Looking for ayahuasca, san pedro, and marijuana

[taylor3rt]

Hey all. Im at the end of my rope. I've called the suicide hotline several times this months. My support system has dissolved and in retrospect wasn't doing me any good anyways and I need to move on. I've been thinking about medical marijuana for years and it's not happening in Tennessee so I think it's time I get the f*ck out of here. I want to do ayahuasca and San Pedro and confront my demons. I haven't got a dollar to my name, a honda civic that needs work, and a section 8 voucher that's good anywhere in the USA for an apartment that will take it. I need help because I feel like im flying blind and im scared shitless.

I need these things or I want them because I can't live with myself as it is and im ready to pursue a solution rather than doing the same shit I did last year.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have heard some success stories, but i have also heard people say they had horrifying and traumatic experiences from it. Personally I wouldn't risk it until you are out of crisis. Can you get into therapy?

 

[watundah]

The idea of using substances as a cure all is a short term solution, I'm afraid. When the numbing wears off, the problems remain and drugs are not cheap. An ayahuasca retreat costs $450 for a two night retreat.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Maybe there's a better way.

 

[Kintsugi]

A Honda is not going to get you to a region with ayahuasca. Have you used hallucinogens before? What makes you think it will cure you?

There are plenty of states where you can get medical or recreational marijuana.

Are you seeing a therapist? Have a case worker of some sort? A social worker?

 

[Deadman]

I've done a fair bit of research into the use of Ayahuasca in the treatment of PTSD. My big caution is that it has become so popular that there are many practitioners out there who have no idea what they are doing.

The traditional use of Ayahuasca had built in safeguards. The ceremony was supervised my elders who were very familiar with the drug and its pros and cons. It was also supported by the local culture. Almost everyone else would have had similar experiences so a user could talk about his experiences weeks afterwards knowing that those around him understood. You wouldn't have that same safety net.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Drugs not prescribed by a doctor, especially a hallucinogen, is a horrible idea!

I live in Florida where medical marijuana was just passed and made legal, which also helps me sleep, helps chronic pain, and helps anxiety and I still refuse to take it due to being a drug. CBD oil, the stuff that helps anxiety and does not make you high, still doesn't impress me enough to want to take it.

It just isn't an answer! Therapy would be an answer.

 

[JKMD]

Hey all. Im at the end of my rope. I've called the suicide hotline several times this months. My support system has...

@taylor3rt, I'm originally from TN too. No shit when I say this.... depending on where you live and how small the town or city is, that could literally drive anyone suicidal. If you don't mind my asking, which region are you from? I've lived all over TN but my original/family home town is in NW TN.

 

[taylor173]

Oh joy! I forgot all about this thread and ran into it again via a search on ptsd and San Pedro.

I live in east tn and I I'm ready to get the f*ck out of here. I can't take it anymore. The resources suck and the Christianity stuff is staggering. In retrospect, I should have bought a bus ticket out of here the day I remembered my abuse.

My suicidal ideation has gotten much worse and I have been calling the helpline very frequently. I stopped going to my make survivor group because of some of the stuff people were saying. One guy was talking about how he deserves to get raped, and that it was his divine karma. I couldn't handle it.

I respect everyone's opinion on drugs like aya and San pedro, but I would greatly appreciate being a part of a community that uses these medicines to explore their traumas or whatever. Im flying into denver, co in two weeks and I'm hitting up the first dispensary I see. I've got to make it a permanent move because I'm not coming back to tennessee unless it's to get my car. f*ck this place. If you're in Denver and have some resources, or anywhere in colorado, let me know. I also have a section 8 voucher that's transferable to any state to make housing more affordable. I'd love to live on the west coast or in california, but any state that can help me get some sleep and lessen my anxiety with weed is going to trump anything I can do for myself right now.

I was so excited to see everyone's replies! Omg I felt some hope, which has been running either thin or I've been instantly pushing away because it sounds like such a lie. I'm that miserable.

I got this job cutting trees just to save up money to get out to Colorado and it's been a f*cking nightmare and triggering as f*ck to be a college grad working with a bunch of pilled up ex felons.