I am not or have never been in LE but could not help but noticing your posts and seeing that there seems to be, or you all describe a certain kind of ptsd that comes with being in LE and that is not understood by all trauma therapists.
I was a victim of dv around 1980 It is so prevelant in my area, that after getting my masters degree, I ended up specializing in DV. Women would come in for services due to effects of domestic violence, and not only did I provide psychological counseling, I had to be up to date on laws and procedures of of obtaining PO's and the like. A high percentage of these women, although present for recent dv, ended up disclosing abuses previous to their intimate partner. Sometimes family violence or rape, date rape, minister, teachers, counselors, cops, family friends, etc. There is a very high burn out in listening to explicit material hour after hour, day after day. It did not traumatize me, but was nothing less than toxic at times.
I was also the female that co facilitated a batterers intervention program for abuser. I can say with certainty, I was disliked by abuser, (many victims were partners of cops.), some cops, magistrates, prosecutors when I informed women of their rights and the laws. (like getting assistance to get their clothing out of the house).
I was also well liked by the same groups for helping victims that they referred to me, sometimes relatives or family friends. Well liked by school counselors for seeing teens in school individually without pay (grant did not cover) so that young women abused in their home had an outlet. I started at $10 hr with no benefits and was single parent of 2 teenage daughters. Working at a shelter, exposed to lice, scabies, ring worm, etc. quite regularly. Did this for nearly 10 years-because I care.
After having an accident and taking time off of work, I asked my boyfriend to leave in the middle of the night when he wanted coddling over his job and insecurities and several hours of discussion. After gathering his belongings, he decided he wanted to go into my room and I said NO. He called the police. Long story short-I told them his stuff was by the back door and they could look in my room, but I would not give him/bf permission. If there was something he forgot, I would go get it or the officer could. The officer first thought I was somoeone else. Then I mistakenly told him I worked for dv and that is how he know me. So he beat me up, pointed a pistol in my face in front of my daughter, drug me from my home in the middle of the night with my pajamas falling off. Drug me head first down stairs banging my head and slamming it in police car, kicking me. My daughter called the prosecutor, who told him to bring me to magistrate after I received treatment at the hospital. The officer said the boyfriend did the damage. The magistrate scolded him but he is still working. I continue to have nightmares. I have attempted suicide. My arm is permenantly injured (on top of cervical disc herniation, stenosis, and head injury from accident). I later discovered he was an abuser of women.
I know this is not the behavior of all cops, but I cant get past this. There are other women on this forum who have experienced the same. I have never even had a speeding ticket. No voices were raised during this incident except by the officer, and there had never been any physical abuse. While I was being paraded around with my breasts and ass showing from missing buttons and draw string in pj, they left the boyfriend in the house with my daughter. He cleaned out my jewelry box, mostly taking things he had bought me and a few other things.
LE can be really good. I would never call the police even if my childrens lives were in jeopardy. My daughter, age 20, was nearly hysterical about what she witnessed. She is in law school and has been offered job in prosecutors office. She has chosen to work for public defender.
I am in no way discounting your work and what you have experienced. I hate this cop and every time I think of him I wish he was dead-and that is out of my realm of thinking. I have never been anything less that peaceful and non violent. If he was falling off a cliff and I could give him a hand, I would smash his fingers and give him a push. He has done this to many people. Two others on the same force just convicted of raping women. This is typical in my city.
I had no trouble being followed on occassion by an abuser. I thought that police had my back. He had my back alright, and I still have the bloody clothing to prove it.
