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[desiderata310]

@blackswan I know how frustrating it is to LIVE with this. I am certain that living with a sufferer has as many frustrations. Luckily, I don't impose on a partner. Take a deep breath. S/he hates feeling like this.

 

[blackswan]

@desiderata310 - I'm not feeling imposed on, just dealing with this week's collaborative roller coaster and the above perspectives helped with some of the PTSD parts of it. Wanted to say thanks is all :)

 

[ghotiff]

I agree with definitely not surprising her with a trip.

On the Garmen idea (but cheaper), maybe the surprise bit could be a Scrapbook that you present to her that you have filled with all the details of the trip in there, the dates, the map, pictures of the place, pictures of the hotel etc, and leave pages in the back to add photos from the trip etc. I can imagine how she might really like opening that present and be genuinely surprised but in a way that she would enjoy. The more effort you put into the book, the more it shows how much you understand and care about her needs.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Good idea @ghotiff and she will have it later to lift her spirits on a not so great day

 

[Oldguy]

Might want to skip the surprise part in that manner.

Lose the surprise bit

I would lose the surprise bit too.

Not a good idea.

if I am in control I know I am safe

doesn't sound like a 'nice' surprise

Please, no surprises.

I agree with definitely not surprising her with a trip.

OH WOW!!! I got THAT message loud and clear!!!! I have been away for a bit and was rather shocked at all the responses here. I suppose in my gut I knew the answer already, but this has definitely affirmed that. Thank you all for your responses and suggestions.

The trip is not until this fall, so I do have time to plan a better more appropriate strategy given the circumstances. I really liked so many of the ideas here. The Garmin is a great idea, though I think I could just program her cell phone. (Oh boy, did I just say that really? What I meant is, I could have my grandson program her cell phone). That way she would have the turn by turn map right with her. We have done this on other occasions and it did seem to lesson her anxiety.

Scrap booking, I don't know if I am creative enough to do that, but the brochure idea could work. Maybe she could make her own scrap book after all is said and done. I could start mailing her hints over the next few months to peek her curiosity.

You all hit the real issue right on the head. Feeling safe and in control are very important to her. She has told me this a number of times and I try to accommodate her needs the best I can. Sometimes, I must confess, I don't feel I do an adequate job of it. So far though, we have kept the lines of communication open and been able to talk frankly about it.

Therapy was mentioned in a couple of the posts, and yes she has been to therapy. She attributes how well she is doing to the therapy she has been through. I am very proud of her determination to be "normal". However, we have talked about what is normal and what isn't. Our views are pretty far apart. For the most part, I think she is too hard on herself striving for something that is really not tangible. In my humble opinion, there really is no "normal" when it comes to human behavior and the human mind. That is just the opinion of an old fart who has seen a whole lot over the years.

Anyway, I can't thank you all enough for your posts. This sight is chalk full of information and I am thrilled to have this resource to help me better understand PTSD. As for the surprise, I got the message! We will just go with another plan and make it just as special for my special gal.

Thanks again from an Old Dog trying to learn new tricks!

 

[desiderata310]

If she has an IPhone you just have to tell SIRI to give you directions to the address of the place you are headed. (Ah technology! How I do love thee) And she will bring them up from where you are and give you turn by turn and even speak them out loud:
All you have to do is hit the big round button and hold it till the phone dings:
Say "give me directions to 2524 Old Farm Road"
Siri will then give you turn by turn directions:

"in 1500 feet turn right on to Old Farm Road
Turn Right on to Old Farm Road.
For 15 miles head west north west on Old Farm Road..
Destination will be on the right"

hehehehe...