to do that. I also see that you you are being manipulated to come here and tell people that they are better off outside of the forum. Gee that's a big turn around for you. A few weeks ago you loved this place and the people here. So where is this coming from?????

Bec should have been the one to post the letter, NOT YOU!!!!! Again you are trying to fix things, or sway people.

Just my opinion, and I have probably stirred the pot. NOT my intention. Just making some simple observations that I see.

 

[grace5555]

No - she is trying to tell us we have a voice to speak up on this forum even though some of those voices have been squashed and/or punished for speaking up and for not being perfect according to some standards. And that there is life, healing, and answers beyond the forum - this is only a part. I really, really wish my brain was working properly so I can adequately respond so my opinion is not worth much but I hurt about the way people have been stomped on here for no good reason. They were not out to hurt anyone and in this hell of a disease, they are kicked when down or confused or hurting and I really, really hate that. Is this really how we want to be treated ourselves?

 

[Kathy]

I haven't much to add as I detest getting involved in these arguments, however I will say this. Everyone here is an adult and anyone feeling the forum is holding them back is free to leave or take breaks at any time. No one is coerced into staying here, far from it. Members have always been advised to take breaks and to have a life apart from here. From what I gather, most here do have lives - families, employment, school and so forth - and come here only when they can. If anyone feels held back, they are holding themselves back, plain and simple. It is far easier to point the finger at the forum when the real problem lies within oneself.

 

[Lisa]

Okay...I don't want this to get out of hand... I'm fed up with bad feeling on this forum, and obviously this post is, for whatever reason, doing this already.

HOWEVER...I'm going to ignore any arguments for my own sake, and take all the positives from this. Because I can choose to do this, and will, in order to help myself and myself first. I've been here a year today... and I've learned a lot, about myself and others. Yes, there have been times I've disagreed, been offended, felt hurt, frustrated etc.... and there have been times I have been so grateful, so supported it has pulled me through times I may not have survived otherwise. There have been times my eyes have been opened to a whole new understanding. The information, support, and company here is of great value to me. I have also learned a hell of a lot about how to voice my opinion and when... I think this has ultimately helped me offline too.

I think from what I am reading on your post, Veiled (and Bec)... is that hard work on overcoming PTSD doesn't start or end on this forum. True. Also that, to be here doesn't mean you have to be ill... you can get better. True. Also that, being here shouldn't be the sole existance of a person... life has to happen offline. Again, True. I don't think anybody can disagree with all this. These are good things to encourage.

I am elated that both you and Bec have made *so much* headway, regardless if off or on forum. Either way, the end goal is closer to both of you. And that is most definitely brilliant! Bec, I so want to hear about this dating! Veiled, CONGRATULATIONS on bringing your tachycardia down and all the work you've done. In relation to you both achieving this off forum... again this is brilliant! If you don't need this forum to heal, that only tells me that you are learning to help yourself, are self-educated enough and supported enough offline enough to do this, and are doing a brilliant job as a result!

I am sorry though, that you feel you were 'fed a bunch of crap'. I only hope that you got something that you don't feel was 'a bunch of crap' here... it is clear you are referring to something specific here, but many won't read it that way as it's not clear. I am sure that is an over generalised statement though. Maybe you feel someone, or several people fed you a bunch of crap... but for a start, you made friends with Bec through this forum... and regardless of who has and hasn't helped, ultimately, you have gained that. So it's not been all unhelpful right?

I am glad that you are both taking life forward off forum, as I think this is brilliant. That is the sole aim of this forum, to heal and move forward. Though I don't feel that needs to mean leaving this part of this life behind. Either way, this forum has been a big part of both your lives and part of your journey, whether you feel learned bad or good things (or both) here. Where you go from now is entirely your choice, and I wish you all the best with that, and hope I can maintain some form of contact to know where you are at and what you are doing!

