Sufferer Living With Ptsd, Need Ideas For Motivation.

[safenow]

"Fake it until you make it", stolen from the AA big book (from memory), but applicable for all that... Tell your school the problem, get them to understand the issues, then seek support when things are going wrong.

I so agree with you on all you said. especially the "tell your school the problem." I'm 67 years old and had ptsd since I saw my sister murdered by my step-mother when I was 7 years old. Back in those days they didn't call it ptsd. but when I was 22 my doctor called it ptsd. he said it was as though i'd been in a war, with all the violence and trauma i'd been through in my short life. A lot of shit happened after that, but the good news is, it does get better.

Once others can understand what PTSD does to you, they begin to want to help. Not everyone, but most do. I learned that once i knew all my triggers, and my reaction to them, I could control what was going on (for the most part). Yes, i still have some bad times, but not nearly as many as I used to have.

Sounds like you are getting some wonderful support here. Take care.
Safe-now

 

[sweetgirl1975]

Thank you for your words of wisdom. The school is aware, I just worry if I have too much difficulty that they will kick me out :( and this degree is so important to me and I am working so hard. I am studying psychology so I am getting more and more insight into what is going on in my head. (I cant wait to start helping people)
It would be much easier if others understood, if only family, I am so judged even by my mother. Makes it difficult when I feel like people think I am "crazy". I try to be strong, sometimes it blows up in my face. I never realized how many triggers I have until I really started paying attention rather then trying to suppress feelings.

got my marks today!! :) I will take a 2.0 average considering I hadn't been in school in 18 years and this first semester has been extremely overwhelming.
Thanks again for the words of support!

 

[AS1975]

Congratulations on the marks, it feels good doesn't it?:)

Most schools are very aware nowadays of the potential to assist (and the need) people with a disability, or learning difficulty. I've had to pull out of 3 semesters without academic/financial penalty so far, yet the school hasn't kicked me out.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Sweetgirl

I do what I can on the days I am in the PSTD zone and cut myself a break. When I am feeling better I really push. I guess for me I figure it equals out. Best wishes on your journey to recovery.

TB

 

[sweetgirl1975]

Congratulations on the marks, it feels good doesn't it?

I breathed a big sigh of relief, thank you!.. you have no idea how much that helps. I feel sooo much pressure, it doesn't help now I can chill a bit :)

 

[blackemerald1]

sweetgirl1975, well done! I am so happy for you getting through the exams and the year despite having unwanted disruptions with absence because of PTSD. But you did it and you should feel like you have got to the top of a mountain!

After so many years of being away from school, your PTSD, and trying to stay motivated and get things done, just so many difficulties, but you have prevailed.

Do not ever be afraid to tell the appropriate people at your school that you have PTSD. Would not hurt to have a short confirmation notice from your doctor. I would also type out your symptoms because we all know that PTSD is not the same for everyone. I am sure they have support services to assist you. For instance if you have a 'crash and burn' as I put it, they may be able to help you in several ways to catch up once you get up and dust yourself off. They may also assign a case worker. They just cannot throw you out. You have a diagnosed illness.s

I am trying to start University next year and the vocational advisor has told me that the University will help with my various disabilities and having PTSD. I also have huge problems with being in groups of people. But, my doctors are sure I can do it. I just have to get the guts to try.

Be careful of labelling every backward step, incident or something that causes you angst a "trigger". I am not saying you have not discovered more triggers, but I worry that it can be a self fulfilling thing. Sometimes, you just have to call a sh*** day or moment or person, just that and not a "trigger".

As for being judged, well.... welcome to the world of PTSD and the ignorance that surrounds it. I am sorry to hear your mum can get to you that way. She needs a wake up call. Please take no notice of judgemental people, you are a productive, successful, kind person who is well on her way to a great profession. Your family should be proud. If your mum is draining on you emotionally by being judgemental, try hard to mentally block her out and even tell her that her comments really reflect on her more than you. Because I do think that of judgemental people...they project their jealousy and failures onto people close to them. Just let her know and maybe ask her to not say anything if it cannot be kind. Don't know how you would go being so direct, it is of course your decision but don't let anyone pull you down, you have enough challenges.

