Lost my best friend to suicide

[Angelwings]

I am writing this because now that I am on new meds, I actually have feelings and need to process it. My best friend and a man I considered to be my brother, whom I had known since my freshman year of highschool committed suicide last summer. He was a medic in the Army and had PTSD. I am not mad at him. I understand why he felt the way he felt and why he did what he did. He was a blessing to me and I cherished our friendship. I'm crushed. He once stopped me from doing the same thing, so I guess I'm alive today because of him. I just wish he had given me the chance to do the same thing for him. His family has erased him. They took down his facebook page, I can't find any information on him online anywhere, whereas I used to be able to...it's really sad. He deserves to be remembered. He served this country. We owe him that, at least.

 

[Teasel]

I'm so sorry for your loss, he sounds a great friend to have had

 

[mumstheword]

My condolences! Very very sad. So sorry (((((Hugs))))) @Angelwings :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Angelwings]

My condolences! Very very sad. So sorry (((((Hugs))))) @Angelwings :hug::hug::hu...

@mumstheword Thank you :-)

I'm so sorry for your loss, he sounds a great friend to have had

@Bearlinda Thank you.

 

[ladee]

So sorry you didn't get to tell him bye. You are honoring him, by sharing what a great friend he was, and still is, and by not being angry at him. Just still loving him. Tender hugs if you accept.

 

[Angelwings]

So sorry you didn't get to tell him bye. You are honoring him, by sharing what a great friend he was, and...

@ladee Thank you, I do accept.

 

[Virtues]

You don't know for sure his family is "erasing" him, maybe they are just dealing with their grief in a different way than you are dealing with yours. I don't know how I can be helpful to you, but I do offer my condolences. I have lost loved ones before their time, I have lost Marines (one just recently to suicide); each one was different in their own way, none of them was easy to stomach. The grieving process is real. DABDA: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. It could be they are in a different stage of grieving or just handling it in a different way. I am so sorry for your loss, wishing there was something I could say to help ease the pain, but I know there isn't...

 

[Angelwings]

You don't know for sure his family is "erasing" him, maybe they are just dealing with their grief i...

Just knowing that you cared enough to respond is helpful. You're probably right that they aren't erasing him. I just felt that way even at his funeral. His mom didn't come. She has a long road of healing ahead. I do not envy her at all.

 

[hithere]

I am writing this because now that I am on new meds, I actually have feelings and need to process it...

I'm so sorry. The pain is great when we lose a friend, a confidante, a person we can "be ourselves" with, that we can relax with. A person we love. It's so different than losing a parent. In many ways it is much much harder. Especially one so young with so much life left to live. Having SI is a difficulty thing to carry. I hope you can find some comfort as you grieve this loss and with time find a way to honor him and what he means (current tense) to you. sending hope for comfort to you...

 

[Angelwings]

I'm so sorry. The pain is great when we lose a friend, a confidante, a person we can "be ourselves" wit...

@hithere Thank you for your kind words. I'm going to find a way to remember him some way at home, like putting up pictures or something. Right now I'm in a crying phase. I don't know what comes next.