If I ignore any thing in this post that indicates hard feeling at something (correct me if I am wrong), what I am taking from this post is that only I can heal myself... and with that comes knowing myself and only needing to know that. That others can offer new perspectives, but ultimately, I must go with what fits me? That doctors and professionals may have the tools to help, but ultimately they don't know who I am, where I've been, how I feel etc. That's good, that's how I've always felt...though I do think it is always important to consider what others offer in their views. But ultimately, I take what helps. Wise words have been said by some here that, in conclusion - consider everything, take what helps, and move on from anything that doesn't. If memory serves me rightly, I believe either you or bec (or both) have said this in so many words in the past here. Though I may be wrong, since I have a frazzled brain half the time these days!

I take all the good things your post suggests as positive encouragement.

Over the last year, both you and Bec have been an important part of this foum. And you both helped me through bad times, as have others. I have great respect for you both as people out there somewhere in the big wide world. I am glad to say that I don't feel held back. This forum is very helpful to me, when politics isn't involved. I know what doesn't help me, I know what does... and I stick with acting to protect my own best interests by sticking to what helps, and staying out of anything that doesn't.

That's my interpretation of your post, and feelings, but correct me if any of that is wrong.

Wishing you both Bec and Veiled, continued recovery.

(still, despite anything and everything, personally miss you both around here as regulars though LOL. but I'll deal with it! I'm just not a fan of change.)

At the end of the day, I recognise nothing and no one is perfect. So I'm just rolling with that, and just focus on myself, and maybe trying to help someone else too if I can. Whether that be support, information, or advice - taken or left. I think it's important to be my own boss and advocate for my own healing... others help me on the way.

 

[Kathy]

I'm going to ignore any arguments for my own sake, and take all the positives from this. Because I can choose to do this, and will, in order to help myself and myself first.

Very well said Lisa, this is exactly my philosophy as well. Congratulations on being here one year, that is marvelous and I can definitely see very positive changes in you. Well done.

 

[Jim]

Well done Lisa, on one year on the forum.

Jim.

 

[mouse]

You know, I usually stay out of things, but I just need to add that reading this thread, did at no time make me feel it was meant to be negative, or a slight to the forum. Maybe Lisa's attitude has rubbed off on me that would be a good thing.

To me it was a very positive thing it just, for the most part bubbled over with hope, and positive thinking and statements, That some symptoms can be managed, and a positive spin put on them, this forum has so much to offer, as do all the people I have met here, nothing but support, insight and a good argument now and again!!!

I love the comment that we don't have to be at our worst and feeling ill to be on here and to post on the forum, its refreshing.. The nice thing is we can come here when we are struggling too, what a unique place, good or bad its always here.

Congrats to all of those who have taken the step to try to stay involved and do things in life!!! To others I know sometimes that isn't the reality for all and I hope that we all can get to the same place that Veiled talked about.

The other thing I love about here is that everyone gets to have an opinion, no right or wrong, just tell it as it is or how you feel, some minds will change others wont but its healthy to interact like this.

Hey just my opinion.

 

[Jim]

Good perspective to have Mouse. Strive for positivity myself.

Jim.

 

[anthony]

I agree with veiled, in that people need to get off the forum and more into life; its called exposure therapy. I know I certainly push people to get back into life, and I do hope people do exactly that. You cannot solve all your problems online, far from it. You can not solve all your trauma via words or a trauma diary. Yes, it is part of the bigger picture, though you need so many things combined into the total package in order to truly heal. This forum as a community for understanding is only one part of that. People must take upon themselves to be in therapy, to expose themselves to life, to force themselves beyond their own boundaries. People need to team up and help one another, though also need to be very careful at the same time in that they do not enable one another, as that is easily done and often missed by many.

What veiled is saying I take as what I would say, being people need to get away from relying upon just any online medium.... it cannot be done, you MUST use all things in moderation, this forum being one of them. This is nothing new though, and said here quite often by veiled, myself, Kathy and others. You cannot depend upon one thing, because it can make or break your foundation of healing, which is not the desired effect. You need face to face communication. You need to expose yourself to anything you fear.... from walking out your door to shopping, entertainment, etc. It is about exposure.... though first you must push yourself through healing your trauma. You cannot get around it, over it or under it, you can only go through it and face everything it has to throw at you. How you do that, well... that is unique to you. What works for you must be found from trial and error.

From what I understand veiled to be saying.... I totally concur.