I love the way you are so enthusiastic to start helping people, such a honourable profession and so many people in need of a mature, life experienced person. You bring all your qualities and experiences and memories with your graduation certificate into the room when you start to consult with patients.

So, anyway go for it. I again congratulate you on a very successful mark.

Kind regards
blackemerald1









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[sweetgirl1975]

Thank You, I needed to read that today :).. Christmas break thus far has been hard, I am alone way too much. Your kind words and words of encouragement really do mean a lot. Christmas is so hard when you are broke and alone.

I wish you all the best in your journey as well :)

 

[safenow]

Congrats, sweetgirl. Job well done. Back when I was in school, I had to stop and start many times. But they never kicked me out. I just had too many issues and no support. Finally, I did go back long enough to get my degree.

I hope you can go out to the park or just try to get out and be around people and the excitement of the season. Just don't take a large purse. You don't need a mugger (not to place that thought in your mind, just to caution you).

safenow

 

[Ayasha]

The school is aware, I just worry if I have too much difficulty that they will kick me out and this degree is so important to me and I am working so hard.

I'm a university student as well, and I have PTSD as well. What you're describing is almost identical to what I went through last year. I promise, keep working hard and this will pay off. Loving your major is one good way of being successful.

It has honestly taken me a full year to get myself to a point where I am able to balance my symptoms and school, it may not take you this long but I just wanted you to see that it can and usually does take time. It is so worth it, though.

I don't know what will work for you but I'll share some of the things I've been doing:

1. I have a T on campus that I speak to every few weeks to a month (I've been given the option of a different T who would see me more often but I trust my current T); I finally got the courage to go into the Office of Disability Services this year and if you have not yet, please find the one at your university because they can arrange accommodations for you

2. I made my room a safe place, I don't know your living arrangements but I live in a dorm and I had to make it so that my room is a quiet place where I feel safer because I often get overwhelmed in classes, meals, etc.

3. I set small goals. I did this in the beginning: goals as small as 'sit up in bed' gradually became my getting out of bed then I got to a point where I didn't even have to coach myself. Sometimes it helped me to say "It's time to sit up now, it's time to eat now, etc". It might sound silly and a bit weird but it did help, often I told this to myself in my head but it did work for me a few times.

You can do this, being a university student is hard and adding PTSD to it makes being a student even harder but just remember that means you'll be stronger from the experience. Congratulations on the 2.0! That's much better than what mine was, you can do this--I just know it.

 

[blackemerald1]

sweetgirl, I worry you are so broke and alone. Maybe that is something that you can work on. Moving onto campus as Ayasha mentioned maybe helpful in many ways since you have a room of your own you can get to it quickly and quietly when you feel unwell. I really like that idea. Wish I could send you a gift but I am so broke too.

I am always on my own, my son is a typical 19 year old now who is out almost all the time so he doesn't count for proper company. Mother's are not cool when you are a 19 year old male. He is moving onto campus next year or alternatively moving into a Unit with his best mate. Don't know what I am supposed to do???

Anyway, I hope you get through this time of year as best you can. Keep a look out for milk-bars, restaurants etc., maybe some part time work will help in more ways than one.
Kind regards
blackemerald1

 

[sweetgirl1975]

I cant move on to campus, I am 37. I cant say I would kill someone one but umm 17, 18, 19, even 20 year olds are a bit cocky for me. LOL I'm good to be somewhere I consider home and have family close by. I am starting to very slowly trust my family again... people seem to love me for one reason or another.

 

[sweetgirl1975]

I've had too many beer and played balderdash with my family... lol but do your self and your tube, reo speedwagon, here with me... :) xoxo thank u